When Lenore Skenazy’s son was nine, he asked her repeatedly if she would let him have a solo adventure in their hometown of New York City. Her son had a specific plan for this adventure: he wanted her to take him somewhere new in the city and then let him find his own way home. Lenore took the leap of faith, and when her son burst into their apartment later, he was practically “levitating with pride and joy” at what he had accomplished.
Lenore then wrote an article in the New York Sun called “Why I Let My 9-Year-Old Ride the Subway Alone” — and a media firestorm ensued. We’ll let Lenore share more about that particular time, but she realized then how radical and important an idea it was for modern parents to “let go.”
In 2017, Jonathan Haidt, co-author of The Coddling of the American Mind reached out to Lenore with two others, all of whom shared concerns about the increasing fragility they’re seeing in young people in America, and the poor outcomes that follow. They went on to launch Let Grow, a non-profit organization that promotes childhood independence.
Lenore’s message is that parents can sometimes become compulsive about protecting children from every possible danger, but blind to the trade-offs: decreased independence, resilience, social skills, and creativity, and increased anxiety and depression.
But this message also has broader implications for our lives and our faith: while we often tend to try to micromanage everything with the mistaken belief that we can prevent anything bad from happening, deep faith can help us see that there’s Something Bigger going on — and we don’t always need to be in control.
We found Lenore to be delightful—she’s sharp, funny, and has profoundly important things to say for anyone interested in helping our next generations to be resilient and happy. We really hope you enjoy this conversation with Lenore Skenazy.
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