What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

Once we know what anti-fat bias is, it's easy to see it everywhere: in our schools, our doctors' offices, even in our own parenting. Virginia Sole-Smith, author of the new book Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture, explains the perniciousness of anti-fat bias and how we can start to move away from its toxic messages.Virginia Sole-Smith is also the author of The Eating Instinct: Food Culture, Body Image and Guilt in America. Virginia's reporting on diet culture, health and parenting has appeared in the New York Times, Scientific American, and many other publications. Virginia also writes the popular anti-diet newsletter Burnt Toast and hosts the Burnt Toast Podcast.Virginia, Amy, and Margaret discuss: What anti-fat bias really is— and why it's everywhere How anti-fat bias shows up in parenting How we can identify and navigate anti-fat bias as people and as parents Here's where you can find Virginia: virginiasolesmith.substack.com @v_solesmith on Instagram, Twitter and TikTok Burnt Toast Podcast Buy Virginia's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781250831217 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We asked our listeners: what would be better if it were just a little bit different? Margaret's ideas include a network consisting solely of TV shows that you only need to pay half attention to.Amy advocates for magical cash dispersal from your phone.In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss these and our listeners' top ideas, including LEGO vacuums properly-sized ketchup packets hand-dryers that don't hurt your ears Read the entire thread in our Facebook group!We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What do we do when our house is filling up with plastic toys from Happy Meals and goody bags that just make cleanup and attempts at organization SO much worse? Margaret explains how "benevolent dictatorship" helps her navigate this issue at her house.Garbage starts at the door, Margaret explains. She tries to stop things she doesn't want in the house from coming in in the first place and expressing this (gently) to her kids. It's also perfectly okay to throw away these things and NOT involve kids in the decision-making, which only makes for tears. Margaret says that in a whole decade of this approach, her kids have noticed the absence of this "junk" maybe twice.Listen to KC Davis's podcast Struggle CareWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why do the "momfluencers" who post perfect pictures of their crisply dressed children in lavender fields hold such a sway over us, and what can we do about it? Sara Petersen, author of the new book Momfluenced: Inside the Maddening, Picture-perfect World of Mommy Influencer Culture, gives us a glimpse into what makes mommy influencer culture so seductive.Sara Petersen also writes the newsletter In Pursuit of Clean Countertops, where she explores the cult of ideal motherhood.Amy and Sara discuss: What exactly a momfluencer is How parasocial relationships can backfire on momfluencers The benefits of momfluencers on social media It's natural to want external validation that we're "good" mothers by collecting likes of our carefully staged pictures on social media. In addition to simply logging off Instagram for awhile, it's good to check in with yourself about what you really value as a mom versus what you feel pressured to perform for others, and that could save you a really stressful trip to a blueberry patch.Here's where you can find Sara: Twitter and Instagram: @slouisepetersen In Pursuit of Clean Countertops: https:///sarapetersen.substack.com/about Buy Sara's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780807006634 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

50% of preadolescent girls and 30% of boys report disliking their bodies. Those numbers go up in adults— 60% of women and 40% of men report the same dissatisfaction.How do we help our kids when they struggle with their body images—especially when some of those struggles are our own? Especially when unrealistic images of bodies are everywhere on social media? Especially when dieting and weight loss are normalized, along with the assumption that all of us would change something about our appearances if we could?We may not be able to fix the messaging that surrounds us and our kids, but there are ways we can start to subvert it.In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss: why body image issues and eating disorders are related but separate issues how "media internalization" makes things worse why TikTok's "body positivity" movement isn't the perfect answer, either Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Susan Cowden for VeryWell Mind: "Body Dysmorphic Disorder and Eating Disorders" Lauren Muhlheim for VeryWell Mind: "The Connection Between Body Image and Eating Disorders" Bobbie Eisenstock, Ph.D: "Media and Your Body Image: What You Need to Know" Jean M. Twenge for The Atlantic: "Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation?" Jill Di Donato for HuffPost: "Gen Z Has A Body Positivity Problem, And It's Lurking On TikTok" Quittkat Hannah, et; al: Body dissatisfaction, importance of appearance, and body appreciation in men and women over the lifespan We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do we get kids to view saying "sorry" as more than a get-out-of-jail-free card? This week's question comes from our Facebook page:I have 5-year-old and 2-year-old boys. My question: how do you help kids around 5 years old understand the meaning of "sorry"? My son will do something wrong– and know it’s wrong before he does it– then immediately say he’s sorry. I try to give him a punishment to help him understand what he did was wrong, but he will still do the action again, then say, “Well, I said I was sorry." How do I help him understand the meaning of being sorry so he won’t do the action again?Not all kids are great at apologies. And grownups sometimes go at this the wrong way too, overemphasizing a perfunctory, mumbled "sorry" from the wrongdoer and then moving on. "That's where the conversation ends," says writer Rachael Rifkin in Today's Parents, "with little if any discussion of what happened, why it was hurtful to the person they’re apologizing to, how they can address the hurt they caused, and what they can do to change their behavior."When it comes to apologies, elementary school teacher JoEllen Poon has a great 3-step approach that hits all the key points. Help your child complete these three sentences:1)I’m sorry for...2) This is wrong because...3) In the future I will...A 5-year-old will need some help with this at first, of course. But keep at it and he'll start to really understand what Daniel Tiger said best: saying "sorry" is only the first step.Special thanks to our sponsor: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do we maintain connection with our kids when they're busy slamming doors or talking back to us and we are all sick and tired of each other? Dr. Tish Taylor, author of "Fostering Connection," gives us some tips for diagnosing and troubleshooting problematic elements in our relationships with our kids.Dr. Tish Taylor is a licensed psychologist with a private practice in the greater Kansas City area. She has an established practice specializing in clinical assessment and the mental health treatment of children and teens.Margaret and Dr. Taylor discuss: The difference between disconnection with teens and natural cleaving from us as they age How to start to address disconnection with our kids, and why quantifying interactions works Dr. Taylor's "Who's Showing Up" system Here's where you can find Dr. Taylor: Tish Holub Taylor, Ph.D. on Facebook @TishTaylorPhD on Twitter Buy Dr. Taylor's book We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This "best of" episode explores the trap we all fall into of thinking that every day with our kids has to contain a “snow globe moment" - a social media-worthy image of perfect joy for our entire family.And even if part of us knows that’s not realistic, another part of us thinks that it’s all supposed to be fun. That there must be something wrong with us if we don’t love every single moment of our chaotic lives with little ones.But once we kick that shame to the curb, there really are ways to make our lives as parents more fun and lighthearted. Even on a regular Tuesday.In this episode, we discuss: How we can be lighthearted, even when things aren’t fun How we can have fun even when things aren’t easy How we can have fun even when our kids definitely aren’t Our basic takeaway: parenting definitely gets a little more fun as our kids get a little bit easier… and by “easier,” we mean “not throwing themselves into mortal danger every ninety seconds because they don’t know any better.”The first step to having more fun may simply be to wish that it were so. As motivational speaker Danielle LaPorte explains: “Knowing how you want to feel is the most potent form of clarity you can have."Links!Gretchen Rubin: "How to Be Happier: Ten Tips for Being a More Light-Hearted Parent."We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do we convince our kids that getting all of the newest toys isn't the most important thing in life while also respecting their enthusiasm for their various obsessions?A member of our Facebook group asks:"What do you do with a kid who wants ALL the toys? I've got a second grader who insists his friends' parents buy all the Pokémon cards and my husband and I are the worse because we refuse to buy every single thing he asks for. He's got a pile full of Pokémon cards but they're not the cool ones, I guess? We're not going to change our buying habits, but how do we talk about this with him?"Margaret explains that you can affirm your child's obsession with Pokémon or Fortnite to make them feel heard while also not giving in to their every whim around it. Margaret developed a shorthand with her son for the feeling of wanting things obsessively - the 'grabby greedies.' Naming it obviously didn't completely solve the problem, but having language around it helps keep the conversation going.Setting up an allowance/chore system can be helpful, e.g., "If you clean your room and feed the dog every day this week, you can have x." Because kids have so little control over most aspects of their life, giving them some agency around things that really matter to them can be helpful. After all, one day, they WILL be making these decisions for themselves, and so the more they can practice making smart decisions with their own money, the better.Special thanks to our sponsor: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if we're looking at autism in the wrong way? Dr. Lynn Koegel, co-author of Hidden Brilliance: Unlocking the Intelligence of Autism, explains how to engage with the strengths in kids with autism rather than focusing on what they're lacking.Dr. Lynn Koegel is a clinical professor at the Stanford School of Medicine. She and her husband developed Pivotal Response Treatment which focuses on motivation. She has been supporting autistic individuals for more than 40 years.Dr. Koegel and Margaret discuss: Why we're focusing on the wrong things when we assess kids with autism The power of peer support Connecting authentically with kids with autism Dr. Koegel explains that professionals are often trained to look at what's "wrong" with children with autism rather than what's right. It helps to look at the differences in children with autism, as Margaret likes to say, as morally neutral.Here's where you can find Lynn: autismPRThelp.com @lynn.koegel on Facebook hidden-brilliance.org We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices