How to Dismiss a Preoccupied Person

When you work with that model, what you do is you approach the dismissing person because they're good at exploring. They can see their self interest clearly, and so if you can explain to them that it's in their self interest to take better care of their partner - then they'll be more willing to help out. So there are moments where the taking care of the other person is not thought of as like an explicitly transactional thing but a secure functioning has been internalized.