How to Deal with Flooding: The 3 Horsemen

Criticism is when we have a complaint, complaints are normal, but instead of owning our own problems, our own feelings, we assume that our perspective is the only valid accurate perspective./nDefensiveness is when we make excuses or worse, turn it around on our partner, not accepting any responsibility and definitely not validating what they're feeling./nWhen we get flooded, we can turn into either criticism or defensiveness. Criticism is when we have a complaint, complaints are normal, but instead of owning our own problems, our own feelings, we assume that our perspective is the only valid accurate perspective. Defensiveness is when we make excuses or worse, turn it around on our partner, not accepting any responsibility and definitely not validating what they're feeling. When we get flooded, we can turn into either criticism or defensiveness.

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