The Importance of Repeated Interactions in Facilitating Friendship

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The mere exposure effect describes our tendency to like things that are familiar. If you continue to be exposed to someone, they don't harm you, then you feel trust with them. When we have repeated interaction, mere exposure increases, we like them more. They like us more. And if we do want to initiate an interaction and say something like, hey, I've really enjoyed talking to you. We'd love to connect further,. You open to exchanging contact information. We're just more likely to be successful versus when we've seen someone once, maybe at like a lecture at a bar and then we ask them to hang out.

It's a mistake to prioritize romantic and familial relationships over friendship, argues psychologist Dr. Marisa Franco. Strong, supportive friendships expand our sense of self, she says, and are associated with greater well-being and health. Marisa offers research-based strategies to make new friends and deepen our existing friendships, including helpful concepts like mutuality and the mere-exposure effect. Marisa and Maya also discuss how to stay friends through big life changes, why fighting could make your friendship stronger, and how to break up with a friend with clarity and kindness.

For more on Marisa's work, check out her book, “Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends."

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