How to Create Deep, Secure Bonds with Kids, Family & Friends | Attachment Expert Eli Harwood
Good Life Project
00:00
Embrace Messiness for True Connection
Individuals with an avoidant attachment style often believe that by withholding their emotions and needs, they protect their loved ones from burdens. This perspective paradoxically hinders intimacy, as partners crave the authenticity and vulnerability that define close relationships. The underlying message for avoidant individuals is that showing their emotional 'messiness' is a strength that fosters genuine closeness. However, early childhood experiences, typically formed between 12 and 18 months, lead to confusion in understanding how to develop secure, intimate bonds later in life. Recognizing that vulnerability is actually an avenue to connection is crucial for overcoming the barriers imposed by an avoidant attachment style.
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