Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves, healing us even if others don't notice. It may seem counterintuitive, but forgiving others is actually a selfish act that benefits us. This concept of selflessness being the most selfish thing you can do aligns with the paradoxical logic of the universe. It taps into our instinct for group survival and has evolutionary roots. Forgiveness also involves accepting the apology we may never receive and finding closure without waiting for others to go first. Another crucial insight is not to compare our lives with others and imitate their idea of success. Instead, we should define our own measure of success and appreciate different perspectives, such as the Amish community's focus on family and shared meals as the ultimate success criteria.