The Crisis of Making Friends

Friendship networks are shrinking every seven years by losing about half of our friends. The average person hasn't made a new friend in the last five years, despite the desire to do so. Making new friends requires initiative and intentionality, not relying on organic connections. People who believe in luck for making friends tend to be lonelier, while those who see it as an effort are less lonely. Time scarcity and social anxiety are major barriers to making friends. People tend to underestimate how much others like them due to a cognitive bias known as the liking gap. Overcoming anxiety involves assuming that people like you and engaging with new people despite discomfort. Avoiding overt and covert behaviors is crucial in initiating friendships. For those with social anxiety, avoiding safety behaviors can lead to more engaging interactions and greater likability. Mutual fear of rejection often hinders the formation of friendships, as both parties may act defensively, misinterpreting each other's intentions.