3min snip

The Psychology of your 20s cover image

140. The psychology of envy

The Psychology of your 20s

INSIGHT

The Psychology of Envy

Questions:

  • Why do we tend to perceive our own lives as flawed while viewing others' lives as perfect?
  • How does social media contribute to feelings of envy and inadequacy?
  • Why do we sometimes "hate-follow" people whose content triggers negative emotions?

Summary:

  • We see our own imperfections but not others', leading to envy. Social media exacerbates this by showcasing only positive aspects of others' lives.
  • We envy what we desire, focusing on what we lack and believing that possessing it would improve our lives.
  • Envy stems from feelings of inferiority and frustration mirrored by others' success, making it painful.
  • We sometimes "hate-follow" people on social media even though their content makes us feel bad about ourselves.
  • These individuals seem to have perfect lives, triggering insecurity and judgment instead of admiration.
  • This envy is often disguised because expressing resentment towards others' success is socially unacceptable.
  • The pain of envy is amplified by our insecurity.
  • Envy is not simply about the other person's possessions but about our feelings of lacking them.

Maxim: Envy is a mirror reflecting our own insecurities, magnified by the curated perfection of others' lives.

Elaboration: The snip discusses the psychological roots of envy, highlighting how our perception of others' seemingly perfect lives, especially on social media, amplifies our own feelings of inadequacy and lack. It explains that envy isn't simply desiring what others have but a deeper insecurity fueled by the belief that those possessions or qualities are the key to a better life. The act of "hate-following" exemplifies this, where we continually expose ourselves to triggers of envy despite knowing the negative emotional impact. This behavior underscores the complex relationship between envy, social comparison, and self-esteem.

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