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4 Big Signs That a Relationship Won't Last and the Latest Science on Creating Love with Drs. Julie and John Gottman
Dhru Purohit Show
How to Overcome Contempt in a Conflict Conversation
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Defensiveness manifests as a victim mentality or counterattacks, making it difficult to improve relationships. Contempt, characterized by looking down on one's partner with disgust, can include sarcasm, mockery, or name-calling, and poses a severe threat to the relationship itself. Research indicates that the frequency of contemptuous remarks during a 15-minute conflict is not only predictive of relationship breakdown but also correlates with adverse health effects, including a weakened immune system. Stonewalling occurs when one partner shuts down during conversations, often due to experiencing overwhelming stress, signified by physiological responses like increased heart rate and shortness of breath. This defensive behavior is linked to a state of 'flooding' and signals the need for a break from the conversation. The four negative behaviors—criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling—are described as the
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