Negative events in couple relationships are inevitable and can lead to the zygotic effect, where unprocessed negative events are remembered and rehearsed repeatedly. Attuned processing and closure of negative emotional events with a partner help in vaguely remembering the event and making it insignificant, while dismissing and avoiding processing can lead to the event festering and being triggered again.
In a special episode of No Stupid Questions, Angela Duckworth and Mike Maughan talk about unfinished tasks, recurring arguments, and Irish goodbyes.
- RESOURCES:
- "Life and Work of the Psychologist Bluma Zeigarnik," by M. Marco (Neurosciences and History, 2018).
- "Why We Need Answers," by Maria Konnikova (The New Yorker, 2013).
- "Consider It Done! Plan Making Can Eliminate the Cognitive Effects of Unfulfilled Goals," by E. J. Masicampo and Roy Baumeister (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2011).
- The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples, by John Gottman (2011).
- "'Let Me Dream On!' Anticipatory Emotions and Preference for Timing in Lotteries," by Martin Kocher, Michal Krawczyk, and Frans van Winden (Tinbergen Institute Discussion Paper, 2009).
- "Explaining Away: A Model of Affective Adaptation," by Timothy Wilson and Daniel Gilbert (Perspectives on Psychological Science, 2008).
- "On Finished and Unfinished Tasks," by Bluma Zeigarnik (A Source Book of Gestalt Psychology, 1938).