Embrace Ambivalence as the Essence of Adult Love

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Unconditional love is a myth; adult love inherently involves ambivalence and contradictory feelings. This ambivalence exists in all relationships, including with family and friends, necessitating continuous negotiation between feelings of love and hate, excitement and fear, and other opposing emotions. Evaluating relationships is a normal part of maturity. The romantic ideal of 'the one and only' or soulmates is misleading—one enters a relationship with a chosen partner, contributing to its growth without the expectation of being fulfilled entirely by them. Happiness should not be the ultimate pursuit in relationships; instead, one should focus on integrity, depth, joy, aliveness, connection, and growth. These pursuits lead to authentic happiness, not merely chasing happiness itself. Additionally, the concept of 'compersion'—feeling joy for another's happiness—is crucial, extending beyond polyamorous relationships, and highlights the value of supporting others' growth and success as part of loving them.

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I'm thrilled to welcome back the brilliant Esther Perel to the School of Greatness! With nearly four decades of experience as a therapist, Esther shares her profound insights on relationships in our ever-changing world. We dive deep into how the pandemic has affected partnerships, debunk common myths about love, and explore the delicate balance between togetherness and independence. Esther's wisdom on jealousy, desire, and the evolution of marriage is truly eye-opening. Whether you're single, dating, or in a long-term commitment, this conversation offers invaluable perspectives on creating and maintaining healthy relationships. Get ready for a masterclass in understanding the complexities of modern love and connection!

In this episode you will learn

How disasters like the pandemic act as relationship accelerators
The myths of "the one and only" and unconditional love in relationships
The importance of balancing togetherness and separateness in partnerships
How to set yourself up for healthier relationships from the start
The role of jealousy in relationships and when it can be positive
The four main ways people feel most drawn to their partners
How economic independence changed the landscape of marriage and divorce
The value of involving your social circle when dating someone new

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https://link.chtbl.com/1501-pod