What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

We want to build a family that feels close and connected, but how do we know when the boundaries in our relationships are too porous? Here's what family enmeshment means, what it looks like, and how to look for signs of enmeshment in our relationships with our kids. Amy and Margaret discuss: The family systems theory and how it relates to enmeshment How clear boundaries create safety in relationships How enmeshment in family dynamics affects stress tolerability Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Melissa Porrey for VeryWell: What Is Enmeshment, and How Do You Set Boundaries? Sharon Martin, for Psych Central: The Enmeshed Family System: What It Is and How to Break Free Jesse L. Coe et. al for Journal of Family Psychology: Family Cohesion and Enmeshment Moderate Associations between Maternal Relationship Instability and Children’s Externalizing Problems Our Fresh Take with Gabor Maté and Gordon Neufeld, authors of Hold On to Your Kids: WHY PARENTS NEED TO MATTER MORE THAN PEERS We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, cognitive labor, emotional labor, mental load, second shift, family meeting, partners, marriage, spouse, relationships, couples, enmeshment, family enmeshment Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This month's Deep Dive series is all about how much fun we are—or aren't—having while raising our kids. Listen to the whole playlist on Spotify. The world wants us to believe that having kids will bring us untold happiness. It's a love you've never known! Your life will never be the same! The reality is a little more complicated, and that can be quite confusing. As psychologist Jean Twenge points out, "Parents might believe that it's their fault when the transition to parenthood is difficult, rather than seeing it as something that everyone experiences."So: does having kids make us happy? Is that even the right question? Is it supposed to? Are the benefits that come from parenting different, and perhaps larger, than happiness?Here are links to some writing and studies on the topic that we discuss in this episode:  Paul Bloom for The Atlantic: What Becoming a Parent Really Does to Your Happiness Dan Kahneman et al: A survey method for characterizing daily life experience: the day reconstruction method Roudi Nazarina Roy et al: Effects of Expected and Perceived Division of Childcare and Household Labor on Mother’s Relationship Satisfaction during Their Transition to Parenthood E.E. LeMasters: Parenthood as Crisis M. Luhmann et al: Subjective well-being and adaptation to life events: A meta-analysis.  Jay Belsky et al: Patterns of Marital Change across the Transition to Parenthood: Pregnancy to Three Years Postpartum Jean M. Twenge et al: Parenthood and Marital Satisfaction: A Meta-Analytic Review Rainer Maria Rilke: “Go To The Limits of Your Longing” We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, parental stress, emotions, kids emotions, parent emotions, uncertainty, fun with kids, fun parenting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How can moms feel empowered to make progress towards their personal and professional goals? Jenny Wood, author of the new book WILD COURAGE, offers tips for applying courage in your daily life, balancing personal ambitions with family responsibilities, and setting healthy boundaries.In her 18 years at Google, Jenny Wood grew from entry-level to executive. Jenny’s writing has been featured in Harvard Business Review, Entrepreneur, Inc., and Forbes. Jenny and Margaret discuss: The nine negative adjectives women are often labeled as and how Jenny flips them in her book How to differentiate between the "truths" and the "tales" you tell yourself about a situation The very small ways you can start to exhibit courage in your everyday life Here's where you can find Jenny: www.itsjennywood.com @itsjennywood on IG and @jennyilles on LinkedIn Buy WILD COURAGE: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593717646 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Does your quality time with your spouse sometimes/always devolve into discussions about finances, kids, or future plans? Here's how focused weekly meetings—both for our partnerships and for our families—can strengthen, deepen, and save the sanity of our relationships.Amy and Margaret discuss: How marriage/family check-ins improve the day-to-day health of relationships Best practices for successful marriage/family check-ins How they tailor their own marriage/family check-ins to work for them Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: MARRIAGE MEETINGS FOR LASTING LOVE by Marcia Naomi Berger Brett and Kate McKay for Art of Manliness: How and Why to Hold a Weekly Marriage Meeting Julia Ries for Self: Scheduling a Weekly ‘House Meeting’ With My Partner Changed My Damn Life Jo Piazza for Bustle: The HR-ification Of Marriage We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, cognitive labor, emotional labor, mental load, second shift, family meeting, marriage meeting, family check-in, marriage check-in, relationship check-in, partners, marriage, spouse, relationships, couples Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This month's Deep Dive series is about parenting through uncertainty. Listen to all of the episodes in the series with this Spotify playlist.“Information overload” is defined as the tipping point when the input of information exceeds an individual’s capacity to process it all. When we begin to feel overwhelmed and stressed by the amount of information that is available, we can end up feeling more stressed and overwhelmed than knowledgeable.For parents, the urge to find certainty through online research—only to end up feeling even less certain—is particularly common. How can we make the constant availability of information, useful and otherwise, work for us rather than against?Amy and Margaret discuss: How "information overload" can reduce decision-making abilities Whether obsessive internet searching is the result, or cause, of low self-confidence in parents How to know your limits, and then set them Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Terese Glatz and Melissa A. Lippold. “Is more information always better? Associations among parents’ online information searching, information overload, and self-efficacy.” International Journal of Behavioral Development. Jessica Runberg for The Washington Post: Is crowdsourced parenting eroding confidence? Cara Goodwin for Psychology Today: New Study: Information Overload for Parents We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, parental stress, kids stress, stress, news, current events, world affairs, emotions, kids emotions, parent emotions, uncertainty Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Women take on the lion's share of housework in heterosexual partnerships, and that gap in labor becomes a chasm once a child is born. Once Mom is the default parent, it becomes very difficult to even out the distribution of housework and parenting more equally.Mary Catherine Starr, author of the new book MAMA NEEDS A MINUTE, has renegotiated the distribution of labor in her own marriage post-kids and has tips for how other women can do the same.Mary Catherine Starr is an artist, graphic designer, and author. Her hugely popular Instagram account @momlife_comics explores motherhood, marriage, and the double standards of parenting.Mary Catherine and Amy discuss: What inspired Mary Catherine to start Mom Life Comics Why women usually become the default parent as soon as a baby is born Why Mary Catherine's cartoons help women explain the mental load to their partners Here's where you can find Mary Catherine: https://www.marycatherinestarr.com/ @momlife_comics on IG marycatherinestarr.substack.com Buy MAMA NEEDS A MINUTE: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781797226866 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, cognitive labor, emotional labor, mental load, second shift Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As moms, it feels like we're always crunched for time without a moment to ourselves in a given day. And that really takes its toll on our mental health. Here are some tips for getting more "time affluence" in your day—and no, it's not about being more productive! Time affluence is about structuring your to-do list so it feels more manageable and working time for yourself into the fabric of your day-to-day so that you're not going months without any me-time.Margaret and Amy discuss: The difference between "time famine" and "time poverty" Why modern conveniences haven't given us more leisure time What studies show about the relationship between time affluence and happiness Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Wikipedia: Time Affluence Ross Bruch for Brown, Brothers, & Harriman Law Firm blog: The Value of Time: Understanding and Maximizing Time Affluence Barnaby Lashbrooke for Forbes: This is the Key to Achieving Time Affluence Jermaine Archer's TEDTalk: "A Matter of Time" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, time management, time hacks, life hacks, time affluence, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This month's Deep Dive series is about parenting through uncertainty. Listen to all of the episodes in the series with this Spotify playlist.How do we prepare for a future that isn’t clear? How do we prepare our kids for their future when what that might look like is also unclear? Uncertainty is an unavoidable part of the parenting journey, but in this episode we’re talking about those really uncertain times: the “this might be nothing, but we’d like to run more tests” times. The “we actually aren’t sure what’s happening here” times. The "this could really go either way" moments in our lives.In this episode we discuss: why parenting through uncertainty is so hard how these times have played out in our own lives why “just try not to think about it!” is terrible advice  why the things we do to reduce our uncertainty can sometimes backfire Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:  Mark Freeston et al: Towards a model of uncertainty distress in the context of Coronavirus (Covid-19) Nabi Nazari and Mark Griffiths: Using Fear and Anxiety Related to COVID-19 to Predict Cyberchondria: Cross-sectional Survey Study Victoria Maxwell for Psychology Today: 6 Ways to Increase Uncertainty Tolerance We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, parental stress, kids stress, stress, news, current events, world affairs, emotions, kids emotions, parent emotions, uncertainty Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How can women grapple with society's unattainable standards for beauty, femininity, and motherhood? Nicole Graev Lipson, author of the new book MOTHERS AND OTHER FICTIONAL CHARACTERS, discusses how she has started to divorce herself from these ideas and get more comfortable with uncertainty.Nicole Graev Lipson's essays have appeared in The Best American Essays 2024, The Sun, Virginia Quarterly Review, The Gettysburg Review, River Teeth, Fourth Genre, The Boston Globe, and more.Nicole, Amy, and Margaret discuss: The role that mothers are expected to play How society treats aging women as invisible How Nicole learned to sit with her own uncertainty about parenting Here's where you can find Nicole: nicolegraevlipson.com @nglipson on IG and @NicoleGLipson on X Buy MOTHERS AND OTHER FICTIONAL CHARACTERS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781797228563 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you're a stay-at-home parent, how do you answer to the people who frequently– and annoyingly– ask, "So, what do you do all day?"A listener in our Facebook group posted?"During Covid, I quit my job and I’ve been home. I drive my kids to school, work out, and manage the house and family. I’m very happy and fulfilled, especially knowing that my eldest will be leaving for college soon, I’m soaking up this time. My problem is trying to explain this to others. I have a good college degree and worked in a decent field before I quit. I guess I feel pressure to work and use my skills. One well-intentioned retired woman at my gym was actually trying to figure out how I can not drive my kids to school so that I could go back to work. I’ve even considered lying and saying I work part time at home to get people off my case."A pre-pandemic Gallup analysis 60,000 women in the U.S. revealed that more than a quarter of SAHMs report feeling depressed. The researchers suggested that “societal recognition of the difficult job stay-at-home mothers have raising children would perhaps help support them emotionally.” Don't stay up waiting for that to happen. America’s mothers have continued to say that society is not supporting them. Do we just decide not to let these misperceptions of stay-at-home parenthood bother us? Do we fight back, bring lists, demand the respect that our hard work deserves? Will that get us anywhere?Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Our episode with Laura Vanderkam on time management for moms Laura's piece: "The working stay-at-home mom" Motherly’s 2022 State of Motherhood Survey Report Consider This on NPR: The Great Resignation: Why People Are Leaving Their Jobs In Growing Numbers Gallup: Stay-at-Home Moms Report More Depression, Sadness, Anger Emily Glover for Motherly: It’s harder than ever before for families to get by on a single income Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3zWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, parental stress, kids stress, stress, news, current events, world affairs, emotions, kids emotions, parent emotions, uncertainty  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices