What to do when both want the other to initiate

Every week on Instagram, we host “Ask Us Anything” sessions. And honestly? We get way more questions than we could ever answer in stories.

So today, we’re bringing some of those unanswered Qs straight to the podcast to give you deeper answers, real stories, and the honest, judgment-free advice you’ve been waiting for.

Get ready, because we’re tackling some of your biggest, wildest curiosities about sex, intimacy, and relationships.

💛 Here’s what we’re getting into:

• Why some guys are so into swallowing (and what it really means).

• When “lasting too long” in bed becomes its own problem.

• How to tell your new partner about things you liked with an ex.

• What to do when you can’t seem to drop a fetish.

• Healing steps for survivors of sexual trauma who want a healthy sex life.

• What happens when you both want the other person to initiate.

And that’s just the beginning — this episode is packed with your real questions and our no-BS answers.

🔗 Links & Resources

• Ready to uncover your unique intimacy blueprint? Take our free Intimacy Quiz and learn the key that drives your connection: 👉🏻 https://vmtherapy.com/5keys

• Treat your partner to the best foreplay they’ve ever had 👉🏻The Ultimate Foreplay Guides http://vmtherapy.com/foreplay

• Learn how to initiate with confidence 👉🏻The Art of Initiation https://vmtherapy.com/initiation

• Unlock expert tools, our core course library, and more inside our membership 👉🏻 Deeper https://vmtherapy.com/deeper

🎧 Stay connected

📸 Follow us on Instagram ➡️ **https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander**

💌 Get our weekly email — with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and plenty of flirty fun.

Sign up here 👉 https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe

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Timestamps 

00:00 – Intro

03:00 – Why are guys so into swallowing?

11:04 – My partner lasts too long in bed

22:47 – How do I bring up things an ex used to do to me with my partner?

30:54 – Scheduling sex feels awkward—how do I get over that?

39:52 – How to get over a fetish

47:30 – How to reassure your partner with ED

56:19 – How SA survivors can have a great sex life

58:31 – What to do if we both want the other partner to initiate

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