Avoidant attachment is characterized by a child's lack of engagement during reunion with their caregiver, often appearing indifferent or dismissive. This behavior arises from a history of rejection in caregiving, where the child learns that their expressions of distress are met with dismissal, leading to internalized feelings of unworthiness and isolation. The caregiver may communicate a message of rejection through neglect or shaming, making the child feel unsupported during times of need. Consequently, the child learns to suppress their feelings and rely solely on themselves for comfort and validation. This pattern establishes a foundation for adult relationships, suggesting that the impact of attachment styles can extend beyond childhood, challenging the notion that they are fixed throughout life. While early studies indicated a direct correlation between childhood and adult attachment styles, new research highlights greater complexity, indicating these styles may not be strictly categorical but rather fluid and subject to change.
Attachment theory is a foundation of modern psychology — a framework for understanding human relationships and how we connect other people.
But has social media taken this concept — grounded in decades of research — too far?
Scroll through Instagram or TikTok for too long, and you might think that if you have a certain attachment style, you're fundamentally unlovable — or that you need to steer clear of people who are avoidant, anxious or not secure enough.
Today, what we get wrong about attachment styles. Plus, the experiments that helped discover them in the first place ... and how a better understanding of attachment could help us to heal.
If you liked this episode, you'll love our episode on when to trust your gut instinct and when to ignore it.