The Cost of Resilience and Self-Awareness

The cost of quickly adopting an independent and resilient narrative includes an inability to fully know oneself. This can lead to a focus on being the strong and resilient one while avoiding exploring the wounded and vulnerable aspects. The speaker spent much time fixing and solving things, especially for their mother, tying their own well-being to her safety and happiness. This constant need for peacemaking and avoidance of negative emotions hindered the speaker from fully experiencing and acknowledging their own needs, even in moments of requiring help. The speaker realized that the emphasis on self-sufficiency and resilience, though seen as strengths, can be detrimental when overused, leading them to miss out on understanding their true wants and needs. By avoiding painful emotions, the speaker also inadvertently closed off opportunities to explore their internal architecture and fully understand both their pain and pleasure points in life.