Lisa Bilyeu sits down with former FBI hostage negotiator, Chris Voss, a man who’s spent decades navigating the minds of some of the most dangerous and manipulative people on the planet—including terrorists, criminals, narcissists, and psychopaths. In this incredibly insightful conversation, Chris unpacks the emotional and psychological tools he’s developed to outsmart even the most challenging personalities.
Get ready to learn how to identify emotional triggers, use tactical empathy, and take control of high-stakes conversations—whether you’re facing a toxic boss, a manipulative partner, or just trying to stand your ground. Chris breaks down practical techniques like the illusion of control, the power of saying "no," and how simple questions can turn negotiations in your favor without raising alarm bells.
Plus, Lisa and Chris dive into the emotional side of negotiations: how to stay calm when you’re triggered, why compromise often leads to disappointment, and why practicing your own internal “chatter” can prepare you for any confrontation. If you’re ready to master difficult dynamics and claim back your power, this episode is packed with actionable tools you can start using today.
SHOWNOTES
00:00 "Using Negotiation Skills in Daily Life"
04:30 Using Passive Aggression for Control
06:42 Catching a Kidnapper with Questions
13:24 "Handling and Acknowledging Anger"
15:31 Flat Tone: Annoying Street Encounter
19:38 "Respect Drives Connection"
22:16 The Magic of Saying "You're Right"
24:58 "No Easy Way to Break Up"
27:37 Personal Dilemma and Perspective Shift
33:07 "Voice Tricks for Calm and Impact"
34:40 "Playful Attitude Beats Conflict"
39:36 Compromise: A Guaranteed Bummer?
42:11 Chasing Happiness: An Unpredictable Ride
45:08 "Dealing with the Mind's Chatter"
48:05 Cutting Ties with Toxic People
51:48 Negotiation Tips for Everyday Heroes
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