Recognizing Red Flags Leads to Growth

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Identifying signs of an inward mindset, such as impatience, disdain, self-concern, or blame, signals a potential misalignment in self-narratives. Acknowledging these feelings, even in the absence of fully outward behavior, invites introspection and challenges the validity of personal stories. To initiate real mindset change, one must step outside of oneself and reconnect with the humanity of others. This requires moving beyond an internal focus on mindset, as genuine connections with others expose the complexity of their needs and experiences, thus leading to a broader and more accurate perspective.

Mitch Warner: Leadership and Self-Deception Mitch Warner is a managing partner of the Arbinger Institute. The Institute has authored three best-selling books and helps leaders transform their organizations by enabling the fundamental shift in mindset that leads to exceptional results. Now in its fourth edition, Leadership and Self-Deception: The Secret to Transforming Relationships & Unleashing Results*, is today one of the top fifty best-selling leadership books of all time. Shifting behavior in a sustainable way requires us to change our mindset. In this conversation, Mitch and I explore how self-deception gets in our way and how we can take the first step by seeing others as people. Key Points In many cases, we are the carriers of the very problems we are complaining about. We often resist this reality. We often assume we aren’t the cause of problems because of our good intentions. Mindset drives our behaviors and the effectiveness and influence of those behaviors. Seeing someone as less than a person causes us to see the world in a way that justifies our judgement. Too often, conflicts manifest as people provoking another’s behavior in order to justify themselves. Our own justification is an indicator that we may be wrong to being with. Viewing others as either better or worse than ourselves creates justification that prevents awareness and change. Get outside of yourself by meeting to learn about them. If the relationship has been strained, consider meeting to give. Resources Mentioned Leadership and Self-Deception: The Secret to Transforming Relationships & Unleashing Results* by The Arbinger Institute The Arbinger Institute Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes How to Compare Yourself to Others, with Mollie West Duffy (episode 582) Help Your Team Embrace Growth Mindset, with Eduardo Briceño (episode 644) The Way to Handle Oblivious Leadership, with Robert Sutton (episode 667) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.