The first thing is, people can sometimes confuse what rigor is and what kindness is. Kindness doesn't mean just being unfailingly polite, or it can conflate the issue with i being non confrontational. One of the kindest things people do, they tell you the truth. Getting people in that mind set, sometimes in the most difficult situations. When it was really hard to stick to that standard. Ad i love to do both an example and anecdote, whatever. So maybe pick for each one.

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