Nearness to God vs. Earning Approval

In this episode, I sit down with my lovely wife Lauren to explore her story. She shares about growing up as a “good girl,” always chasing approval, achievement, and the A+. But beneath that pursuit was a deeper struggle: the fear of being weak, broken, or not enough. We talk about how that mindset shaped our marriage, her ministry, and her identity—and the powerful moment when she finally laid it all down at Recovery. This conversation is filled with the kind of grace that sets people free. If you’ve ever struggled with perfectionism, people-pleasing, or performance-driven faith, I believe this episode will offer truth and healing to where you are.

In This Episode

• Childhood roots of perfectionism and people-pleasing
• How "being good" can become a way to avoid needing God
• Marriage as the first wake-up call to grace
• Hitting the idol of achievement in music ministry
• The surrender chip moment: Letting go of control
• Embracing powerlessness and understanding grace
• How fixed mindset stifled creativity and risk-taking
• Moving toward a growth mindset in songwriting
• Learning to say “no” and disappoint people with peace
• Parenting and people-pleasing under the spotlight
• Shame, criticism, and trusting God with your reputation
• Remaining vigilant: How perfectionism tries to sneak back in
• Final encouragement for those stuck in performance

Resources 

• Beth Moore's Bible Study: Believing God
• TVC Recovery Ministry
• Follow Lauren

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Overcoming the Darkness by Nate Pickowicz

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