Struggles with objectivity in relationships often stem from unresolved childhood trauma. Growing up in a chaotic environment with a neglectful parent figure can create a pattern where one may overlook red flags in adult relationships. The comfort of feeling understood may lead to idealizing partners despite negative behaviors. People may carry forward their childhood experiences, affecting their ability to recognize their worth and prioritize healthy relationship dynamics. Healing requires confronting these deep-seated issues to break the cycle of unhealthy attachments.
So many of us who grew up with trauma live as “divided selves” – longing for real love, but playing along to keep people around who DON’T want that – not with us, anyway – but who are happy to soak all our attention and time Iand of course, sex). Your ability to believe you can change how they feel by giving them all you've got – but never honestly finding out how THEY feel about you – is a classic ADULT manifestation of emotional neglect in childhood. And as long as those old wounds are driving you, you’re going to end up with same kind unreliable love that was what you had to settle for as a child. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is trying to flip the script on a partner who isn't "ready."
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