Struggles with Perception of God and Goodness Amidst Trauma

The speaker discusses how his perception of God was influenced by the abusive behavior of his father, leading him to struggle with the belief that God's plans for him might be good for God but not for himself. This internal battle stemmed from associating goodness with God's actions rather than understanding it as His inherent nature. The trauma of witnessing his father's brutality towards his mother as a child further solidified his belief that God might not be good if this is how believers act. The speaker discovered that true goodness comes from being connected to the source of goodness, realizing that God is intrinsically good despite the challenges he faced in reconciling his perception of God with the trauma he experienced.