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On Purpose with Jay Shetty cover image

Dr. Aliza Pressman: How to Avoid Your Parents Mistakes & Raise Confident and Resilient Kids

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

NOTE

Navigating the Tug-of-War in Parent-Child Relationships

Human development often involves a complex interplay between parental guidance and adolescent rebellion. Young people may reject the perspectives and values of their parents during critical developmental periods, often from ages 11 to 21, where their brains are still maturing, particularly the prefrontal cortex. This phase can lead to a perception of parents as overly restrictive or incorrect, despite the parents having good intentions. Eventually, as young adults reflect back, they may come to appreciate their parents' wisdom, recognizing that the rebellion was a natural part of their growth. For parents, this dynamic can be challenging, as they may feel rejected during their child's push for autonomy. There needs to be a balance of connection amidst tension, as these struggles foster independence and motivate personal growth. The experience suggests that periods of conflict are essential for young people to develop the self-assurance needed to navigate the world independently. Ultimately, the journey reflects a universal experience of transitioning from dependence to autonomy, underlined by developmental needs for both rejection and connection.

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