Shardcast: The Brandon Sanderson Podcast

"Shut up, Wax. Not everyone has to go out and like, vigilante justice fight crime with their Allomancy. Maybe some people like to juggle, all right?" In which my commentary on these chapters contains significantly more jingle bells than one might have expected. What can I say? The kitten wants what the kitten wants. And usually that’s jingly feather toys. Anyway, this week on Splintercast, Feather gets confused about gondolas. Wax continues to be an uptight old man who needs to chill, and Wayne perfectly embodies the struggle of the older generations against all those dang millennials and their cell phones and twitter birds and not immediately payin’ off all their student loans. Good times. Also strange coins arise from strange beggars, and I immediately pick up on the fact that there’s shenanigans going on there. I love it when I pick up on shenanigans. It makes me feel competent. And just when you think you’re safe from me gushing over Steris, I’ll smack you with a hard dose for this week. I also hone in on a cameo from a major character... only to completely be unable to figure out who she is. (Sorry Khriss. I know better now.)

"[Sputters] I don’t... even have words for what I am feeling about this development at the moment." An episode that has it all. To quote myself: we’ve got some firefight, some cutes, some canoodling, deep snogs. Steris Harms continues to be perfect while Wayne continues to be on my bad list. We see some devices which double as plot devices for the first time. Yeeeeeeee. Also. I can’t figure out how the heck one is supposed to pronounce the word “Scadrial.” [SKAY-dree-ul]? [SKAD-ree-ul]? We just don’t know. Your weekly dose of Steris fangirling contained within, as well as some discussion of cosmere books in other languages. Because those are just cool. In other news, keep an eye on the news box here this week, because you’ll soon see another non-Splintercast post from me! Oooh, what could it be? It’s a surprise.

"Yeah, you guys only thought I was going to be reacting to the book. You didn’t know you actually signed up for ‘Steris Appreciation Podcast 2016.’ Here we go.[/i] This week, featuring special guest star: my kitten who loves to sniff the microphone while she’s purring and interrupt me. She’s smol. And naughty. And I love her. Anyway, this week on Splintercast, Wayne talks to a jealous god. Feather realizes what a ridiculous shipper she is. Theories are put forth regarding Wax’s sister. Also, everyone is now evil. (Except for Steris, of course.) Sorry I don’t make the rules. All villains. All the time. Finally, chapter six leaves off with a truly unfair cliffhanger, which means I was suffering as much as the rest of you in waiting for the next episode. Dang Brandon, you just can’t do these kinds of things to us!

"Okay. Nothing’s going wrong. Okay? It’s the first chapter of this book. Everything can still go smooth! We don’t need conflict yet. We can have cutes. Alright? Brandon, I’m like, staring at you across the room. Don’t do this to me. Just give me a good, nice wedding." And now in earnest, the book begins. Y’all knew I was gonna get rekt over these opening chapters, right? Steris is my daughter and I love her and she deserves eternal happiness. Unfortunately for her, she’s in a novel written by Brandon Sanderson, which means everything has to go wrong. Of course. In other news, Wayne drops immensely on my list of favorite characters and I also pretend that I know something about the cosmere only to figure out I was dead wrong. Ha. Another day in the life of Feather reading these books right? Upvotes and comments are always utterly appreciated!

"Ha. You're not--You're not gonna follow the rules, Wax. Come on. Let's just go. Let's--Let's just do this. I'm curious, you're curious. Let's go. Out the window with you." Daaaaang, Feather. Back at it again with that Splintercast! Though I guess it probably doesn’t feel like we're "back at it" since Shadows of Self just wrapped up last week. Regardless! Here we go again. Now we're getting into Bands of Mourning and I hope you all are as excited for this as I am. We're in for a wild ride, so strap in. Sorry for audio quality being bad in this episode. Apparently Audacity decided that I wanted to use the crappy laptop microphone to record rather than the spiffy USB microphone that I had plugged in but okay, Audacity, whatever. Hopefully I caught it on the rest of these episodes because honestly, laptop microphone is terrible. Anyway, please enjoy! Leave comments and responses below if you are so inclined!

"I'm feeling it. I'm feeling this theory, guys. It would be so horrible. It would be so awful. It would wreck Wax so bad. And that's exactly why it should happen. Am I a bad person? Yeah. Yeah I am. I'm sorry... But I'm really excited." So, it seems that I missed a week, what with me travelling to meet Brandon and also happening to be rather supreme garbage. So, to make it up to you, TWO EPISODE END OF BOOK EXTRAVAGANZA. We're finishing this book in one long binge of two episodes. Let's do it, right? Anyway, in this episode, we get all the way through to the end. There's plot twists guessed, there's plot twists which throw me to the floor, there's threats to Brandon on behalf of Steris's well-being. And quite a bit of me cackling maniacally as horrible things happen to good characters. I'm entirely too gleeful about terrible things. Am I sorry about it? Probably not. Next week will start Bands of Mourning, which I know you're all excited about me reading, right? Also, hearing poor Past!Feather at the beginning of Episode Eight, talking about getting these episodes out on time. Having recorded them in October. Welp. We're getting them done now. She had too much faith in me. I’m sorry Past!Feather, I will try to live up to your expectations better. So, come back next week and we'll kick off Splintercast Reads The Bands of Mourning... and then on to even more interesting and fascinating things after that!

"I'm feeling it. I'm feeling this theory, guys. It would be so horrible. It would be so awful. It would wreck Wax so bad. And that's exactly why it should happen. Am I a bad person? Yeah. Yeah I am. I'm sorry... But I'm really excited." So, it seems that I missed a week, what with me travelling to meet Brandon and also happening to be rather supreme garbage. So, to make it up to you, TWO EPISODE END OF BOOK EXTRAVAGANZA. We're finishing this book in one long binge of two episodes. Let's do it, right? Anyway, in this episode, we get all the way through to the end. There's plot twists guessed, there's plot twists which throw me to the floor, there's threats to Brandon on behalf of Steris's well-being. And quite a bit of me cackling maniacally as horrible things happen to good characters. I'm entirely too gleeful about terrible things. Am I sorry about it? Probably not. Next week will start Bands of Mourning, which I know you're all excited about me reading, right? Also, hearing poor Past!Feather at the beginning of Episode Eight, talking about getting these episodes out on time. Having recorded them in October. Welp. We're getting them done now. She had too much faith in me. I’m sorry Past!Feather, I will try to live up to your expectations better. So, come back next week and we'll kick off Splintercast Reads The Bands of Mourning... and then on to even more interesting and fascinating things after that!

Gosh dangit, Brandon. Stop killing people! You’re as bad as Bleeder is! In which Current!Feather stays up late after working her two jobs full-time and part-time back to back to get this episode edited… only to listen to Past!Feather in the recording staying up late after working her two jobs back to back in order to read. Well. Some things never change. Past!Feather also seems rather attached to her incorrect pronunciations in this chapter. eh-LEND and eh-LEND-el, rather than EL-end and EL-en-del. Little does she know that in a few months, she’ll start reading The Final Empire to her housemate and try to change those to a more common and rational pronunciation after all these years. Oh Past!Feather, how little you know. We also appear to be nearing the end of the book, yet a clear avalanche is nowhere to be found. How mysterious. Does this bode ill for our intrepid heroes and what effect will this have on your Splintercaster’s delicate emotional balance when it does come? Let’s be real, it’ll probably be devastating for me and wildly entertaining for all of you. Enjoy the episode, everyone! And as always, comments and reactions are greatly appreciated.

On this episode, Wax and the crew are deep within their investigation of our mysterious antagonist, and trying to piece together the reasons behind her enigmatic actions. Meanwhile, the police are getting rather tired of putting up with all the Dawnshot’s antics, which honestly, seems pretty valid considering how much trouble he can be. I also happen to have some microphone issues because of course something has to go wrong, huh? Soothing parlors, Faceless Immortals, and belching contests await! Feel free to leave comments and reactions below!

“Whaaaat? I’m so lost. What’s going on? Brandon, you’re yanking me! I’m getting yanked over here!” After a brief break to let everyone gnaw on their new copies of Bands of Mourning for a little while, Splintercast returns to keep going through Shadows of Self! A quick reminder that there are to be no spoilers for Bands of Mourning or Secret History discussed in the comments, even under spoiler tags, until the spoiler ban is lifted. Thank you! We left Wax at a fancy party in the middle of a very interesting conversation, while Wayne and Marasi attempt to lend support. And then a new kind of support comes in, for which I am incredibly excited. Have you guys caught on yet that I love references to the original series? Because I definitely do. Please enjoy, and tell me what you think in the comments down below!