Dating Apps Optimize the Wrong Traits

Most people think confidence is about believing you'll succeed. Mark Manson knows better — it's about being comfortable with failure. After writing one of the best-selling nonfiction books of all time and spending nearly two decades studying human psychology, the author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck has cracked the code on why Gen Z is struggling with relationships, why therapy culture might be making us worse, and why your emotions are a system that needs managing just like your business.

In this raw conversation, Mark breaks down the alarming statistics behind today's confidence crisis, why dating apps are optimizing for all the wrong things, and how adopting labels as identity actually amplifies your problems. We dive deep into the hidden costs of success, why the happiest country in the world has low expectations, and the brutal truth about why 20-25% of Gen Z has cut off at least one parent. He reveals why AI therapy is both promising and dangerous, the single question that exposes red flags on first dates, and why marrying well is the highest leverage decision of your entire life.

But this isn't just about what's broken — it's about what actually works. Mark explains why failure is the only currency that matters, how to stop being a people pleaser without being a dick, and why your bank account reflects the difficult conversations you're willing to have. If you've ever felt like you're chasing happiness instead of meaning, or if you want to build real confidence that comes from action instead of affirmation, this episode will change how you think about success, relationships, and the problems you're willing to have in your life.

Thanks to GoDaddy for sponsoring this video! Head to ⁠https://godaddy.com/codiesanchez⁠ to get started with GoDaddy Airo® today

___________

00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:16 The Paradox of Being Likable 00:05:19 The Dating App Crisis and Modern Relationships 00:07:45 What Real Success Actually Means 00:09:16 The Happiest Country: Low Expectations in Finland 00:11:28 Social Skills: The 80/20 of Happiness 00:13:21 Confidence is Comfort with Failure 00:15:14 Building Failure Muscle: From Small to Big 00:24:07 The Post-Exit Existential Crisis 00:27:33 Stop Labeling Yourself: Identity and Mental Health 00:45:07 Emotions as a System to Manage 00:48:37 The Why Game: Peeling Back the Onion 00:49:45 Therapy Culture and Cutting Off Family 00:53:48 ChatGPT as Therapist: The Malignant Narcissist Problem 00:56:27 Building Purpose: AI That Challenges You 01:02:40 AI Limitations: Brilliant Idiots 01:06:21 Choosing a Life Partner: More Than Romance 01:09:37 The Best First Date Question 01:11:18 Everything Comes with Bullshit 01:12:17 What Pain Do You Want?

___________

MORE FROM BIGDEAL

🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@podcastbigdeal

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bigdeal.podcast

📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@big.deal.pod

MORE FROM CODIE SANCHEZ

🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez

📽️ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realcodiesanchez

OTHER THINGS WE DO

🌐 Our community: https://contrarianthinking.typeform.com/to/WBztXXID

📰 Free newsletter: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3XWLlZp

📚 Biz buying course: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3NhjGgN

🏠 Resibrands: https://resibrands.com/

💰 CT Capital: https://contrarianthinking.biz/4eRyGOk

🏦 Main St Hold Co: https://contrarianthinking.biz/3YfGa8u

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices