What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

Three-year-olds will do a lot of things to get attention– sometimes including spitting in your face. A listener wrote in to say:"My almost 3-year-old spits. He doesn't respond well to time-outs, losing toys/treats/etc., explaining that it's rude and hurtful. He spits in my face during church, at his older siblings, or any time he doesn't get his immediate way. He does it when he's getting attention, when he's not getting attention, when he's happy, when he's mad...I'm at a loss. I cannot find the pattern and it is really starting to get to me."The key, as Margaret explains, is to not give our kids the satisfaction of a big reaction to their unwanted behaviors. Easier said than done... but here are a few things to try.In this episode Margaret mentions: Amy Morin for Verywell Family: "How to Discipline a Child for Spitting" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Penelope Leach is a research psychologist and one of the world's leading experts in child development and upbringing. Penelope has helped millions of parents raise their children for more than forty years with her thoroughly researched, practical, baby-led advice, her wise, empathic, and sensible perspective, and her comforting voice. She also has two children and six grandchildren of her own.Penelope's classic childcare guide YOUR BABY AND CHILD is out now in a fully revised and updated edition. Much has changed since this book was first published in the 1970s, and this new edition thoughtfully incorporates all that we've learned about child development and family structures in the many years since.Amy, Margaret, and Dr. Leach discuss: How thinking around child development has changed [2:50] How a mother's stress affects her child [17:10] What parents are still worried about 50 years later [30:00] Grab your copy of YOUR BABY AND CHILD from our Bookshop store!Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3zSpecial thanks to our sponsors for this month:Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase!BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh.Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com.Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now.KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com.Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order.Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing.StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3zCars with built-in refrigerator magnets, super strong hair-collecting magnets, and of course, Baby Uber (car seats included!) Our listeners had so many good ideas for life-saving parenting inventions that we couldn't fit them all into our first "Why Isn't This a Thing?" episode. So here is "Why Isn't This a Thing: Part Two: New Things Rising: Maybe It Is a Thing."Amy and Margaret discuss amazing ideas like: Hotels for sick moms Cocktail ice cream trucks Applebee's buzzers Special thanks to our sponsors for this month:Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase!BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh.Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com.Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now.KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com.Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order.Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing.StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Some kids have "lower set points" for needing to process experiences verbally and they may naturally be a quieter kid, which means parents may need to let go of the expectations they have set for having long, deep conversations with their kids every day after school.This week, a listener asks:I have three boys: almost 7, almost 4, almost 3. I've tried to do the rose/ thorn/ bud reflection at dinner to get even the tiniest glimpse in to my almost-7 year old's day. And I am constantly responded to with either "I dunno" or "So many things I can't even begin to tell you."When I/we say "Well, pick one" he will just shrug and say "I dunno" or stay silent. We will sit in the silence in order to give him time to think but he will always move on to a different topic - usually something he's obsessed with and nothing related to what we have been talking about. I've often said things like "Well, I'd love to know when you think of one thing" or have encouraged him to take his time, but we get nothing. At the end of last year I discovered he was fighting with another boy and that they were no longer friends - I had thought they were buddies! It turns out all the other moms knew because their kids had talked about their "beef". I feel like if my kid would open up maybe this would've come to my attention. I feel sad and frustrated, how do I get him to talk?There are some things you can try to break the ice: let your kid decide on the topic of conversation; vary the time of day when you try to talk to your kid; and use conversation cards like these Table Topics for Kids to get the conversation going. But forcing the issue is usually counterproductive. If your child is content overall, there's a chance that not sharing about their day isn't actually holding them back.Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Donna Jackson Nakazawa is an award-winning science journalist whose work explores the intersection of neuroscience, immunology, and emotion. Her latest book, GIRLS ON THE BRINK: Helping Our Daughters Thrive in an Era of Increased Anxiety, Depression, and Social Media, unpacks the causes of the stress on American girls and its detrimental effects on their mental health.Donna, Margaret, and Amy discuss: Why girls tend to be more depressed and anxious than boys [2:07] How we've stolen girls' "safe in-between years" [17:30] "Antidote" strategies for helping girls through adolescence [26:30] Here's where you can find Donna:https://donnajacksonnakazawa.com@donnajacksonnakazawaauthor on FacebookBuy Donna's book!Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3zSpecial thanks to our sponsors for this month:Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase!BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh.Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com.Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now.KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com.Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order.Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing.StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We're back with another roundup of what we're reading, watching, and listening to. Some of it's educational. Some of it's spicy. Some of it's just for fun. And all of it is totally worth your time!What we're reading: A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas All the Rage: Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership by Darcy Lockman Evgenia Peretz for Vanity Fair: "Scene Stealer: The True Lies of Elisabeth Finch, Part 1" Our What Fresh Hell newsletter! Subscribe on our homepage. What we're watching: Amy Winehouse documentary "Back to Black" The Rehearsal on HBO Napoleon Dynamite Jeopardy! Animal Facts @comedyfortheinternet #animalfacts Keep Sweet, Pray, and Obey Under the Banner of Heaven (book and TV show) KC Davis's TikTok @domesticblisters What we're listening to: The Seduction Dirty John Sweet Bobby A Normal Family: The JonBenet Ramsey Case Revisited Watch What Crappens Our Fresh Take with Kate Mangino Beyoncé's new album "Renaissance" Lizzo's new album "Special" Our episode "Grudges Held, Grudges Kept" Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to that we think you’ll love. Go to whatfreshhellpodcast.com – there’s a link in the right sidebar.Special thanks to our sponsors for this month:Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase!BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh.Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com.Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now.KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com.Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order.Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing.StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, a listener asks:My 10-year-old son is friendly, outgoing, and very accepting. He is also really interested in sports. He has a lot of acquaintances in both school and on his teams, but has no one I would call a best friend. He doesn’t get invited to a lot of birthday parties and rarely is asked for a play date, although the neighborhood kids will knock on the door and ask for him to come play a fair amount. He has ADHD and can get a little overly silly and/or annoy kids (I suspect). But he has not expressed any dissatisfaction with his social life and does not appear lonely, so I don’t want to project my thoughts and feelings on him, but is his lack of close friendships a concern? Is it something we should work on, perhaps social skills? I have never had a lot of acquaintances but have always had a few close friends. My friends changed throughout school but I always had a small group of close friends. Again, I know he is a different person than I am, but I don’t want to miss a sign of something that is amiss. Thoughts?Margaret suggests that if your child isn't expressing dissatisfaction with their social life, it's perfectly alright to leave the matter alone for the time being. There are things that can get in the way of a child forming close friendships, as discussed in the Huffington Post article linked below, and approaching the situation by modeling appropriate behavior yourself is the best course of action.This could look like a social skills class for your child, which Margaret found helpful with hers, or it could simply be practicing polite conversation, reading social cues, and asking others about their interests at the dinner table. Social skills are something you can get better at over time, so don't sweat it if your kid doesn't seem to have it down pat yet.Here is the link to the article Margaret mentions in the episode: Samantha Kemp-Jackson for the Huffington Post: When Your Child Doesn't Have Friends, Here's What To Do Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist and mom of three who’s rethinking the way we raise our children. She's the host of "Good Inside With Dr. Becky," named by Apple Podcasts as one of the best podcasts of 2021. She also empowers more than a million parents following her on Instagram @drbeckyatgoodinside. Dr. Becky specializes in thinking deeply about what’s happening for kids and translating these ideas into simple, actionable strategies for parents. Her new book is GOOD INSIDE: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be. In this episode, Becky, Amy, and Margaret discuss: How kids communicate through their behaviors How to navigate behavior regulation when you're short on time Why "Good Inside" is a slightly different parenting approach Here's where you can find Dr. Becky: www.goodinside.com @drbeckyatgoodinside on IG and FBBuy Dr. Becky's bookSpecial thanks to our sponsors for this month:Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase!BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh.Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com.Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now.KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com.Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order.Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Should our kids have chore lists– and if so, should they be paid allowances for them?If they're not getting paid to do chores, why exactly are they getting an allowance?Do we need to have any structure around chores at all?How old is old enough to be helpful around the house?In this episode, we discuss: Why chores set kids up for success down the road [12:52] The pros of paying kids to do chores [22:33] Non-monetary ways to motivate kids to do chores [26:00] Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:Gia Miller for The Washington Post On Parenting: "I pay my kids to get dressed, do homework and more. It’s the best decision I ever made."Jennie Wallace for The Wall Street Journal: "Why Children Need Chores"AICPA: Four in Five Americans Say Allowance Teaches Financial Responsibility: New SurveyJoe Pinsker for The Atlantic: The Way American Parents Think About Chores Is BizarreTomas Chamorro-Premuzic for Harvard Business Review: "Does Money Really Affect Motivation? A Review of the Research"Fresh Take: Michaeleen Doucleff on Raising Happy, Helpful Little HumansSpecial thanks to our sponsors for this month:Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase!BetterHelp matches you with a qualified therapist in under 48 hours, then you choose among video, phone, or even live chat sessions. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh.Dermawand is a non-surgical, non-invasive way to achieve dramatically younger-looking skin. Get 20% off your order with code LAUGH20 at dermawand.com.Indeed is the hiring platform where you can Attract, Interview, and Hire all in one place. Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now.KiwiCo projects make back-to-school more awesome! Get 30% off your first month plus FREE shipping on ANY crate line with code MOTHERHOOD at kiwico.com.Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order. Metabolic Reds are a delicious superfood blend. Go to getreds.com/fresh and receive a FREE bottle of Metabolic Greens with your order.Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the fully customized healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Get 15% off your first order at prose.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Has it been a while since you've had a night out? Does your parenting partner, in contrast, have an active social life? A listener posted this question in our Facebook group:How do I explain to my husband that while it’s nice he wants to see his friends weekly, he doesn’t have to?  He has two friends he hangs out with almost every week, and they're both child-free. So the hanging out always happens during bedtime– or sometimes he'll even leave mid-bedtime.I haven’t seen my friends solo in weeks! Maybe even months! I heard somewhere it’s easier for a dad or non primary caregiver to find childcare ( in their spouse ) than it is for a mom or primary care giver to find it in their spouse.Most of my friends' husbands hardly ever watch their kids, never do bedtimes, or even worse, have never cared for all their kids, solo, at once. The other problem is that it's less work to stay home than go out... Because you know your partner, if they watch the kids, will do the bare bones. The house will be a disaster when I come home. In other words, my husband is a good person, he is willing to watch my kids, but being a mom it’s also not always practical. Please tell me this isn’t just something I struggle with!Let's change our own language around this before we try to change minds. When our spouses or partners are parenting, they're not babysitting, or watching the kids, or helping us. They're doing what they're supposed to be doing.We have to entitle ourselves to the same social lives and plans as our parenting partners who aren't as tied to the home. If their cleaning standards might be below ours... we can fix that, but a little further down the road. For now, focus on how good is it for your family– and for you– that you have renewing time with your friends, and how good it is for your kids to see that your partner can take care of them just as well as you can.Here is writing on the topic mentioned in this episode:Melinda Wenner Moyer: "At Least I'm Not as Bad as That Dad!"Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor:Pampers are the #1 pediatrician-recommended diaper brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices