Always trying for balance between Appreciating Life and Criticizing the World

The speaker expresses their enjoyment of being alive and their affection for life. However, they also have a negative mindset and believe that things are messed up in the world. They strive to find the right balance in their writing, to portray both the beauty of the world and its cruelty. They haven't achieved this aspiration yet, but believe in the idea of failing better. Success and recognition alleviate some of their anxiety, but they find the essence of the writing process to be an interesting cycle.

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