How to Be Charismatic

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Charismatic people have a perfect blend of warmth and competence that makes them magnetic. Most people have an imbalance, either being too warm or too competent, which affects how others perceive them. Those who lack both warmth and competence are in the 'danger zone' and are often dismissed or underestimated. Smart people often underestimate the importance of warmth cues and rely solely on their technical skills, which leaves others suspicious of their competence. People in the 'danger zone' are often described as contemptible because they lack likability and competence.

Note: This is a rebroadcast.

Charisma can make everything smoother, easier, and more exciting in life. It’s a quality that makes people want to listen to you, to adopt your ideas, to be with you.

While what creates charisma can seem like a mystery, my guest today, communications expert Vanessa Van Edwards, says it comes down to possessing an optimal balance of two qualities: warmth and competence.

The problem is, even if you have warmth and competence, you may not be good at signaling these qualities to others. In Vanessa’s work, she’s created a research-backed encyclopedia of these influential signals, and she shares how to offer them in her book
Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication. Today on the show, Vanessa and I discuss some of the verbal and nonverbal social cues that make you attractive to others, and keep you out of what she calls the “danger zone.” She explains what the distance between your earlobes and shoulders has to do with looking competent, how using uptalk and vocal fry sabotages your ability to convey power, how to put more warmth in your voice, how to trigger the right response with a dating profile picture, and more.