What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

If your kids are home more right now, chances are they're gaming more. Part of that is just going with the flow of this moment. But as any mom whose kid can game all afternoon will tell you, the problem comes when it's time to turn them OFF. There's never a good time (and no, your kids aren't lying; the games are designed that way). And there's no question video games are addicting- in a recent study, 6 out of 10 teens said they'd made their own attempts, apart from parental influence, to cut back.But the evidence linking gaming to hyperactivity, aggression, and worse grades at school is more tenuous than you might think. And there are distinct, significant advantages that gaming can give kids. In this episode, we discuss the good and bad of gaming, plus how to set household policies around gaming that will make everyone happy.Here are links to research and other writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:Adam Lobel et al: Video Gaming and Children’s Psychosocial Wellbeing: A Longitudinal StudyDawnthea Price Lisco for Slate Parenting: Decide What Age-Appropriate Means To YouScience Daily: Video game ratings work, if you use themScience Daily: School, health and behavior suffer when children have TV, video games in bedroomPew Research Center: Teens hold mixed opinions about whether they spend too much time in front of screens … Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Each week Margaret or Amy answers a listener's most pressing question.This week Margaret answers the question, "How Do I Get My Kids to Help Keep the House Clean?"Submit your questions to questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Does self-care mean ice cream? Facial serums? Leaning in? Saying no? Taking yoga? According to our listeners, it means all of the above.In this episode, we talk both about how to arrive at your personal definition of self-care, and how to prioritize it, so your self-care practice will be there for you when you need it. You can't just meditate extra on the day your kids both get the stomach flu. Self-care is a program you kind of need to have running in the background all the time.Here are links to research and other writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:Jacqueline Baker for The Mighty: When Self-Care Means Saying 'No'Tim Herrera for NYT Smarter Living: How to Make ‘Self-Care’ Actually Feel Like Self-CareJenny Odell: How To Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention EconomyDeanna Zandt: The Unspoken Complexity of 'Self-Care'Claire Zulkey for Romper: The Hardest Thing To Do Is 'Less' Of All That Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Each week Amy or Margaret answers a listener question.This week Amy answers: "How do I get Grandma to stop plopping the kids in front of screens?" Submit your question- we might answer yours next! questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In-law relationships are close by design, not by choice. No wonder they're complicated. We heard from listeners who have fantastic in-laws, and others for whom no contact at all is the only option.In this episode, we discuss whether mothers-in-law, in particular, get a bad rap how many sit-downs you're allowed to have ever (spoiler alert: three) how to operate from a standpoint of maximum available generosity how to "watch your ratios" to improve your relationship with your spouse's parents Here are links to research and other writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:Madeleine A. Fugère Ph.D. for Psychology Today: Why You and Your Mother-in-Law May Not Get AlongKaren L. Fingerman, Megan Gilligan, Laura VanderDrift, and Lindsay Pitzer: In-law Relationships Before and After MarriageMargarita Tartakovsky for Psych Central: How Healthy Couples Deal with Their In-LawsThe Naked Marriage Podcast: Healthy Boundaries with In-Laws Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Each week Amy or Margaret answers a listener question.This week Margaret tackles the question, "Should I take my child to a funeral?"Submit your question- we might answer yours next! questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There are times when we say "Where did this kid come from?!" and it's totally exciting, like: I'm kind of a shy person, and my kid can talk to anyone. I am completely uncoordinated, and my kid's on the all-state gymnastics team.Then there are the times when perceiving our kids as nothing like us can make us apprehensive, as in: I am the most outgoing person in the world, and my kid won't even make eye contact. I loved being on the softball team, and my kid cries if she strikes out.As parents, we can get a little stuck on figuring out how to close that gap, by clamping down on the things that feel unfamiliar, trying to change the ways our kids are differently wired so that their lives will be easier (as in, more like our own). But we risk missing the kid that's there in front of us while we try to parent the kid we thought we were going to have.In this episode, we talk about how to be okay with that gap, rather than wishing it away, and how to support our kids' dreams even when they slightly baffle us.We also discuss the excellent book Far From The Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity, in which Andrew Solomon tells the stories of parents who not only learn to deal with their exceptional children, but also find profound meaning in doing so.We're going to be okay. So are they.Here are links to other writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:Associated Press: Non-athletic parents may have best advantage with sports-minded kidsJulia Ries for Family Education: My Kid is Nothing Like MeErin Zammett Ruddy for Real Simple: How to Parent a Kid Who's Nothing Like Youand for an opposite point of view, this episode of our own podcast: What To Do When They're Just Like You Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Each week Amy or Margaret answers one listener's question.This week Amy answers a question from a woman who is preparing for a family move and wants to know how to explain it to her four-year-old.Submit your questions to: questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In a world where kids get big praise for hitting their developmental milestones ahead of schedule- he sat up before six months! She was talking in sentences before her second birthday!- there are still times and places to let kids be little. Letting kids be little means maybe they are wiggly worms when you'd like them to be sitting still. Letting kids be little means letting them come back and touch base with you, and then leave, and come back, and then leave, and come back.Letting kids be little means letting them still have those things that the world says they’re too big for. It means encouraging them to do and to have what they love, even if it isn't cool.Here’s how we try to let our kids be little, and how it has made our kids’ lives (and ours) more joyful.We find that we have the most fun in our families when we're the silliest-and when we let the kids be the littlest.Here are links to research and other writing we discuss in this episode:Dr. Ned Hallowell for Parents League: Protecting ChildhoodMeredith Ethington for Scary Mommy: I Finally Get What They Mean By ‘Let Them Be Little’Dr. Perri Klass for The New York Times: Offering Kids a Taste of Alcohol Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Each week Amy or Margaret answers a listener question.This week Margaret tackles the question, "Should I try to put a stop to my kids' constant potty talk?"Submit your question- we might answer yours next! questions@whatfreshhellpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices