What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson
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Jul 31, 2023 • 6min

Ask Amy: I've Already Got the End-of-Summer Scaries

Why is it that summer never seems to be the picture-perfect, sun-washed experience we want for our kids? Amy helps a listener ditch her mom guilt over not providing her kids with the "perfect" summer."I have the end of summer scaries. Or end of summer mom guilt. I feel so bummed that I have spent most of the summer in survival mode instead of really enjoying it with my children. I probably have seen way too many of those "you only get 18 summers" posts. My oldest starts first grade in two weeks and I feel like I completely failed. I wish we had spent more time swimming, riding bikes, all of that quintessential summer stuff. Instead, I feel like I've spent most of it breaking up fights with his 4 year old brother, keeping the 18 month old from injuring himself, and saying "no" to every request. I'm notoriously hard on myself so I probably just need a reality check. Does anyone else feel this way?"It's totally normal to feel like the summer is a more difficult time of year, especially with three little kids to entertain, Amy explains. There are more hours of daylight and more unstructured time.And, by the way, your kids don't vaporize once they turn 18, and if they're away at college, summer is when you WILL see them, at least somewhat more than you did during the school year. Try to decouple yourself from the overwhelming "you only get 18 summers with your kids" messaging. It robs you of the ability to remain present THIS summer with your kids.So how do you try and be present with your kids without worrying about how many summers you have left in the bank? Start super small. Declare that it's "ice cream dinner" tonight or let the kids cover the driveway in chalk drawings. The "summer memories" we're supposed to be making are by definition lazy and unstructured. And those little things we may think are nothing special are probably what our kids will look back on most fondly.Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Jul 28, 2023 • 35min

Fresh Take: Ash Brandin, The Gamer Educator

How can we place reasonable limits on our kids' screen time— and how do we know what's reasonable? Ash Brandin, better known on Instagram as @TheGamerEducator, brings their experience as an educator (and gamer) to help families better understand and manage technology in ways that can benefit the entire family.In this episode, we discuss: why screens are "value neutral," and why their educational merit is derived more from how screens are being used the one question we should ask ourselves to know whether screens are okay in a given moment how to raise kids who will be able to set their own parameters around screens and gaming once we're no longer there to harass them Here's where you can find Ash: TheGamerEducator.com @TheGamerEducator on IG We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Jul 26, 2023 • 44min

Teaching Kids About Money

Teaching kids about how money works feels ever more important in a world where we pay for things by waving our phones, and where a couple of taps brings us anything we want to our doorstep twenty-four hours later.Sometimes we feel like protecting our kids from the realities of our financial situations is what is most appropriate. But somewhere along the way we can start teaching kids financial literacy by making our family decisions around money concrete and transparent.In this episode we discuss: our children's many "blind spots" around money and spending (and what were once our own) the differences in spending when people use credit cards versus cash how to discuss your family's "money values" in terms of what you are (and are not) willing to spend Here are some links to resources mentioned in the episode: @bethkobliner on Twitter BusyKid: What Your Child Can Understand About Money, Age by Age Beth Kobliner for PBS News Hour: Money habits are set by age 7. Teach your kids the value of a dollar now Jana B. Woodhouse for How Money Works: Can You Teach Your Kids How Money Works? (Yes!) Shereen Marisol Meraji and Andee Tagle for NPR's Life Kit: Want to teach your kids about money? Start by including them in the conversation Johnathan G. Conzelmann and T. Austin Lacy for Brookings: Financial and student loan (il)literacy among US college students Our episode "Should We Pay Our Kids To Clean Our Rooms?" Our Fresh Take with Bobbi Rebell Check us out on YouTube!We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Jul 24, 2023 • 6min

Ask Margaret: Ground Rules for House Guests

How do you host relatives in your home in a loving and generous way without becoming overwhelmed? Margaret explains that hosts, not guests, get to make the rules for timing and length of their visits.A listener asked:Do you have any ground rules or tips and tricks for having family come stay with you? My husband and I live interstate between both of our families of origin, so if they visit, they stay with us. We don't live in a large house and we're finding the line between hospitality and what we can handle hard to draw. How can we simplify our approach? When people come to your house, it's perfectly acceptable to set ground rules that represent roughly 50% of what you need/want, and 50% of what your guests would prefer. Ultimately, though, it's your house, so you have veto power should a disagreement arise.You have the right to decide when and how long people come to stay with you. You may get pushback from relatives, but you are within your rights to gently decline their requests. That being said, operate from your maximum place of generosity and do your best to accommodate the people who raised you/your spouse and want to be in their grandkids' lives.Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Jul 21, 2023 • 38min

Fresh Take: Erin Pepler

Why are women expected to love pregnancy and new motherhood without exception or complaint? Erin Pepler, author of the collection of essays "Send Me Into the Woods Alone," discusses the stigma that still persists around mothers expressing difficulty and displeasure with their lives—and how reading and writing about motherhood has improved her own life.Erin Pepler is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in Today’s Parent, ParentsCanada, SavvyMom, Romper, Scary Mommy, MoneySense, Broadview Magazine and more.Erin and Amy discuss: Why pregnancy is "objectively weird" Why women are expected to downplay their pain and suffering particularly as new mothers How anxiety can shape us as parents... and when it's time to take a closer look Here's where you can find Erin: erinpepler.com @erinpepler on Instagram and Twitter @erinpeplerwriter on Facebook Buy SEND ME INTO THE WOODS ALONE: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781988784892 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Jul 19, 2023 • 43min

Why Was This a Thing? Rules We Once Lived By

Rooms where no one was allowed to go? Saving up phone minutes? Opening one kind of cereal at a time? What odd rules did we once live by that we can't imagine following now?Amy and Margaret discuss: The Good Room Snuggies Peek Freans Links to references in this episode: The Onion: Bloodthirsty, Undead Ghoul Advocates Chocolate-Cereal Consumption "Certain things are for company" - comedian Sebastian Maniscalco "Company is Coming" - comedian Chris Fleming Peek Freans Follow us on Threads @whatfreshhellcast We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Jul 17, 2023 • 6min

Ask Amy: When Should Kids Stop Sharing a Room?

What are the signs that kids no longer want to share a room, and when do the cons of a shared space outweigh the pros? Amy cites a study or two to help a mom decide what's best for her two boys.Emily asks:How do I know when the right time is for my two boys (ages 7 and 8) to stop sharing a room? Are there signs I should be looking for? For context, the boys have shared a room since they were 1 and 2. We have a guest room that we occasionally let one sleep in, but it’s usually just when one is sick. I have heard from other moms that the benefits of sharing a room can expire as they get older, but I am not sure what I should be watching for.If the current arrangement is working for everyone in the family there's no need to immediately change things up. But there are signs you can watch for that might mean a change is worth consideration.A child's desire for privacy, siblings who bicker constantly, a divergence in interests or habits, and increasing homework loads are all signs that separate spaces might be needed. Studies also show that kids also get more sleep when they don't share rooms. However, this doesn't necessarily mean separate bedrooms. There could be one room designated for sleeping/study ,and another room designated for play and activity.Don't feel guilty if your kids need to share a room, or if it just works better for the whole family that way. As far as knowing when it's time to change things, the clearest signal may be if and when one of the room-sharers actually asks for their own space. Here are links to some resources Amy mentions in the episode: Erin Quinn-Kong for Sleep Foundation: Having Your Own Room as a Kid May Be Worth 28 Minutes of Sleep Kara Carrero for Extremely Good Parenting: Should siblings share a bedroom? This research will help you decide! Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Jul 14, 2023 • 35min

Fresh Take: Raena Boston on Mom Scams

What "scams" about motherhood have we become subject to without really questioning them? What would happen if we stopped subscribing to these ideas?Raena Boston, founder of the Working Momtras, discusses ways to counteract the sexism inherent in parenting, particularly mothering, and how to make the personal political. Raena is a mom of three, co-founder of the nonprofit Chamber of Mothers, and a fierce advocate for working families.In this interview, Raena and Margaret discuss: Mom guilt as a scam and how we can dismantle it Why dads need parental leave too What federal paid family leave really means Here's where you can find Raena: www.theworkingmomtras.com @theworkingmomtras on IG @workingmomtras on Twitter Listen to our episode with Kate Mangino on her book "Equal Partners"We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Jul 13, 2023 • 3min

July Bonus TEASER: Ask Us Anything

It's July bonus episode time! We opened up the floor for our listeners to ask us anything, and it turns out we're still learning things about each other after all these years.Topics include: The best parenting book Amy has ever read Pajama grams Billy Joel's and Bill Clinton's dogs To listen to the full episode, sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast. You get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Jul 12, 2023 • 41min

Let's Stop Caring What People Think

What if we didn't let other people's judgments change our game plans—as women, as mothers, and as humans? We're wired to pay attention to what other people think. There's a reason those judgments can be painful. Are there ways we can break free and care less?In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss... How our innate need to belong (and not ostracized) is hard-wired The "behavioral inhibition system" and how it gets triggered Whose feelings and judgments we should take into account Why parenting is an especially problematic zone for others' judgments of us Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Our episode "Parenting With An Audience" Governor J.B. Pritzker's speech to the 2023 graduates of Northwestern University: "The kindest person in the room is often the smartest." Rachel Moss for HuffPost UK: How To Actually Stop Caring What Other People Think Of You hotter.com: At What Age Do You Feel Most Comfortable In Yourself? Arthur C. Brooks for The Atlantic: No One Cares! Naomi I. Eisenberger: Why Rejection Hurts: What Social Neuroscience Has Revealed About the Brain’s Response to Social Rejection Sarah Coyne for The Joplin Globe: Parenting with an audience changes the rules We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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