2min snip

The Art of Manliness cover image

How to Resist Group Anxiety and Become a Differentiated Self

The Art of Manliness

NOTE

5 False Needs Causing Chronic Anxiety

Chronic anxiety often stems from unmet false needs, which are perceived necessities that do not actually contribute to survival or well-being. The first false need is control, where individuals feel compelled to manipulate situations or people when they lack control. The second is perfectionism, which leads to extreme reactions to minor mistakes, amplifying feelings of failure and inadequacy. The need to always have the answer is the third false need, particularly prevalent among men who struggle to admit lack of knowledge, even in unrelated discussions. The fourth is the desire to be there for others in times of need, which becomes problematic when individuals confuse their need to be needed with genuine support for others. Lastly, people-pleasing emerges as a false need when the motivation to help others overshadows personal boundaries, leading to anxiety when those boundaries are threatened.

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