Embrace Emotions, Unhook From Them

Goals come in different flavors--and they don’t all work same way. By understanding the differences, we can uncover ways in which our goals may be a bit fuzzy, lacking support, in conflict with one another, or even just out of balance. That insight can help us fine-tune our efforts, helping us create lives that are healthier, happier, more productive, and more meaningful!

Key Takeaways:

• Make sure that your emotional and outcome goals are supported by specific behavioral goals.
• There’s an important difference between emotional goals (how we want to feel in our lives) and the desire to simply “feel better right now,” which can often lead us to act in ways that thwart our progress toward our actual goals.
• It can be hard to stay motivated by behavioral goals alone, so try to be clear on what emotional or outcome goals your behavioral goals are in service of. 
• We also want to check our goals for alignment with our other goals and our values and adjust as necessary. 

Lab Experiment:

Make a list of your current goals, objectives and aspirations and sort them into behavioral, emotional, and outcome goals.

• Does one category dominate your list? 
• If most of your goals are behavioral, what sort of outcome or emotional goals will these behaviors lead to?
• Are your emotional goals supported by behavioral goals?
• Are your outcome goals supported by specific behavioral goals? 
• Why do these outcomes matter to you; how do they align with your values and long-term vision?
• What emotional goals might your outcome goals serve? 
• Do you have goals that are in conflict with one another? Can these two goals co-exist?
• If not, how do your values suggest you ought to proceed?
• Do your goals reflect the things you care about most? Do they bring you closer to a life that is aligned with your deepest values? 

Mentioned

Weighless Program for sustainable weight management

Overcoming stress and emotional eating

Happiness Trap by Russ Harris

Ep #146: Sense foraging: How to do an end run around the DMN

Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event?  Learn more.