That's so gorgeous. It's really exciting to hear you talk about that and the fact that you're, you know, you're up for this, not only a new challenge in, in terms of creating this, this whole place, this retreat, but also taking yourself on a whole new path career wise to become a practitioner. I think like you've just said, you know, when you go through something traumatic or very deep, you often are then spurred on to walk down a completely different path. And I'm so sorry to, to hear about the loss of your baby. I didn't know about that. And having had, you know, a lot of friends who have experienced the same, that grief is also of course teamed with your body having been through so much. And like you say, nature is so important. I think we underestimate it in those times where we're emotionally, mentally and physically going through stuff.

It is

on a cellular level. It's doing something. You know, how, how did that impact your healing from, from such a tricky time?

I feel like I, I just, I really allowed myself to be intuitive. I felt very wild and very feral. And there was things that were that I just had to do. And I think in grief, you, you allow yourself all sorts. You know what I mean? Like you really, you get a bit feral. And I think just to help, help us move, move into those spaces and move through those spaces to be able to create ceremony was a huge part of it for me. So again, I'd never, I'd never done anything ceremonial before. I'd never, I didn't know about any indigenous practices. I didn't know about any Celtic or witchy practices or again, there's loads of things to choose from. But I was just going completely off of this just sort of intuitive drive. But you know, we created this, this funeral for her in, in our garden outside in nature. We had our friends and family there. We wrote all of the words ourselves. We sang. We, and you know, I made the space for the, the couple of days before I had sort of, you know, decorated all the space, which ended up being this circle and, and honestly, I had, I was, I was so far away from any of that sort of stuff of ritual or ceremony or understanding it or even it being, you know, for me at all, I was just like, Oh gosh, no, I mean, I used to be a Catholic, but I've got no idea about that sort of stuff. And I think from that experience, it was just like,

Oh, oh my gosh, that

what we, what we did there, that that was magic. It was almost like we imbued the ground, the earth with such intention and power that now when we go to that place, which is Billy's garden, it's like, it's, it feel, it's got an energy. Like it really feels different to how it did before when it was just a bit of field. And so it's been so, it's been such a powerful thing for me in my own healing journey. And I suppose, you know, you, you must feel the same for him to be doing what you're doing as well. You've got the happy place, you know, which is a huge help for people really starting to educate and help people a lot of the time who maybe don't think that well being stuff or anything esoteric is for them, just making it much

more accessible.