Through deep meditation, the speaker discovered repressed trauma related to a near death experience at six years old, which caused PTSD. Despite not finding this through therapy or counseling, meditation led the speaker to uncover emotional patterns from childhood experiences, such as a need for someone to save them due to falling off a boat at two years old. By delving into emotions and acknowledging these patterns, the speaker gained awareness and stopped repeating harmful behaviors in search for external salvation.

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