In this episode, my guest is Dr. James Hollis, Ph.D., a Jungian psychoanalyst, renowned educator and author on finding and pursuing one’s unique purpose. Dr. Hollis is also an expert in the psychology of relationships and healing from trauma. We discuss how early family dynamics and social context create patterns of both adaptive and maladaptive behavior and internal narratives that, when examined, lead to better choices and a deeply fulfilling existence.
We discuss discovering your unique self-identity and purpose through specific practices of reflection, meditation and conversations with others. We also discuss self-perception and the evolution of roles within marriages, parent-child relationships, and work.
Throughout the episode, Dr. Hollis provides both basic knowledge and practical tools to help us assess ourselves and better understand who we are and what we really want in careers, relationships of all kinds, and society.
For show notes, including referenced articles and additional resources, please visit hubermanlab.com.
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Timestamps
00:00:00 Dr. James Hollis
00:02:14 Sponsors: Mateina, Joovv & BetterHelp
00:05:57 Self, Ego, Sense of Self
00:13:59 Unconscious Patterns, Blind Spots, Dreams; Psyche & Meaning
00:21:56 Second Half of Life, Purpose, Depression
00:25:37 Sponsor: AG1
00:27:08 Tool: Daily Reflection; Crisis
00:31:47 Families & Children, Permission & Burdens
00:37:27 Complex Identification, Self-Perception; Social Media & Borderline
00:41:55 Daily Stimulus Response, Listening to the Soul
00:45:40 Exiting Stimulus-Response, Loneliness, Burnout
00:51:19 Meditation & Perception, Reflection
00:54:58 Sponsor: Waking Up
00:56:15 Recognizing the “Shadow” & Adulthood
01:02:48 Socialization; Family & Life Journey
01:09:04 Relationships & “Otherness”, Standing Your Ground
01:15:51 Marriage, “Starter Marriages” & Evolution; Parenting
01:19:37 Shadow Issues, Success & External Reward, Personal Growth
01:27:59 Men, Alcohol, “Stoic Man”, Loneliness, Fear & Longing
01:37:33 Women & Men, Focused vs. Diffuse Awareness; Male Rite of Passage
01:44:31 Sacrifice, Relationships; Facing Fears
01:48:20 Therapy, “Abyss of the Self”, Repeating Patterns & Stories
01:55:17 Women, Career & Family, Partner Support; Redefining Roles
02:01:40 Pathology & Diagnosis, Internet
02:07:05 Life, Suffering & Accountability, “Swamplands” & Task
02:11:32 Abuse & Recovery of Self, Patience, Powerlessness
02:14:11 Living a Larger Life; “Shut Up, Suit Up, Show Up”
02:17:49 Life Stages; Despair & Integrity Conflict
02:25:00 Death, Ego, Mortality & Meaning
02:38:07 Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple Reviews, Sponsors, YouTube Feedback, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter
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