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The Four Horsemen of Relationship Conflict: Defensiveness, Criticism, Contempt, and Stonewalling
Defensiveness is a common response to criticism, but it can be harmful to relationships. It involves making excuses, not taking responsibility, and invalidating your partner's feelings. When our heart rate spikes, our logical brain shuts down and we enter fight or flight mode, which can lead to the other two negative responses: contempt and stonewalling. Men are more likely to stonewall, which involves disconnecting from the conversation.