Co-regulation and the Social Basis of Resilience

Resilience isn’t about pretending you’re fine or never feeling pain—it’s about learning how to act in your best interest despite the pain. In this episode of Solved, we dive deep into the science, psychology, and real-life examples of resilience—from Ernest Shackleton’s crew surviving two years stranded in Antarctica to my own slightly insane decision to run an endurance race with basically no training. Spoiler: I didn’t die.

We cover it all: the biology of resilience, why some people are “dandelions” and thrive anywhere while others are “orchids” who need the right environment, the mindsets that let you push through hardship without losing your mind, and why humor and community might secretly be your best survival tools. And of course, we deliver the real, practical, evidence-based strategies you can actually apply when life inevitably decides to kick you in the teeth.

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, stuck, or like you can’t take one more setback, this episode is for you. And if you’re one of those psychos who enjoys doing hard sh*t just to see what you’re made of… well, you’ll feel right at home here.

We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/resilience

Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join the Solved Community where you can interact with like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://membership.solvedpodcast.com/

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Chapters:

00:00 Introduction 04:44 Chapter 1: Reframing Resilience — Definitions & Misconceptions 13:11 The Word That Started It All 16:30 Bounce Forward, Not Back 23:50 Chapter 2: Developmental and Biological Foundations of Resilience 29:26 The Evolutionary Puzzle 38:54 Chapter 3: Biological & Physiological Foundations 44:45 Training Your Brain to Be More Resilient 48:43 The HPA Axis: Our Central Stress Response System 51:19 Heart Rate Variability: The Resilience Rhythm 54:32 Physiological Interventions 1:00:07 Gut-Brain Axis 1:17:17 Chapter 4: Psychological, Philosophical & Evidence-Based Frameworks 1:20:19 The 5 Mindsets of Resilience 1:21:46 Mindset #1: Anything Is Possible 1:38:22 Mindset #2: Stories Are Just Stories 1:44:16 MIndset #3: Focus on What You Control 1:58:55 Mindset #4: Make It Fun 2:10:34 Mindset #5: Assume a Resilient Identity 2:20:21 Pheidippides 2:27:00 Chapter 5: Sociocultural & Community Dimensions 2:37:40 Social Connection and Resilience: Why Strong People Don't Go It Alone 2:45:33 Blitz Spirit: Myth vs Reality 2:48:23 How to Build Your Resilient Circle 2:57:28 Chapter 6: The 80/20 of Becoming More Resilient 3:11:36 The Hidden Costs of Resilience 3:22:25 What We Learned

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