Unresolved childhood wounds can lead to patterns of seeking unreliable love in adulthood. Acknowledging the impact of early relationships, such as lack of a fatherly figure and feelings of jealousy among family dynamics, is crucial. Experiencing bullying and poor self-esteem can further distort one's perception of self-worth in romantic pursuits. The belief that being noticed or desired by men equates to value can arise from such insecurities, indicating a need for deeper emotional healing to break these cycles and foster healthier connections.
So many of us who grew up with trauma live as “divided selves” – longing for real love, but playing along to keep people around who DON’T want that – not with us, anyway – but who are happy to soak all our attention and time Iand of course, sex). Your ability to believe you can change how they feel by giving them all you've got – but never honestly finding out how THEY feel about you – is a classic ADULT manifestation of emotional neglect in childhood. And as long as those old wounds are driving you, you’re going to end up with same kind unreliable love that was what you had to settle for as a child. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who is trying to flip the script on a partner who isn't "ready."
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