Is kink just about whips and chains? Is it always about sex? Is everyone who’s into kink working through some type of trauma? In today’s show, we’re diving into the science of BDSM and debunking common myths about it. We’ll unpack what kink really looks like in practice, how consent and trust are at its core, and what it is that really draws people to BDSM in the first place.

I am joined by Alicia Walker and Arielle Kuperberg. Alicia is an associate professor of sociology at Missouri State University and the author of The Secret Life of the Cheating Wife as well as Chasing Masculinity: Men, Validation, and Infidelity. Arielle is an associate professor of sociology at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County. Together, they are co-authors of the new book Bound by BDSM: Unexpected lessons for building a happier life.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

What are some of the biggest things people get wrong about kink and BDSM?
What might people get out of BDSM besides (or in addition to) sexual fulfillment?
How do people typically find their way into BDSM?
What’s the role of community in BDSM?
Why is kink more prevalent in among LGBTQ+ persons?

You can click here to order Alicia and Arielle’s new book.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors!

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Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

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