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Esther Perel Sets The Record Straight on Relationship Myths. Do THIS if You Want Your Relationship To Last Forever!
The School of Greatness
Embrace Ambivalence as the Essence of Adult Love
Unconditional love is a myth; adult love inherently involves ambivalence and contradictory feelings. This ambivalence exists in all relationships, including with family and friends, necessitating continuous negotiation between feelings of love and hate, excitement and fear, and other opposing emotions. Evaluating relationships is a normal part of maturity. The romantic ideal of 'the one and only' or soulmates is misleading—one enters a relationship with a chosen partner, contributing to its growth without the expectation of being fulfilled entirely by them. Happiness should not be the ultimate pursuit in relationships; instead, one should focus on integrity, depth, joy, aliveness, connection, and growth. These pursuits lead to authentic happiness, not merely chasing happiness itself. Additionally, the concept of 'compersion'—feeling joy for another's happiness—is crucial, extending beyond polyamorous relationships, and highlights the value of supporting others' growth and success as part of loving them.
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