Dear Sugars

The Sugars take on some of the big questions of the holiday season. How do we balance the competing demands of families? How do we act like adults when we return to our childhood homes? And, what if we aren't sure we should return home at all?

Motherhood has a near-sacred status in our society. If we dare speak negatively about it, it's only to say: "Motherhood is hard, but it's worth it." But for some mothers, it isn't. In this episode, the Sugars take on the taboo.

The Sugars explore the fraught relationship between body image and romance. In one letter, a married woman reconsiders her priorities after losing 100 pounds. In another, a young man wants his girlfriend to lose weight, but does not understand why she’s so upset when he broaches the subject.

The Sugars are taking Thanksgiving weekend off. We'll be back next week with a new episode. This week, we revisit an earlier episode — The Deal Killer.

The Sugars record the show in front of a live audience at First Parish Church in Harvard Square. Taped on the occasion of Cheryl's new book of quotes, Brave Enough, the Sugars discuss the importance of quotations in their own lives. The questions come from the audience — from a Harvard grad student who just lost a loved one to suicide to a young person gripped by jealousy in romantic relationships. They are joined on stage by rock star Amanda Palmer.

The Sugars take a question from a single father who's just dropped his oldest son off at college. He is seized by feelings of guilt — that his attention was often elsewhere, that he didn't do enough to prepare his sons for the world. They are joined by the writer Brad Watson, himself divorced with two sons.

The Sugars get a letter from a young woman who has fallen head over heels in love. She and her boyfriend only met a month ago, but they are already in deep. Everything seems perfect, and yet the letter writer can't help but wonder if the traumas of her new love's past are hiding somewhere under the surface, threatening to resurface. The Sugars do something new — and get the letter writer on the phone to speak with her directly about her fears.

The Sugars take on sibling rivalry. The mother of an only child wonders if she should have another but fears cruelty and conflict between the siblings. And a young man is caught between his parents and his brother, who is refusing to let the family spend time with his son.

If someone smokes pot multiple times a day, but is still a highly functional partner, parent, and worker — is there a problem? That's the question to the Sugars from a letter writer whose husband has been a habitual marijuana smoker for years. If it is a problem, she wonders, is it his or hers?

The Sugars try something new — answering more questions, more quickly. While they always give their hearts and souls to the letters they receive, some questions are just a little more straightforward. The Sugars take on six quick questions, from siblings discovering incriminating texts on their father's phone to women reeling from encounters with sociopaths to this single sentence — "what do I do if I can't stand to stay with him but I can't stand to leave him either?"