The Kids or Childfree Podcast

Julie Lythcott-Haims — New York Times bestselling author, TED speaker, former Stanford dean, and lawyer — is here to share her wisdom with us on living an authentic life, the impact of helicopter parenting (and how we can break free of this trap, should we choose to become parents), and her experiences as a mom of two adult children. Hear her and Keltie discuss: The importance of defining one's unique path in life — and how we can break free of the pressures that surround us. Julie's personal path to motherhood — including its challenges and rewards. What Julie is seeing and hearing from young people about the decision to have kids or not. The danger of today's culture of intensive parenting — and how we can choose to do things differently. Why couples should and can prioritize their own well-being, and take time for themselves to maintain a healthy relationship. The challenges of maintaining friendships when one person becomes a parent — and the different values and priorities that can arise. The profound learning experience of having children. ...and so much more! As mentioned in the show: Find Julie online at julielythcotthaims.com. X: x.com/jlythcotthaims Instagram: instagram.com/jlythcotthaims Facebook: facebook.com/jlythcotthaims/ Julie's books: Real American: A Memoir How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kids for Success Your Turn: How to Be an Adult About Julie: Julie Lythcott-Haims believes in humans and is deeply interested in what gets in our way. Her work encompasses writing, speaking, public service, and activism. She is a New York Times bestselling author of books on human development, a TED speaker, a former Stanford dean, and a lawyer, and she holds degrees from Stanford University (BA), Harvard Law (JD), and California College of the Arts (MFA). She serves on numerous nonprofit boards whose work focuses on equity, education, youth, wellness, and the arts. Julie lives in Palo Alto, California with her partner of over thirty years, their itinerant young adults, and her mother. She is a member of the Palo Alto City Council. __ Get the details on my Clarity Booster coaching offer here. Check out our free resources here, or at kidsorchildfree.com/free-resources And don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review The Kids or Childfree Podcast if you love what you're hearing! You can leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, or a rating on Spotify. Find us online at www.kidsorchildfree.com. Instagram: www.instagram.com/kidsorchildfree TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@kidsorchildfree

In this conversation, we hear from Katherine Ripley, a licensed clinical social worker and somatic therapist, about how difficult childhood experiences can influence and shape the decision of whether or not to have children. Keltie and Katherine discuss: The role of anxiety as a defense against emotion and how it can prevent us from connecting with our bodies and core emotions. The importance of curiosity, compassion, and listening to the different parts of ourselves when making decisions. How childhood trauma can shape our desires and fears around parenthood. The concept of parentification and how it can influence the decision to have kids or not. Emotional regulation and taking ownership of our emotions when considering parenthood. ...and many other topics related to difficult childhood experiences and the Kids or Childfree decision. As mentioned in the show: Find Katherine on: Instagram: instagram.com/therapy.with.katherine/ Tiktok: tiktok.com/@therapywithkatherine Get the details on Katherine's upcoming "The Practice of Presence" course, here: katherineripleytherapist.com/online-course About Katherine: Katherine Ripley is a licensed clinical social worker, offering both individual therapy and group coaching programs. She works with adult survivors of child abuse and childhood emotional neglect. She uses primarily somatic methods to support people in processing their emotions through their bodies. Her work is also based in attachment theory. __ Check out our free resources here, or at kidsorchildfree.com/free-resources And don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review The Kids or Childfree Podcast if you love what you're hearing! You can leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, or a rating on Spotify. Find us online at www.kidsorchildfree.com. Instagram: www.instagram.com/kidsorchildfree TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@kidsorchildfree

Join us for a conversation with Dutch writer, illustrator, and artist, Marloes de Vries. We discuss her book 'Kinderen krijg is optioneel' (Having Children is Optional) and Marloes' decision to be childfree. You'll hear about: The pressures Marloes' felt from society and how she took time to reflect and be alone to solidify her decision. The importance of being true to yourself and finding contentment in your own company. The process of writing and illustrating her book and the need for more accessible and humorous resources on the topic of being childfree. Why women need to make conscious decisions about motherhood and to consider the impact it will have on their lives. The freedom and opportunities that come with being childfree, such as pursuing a career as an artist, as Marloes has done. A discussion about regretting your Kids or Childfree choice — including the messages she receives from parents ...and so much more. As mentioned in the show: Find out more about Marloes and her work at marloesdevries.com/en. Get Marloes' book, Kinderen krijgen is optioneel at kinderenkrijgenisoptioneel.nl Find Marloes on Instagram: instagram.com/marloesdevee/ About Marloes: Here's Marloes in her own words... "Artist and author, and a freelancer for over 25 years. Based in the Netherlands, in love with the UK. Been with my partner for almost 9 years (who's also childfree). In 2016 I wrote an article about not wanting to have children for a Belgian magazine, which went viral online. I got asked to write a book on it but wanted to wait a few years until I understood how I felt exactly, and I wanted to do a lot of research on this topic. I had already been reading up on the topic for quite a few years by then, but dove in deeper since then. I questioned over 250 people (mostly women) about being childfree, and did in-depth interviews with 12 women for my book. I've read pretty much every article I could find online on this topic, and researched sexism and feminism related to child bearing. Since my book was published in November 2023 (Kinderen krijgen is optioneel / Having children is optional) I've done many interviews, and am contacted regularly by the Dutch media as a consultant on the childfree topic. My main viewpoint is that everyone should be free to make the decision of becoming a parent, but I strongly believe everyone should mindfully think about it before making a decision. I also believe you should consider the life of your unborn child before getting pregnant, because this is a choice that goes beyond 'do I want kids?'. It isn't about you, it's about the human you're putting on this earth." ___ Get my FREE Kids or Childfree Response Guide: www.kidsorchildfree.com/responseguide And don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review The Kids or Childfree Podcast if you love what you're hearing! You can leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, or a rating on Spotify. Find us online at www.kidsorchildfree.com. Instagram: www.instagram.com/kidsorchildfree TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@kidsorchildfree

In this conversation, we hear from Jane van Dis, M.D., an OB-GYN who specializes in women's/maternal health and its intersection with reproductive justice — both in terms of Jane's personal experience of motherhood and how her professional insights and expertise can help inform your own choice. You'll hear about: The idea of informed consent in understanding the potential effects of pregnancy and childbirth on a woman's body and overall well-being. The impact of environmental toxins, such as plastics and chemicals, on women's health and the potential risks they pose to pregnancy. Climate change and its potential consequences on future generations when making decisions about having children. The complexities of ethical decision-making in today's world. Global population growth and declining birth rates, alongside the possibility of mandated motherhood ...and many more fascinating areas of discussion. As mentioned in the show: Bumpin' and Fertility Rules by Leslie Schrock (Medical Editor, Jane van Dis, M.D.) Under The Sky We Make by Kimberly Nicholas Generation Dread by Britt Wray Eve by Cat Bohannon About Jane: Jane van Dis, MD is an Assistant Professor of Obstetrics & Gynecology at the University of Rochester and faculty in the Institute for Human Health and the Environment. She lectures nationally and internationally on the intersection of the climate crisis and women's/maternal health. She Co-Founded OBGYNs For Sustainability and TIMES UP Healthcare and Co-Admins OB Mom Group. Dr. van Dis is an Editor at the Journal of OB Hospitalist Medicine and is a single mom to twins. __ Check out our free resources here, or at kidsorchildfree.com/free-resources And don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review The Kids or Childfree Podcast if you love what you're hearing! You can leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, or a rating on Spotify. Find us online at www.kidsorchildfree.com. Instagram: www.instagram.com/kidsorchildfree TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@kidsorchildfree

In this episode, Keltie reflects on the insights and takeaways from the first season of The Kids or Childfree podcast. -- Get the details on our two group coaching programs that start the week of April 20th: kidsorchildfree.com/group-coaching And don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review The Kids or Childfree Podcast if you love what you're hearing! You can leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, or a rating on Spotify. Find us online at www.kidsorchildfree.com. Instagram: www.instagram.com/kidsorchildfree TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@kidsorchildfree

Author Kate Kaufmann shares her journey of choosing to be childfree after trying to have children alongside much valuable wisdom gleaned over her 70-plus years of life without kids. You'll hear about: The challenges and grief associated with this decision and how her identity shifted over time. The importance of intergenerational relationships and the value of having childless elders in her life. Practical aspects of aging without children, such as making end-of-life arrangements and having a support network in place. The capacity and stability that come with not having children and the richness of relationships that can be formed in different ways. Why individuals may not fit neatly into the categories of childless or childfree, and how one's feelings and experiences may change over time. As mentioned on the show: Find out more about Kate and her work at www.katekaufmann.com You can read Kate's column over at Psychology Today here: www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/unapparent Learn about and purchase Kate's book, Do You Have Kids? Life When the Answer is No, here. About Kate: International, award-winning author of Do You Have Kids? Life When the Answer is No, Kate Kaufmann advocates for better understanding of the childless/childfree demographic in person, on air, and in print. A popular speaker, media guest, and conversation-starter, Kate has an MFA in creative writing and professional background in human resources and consulting. Outlets where her work has been featured include NBC, CBC Radio, Psychology Today, and the Washington Post. Kate's mission is to open doors to frank, respectful conversations between the childless and childfree, as well as among parents, non-parents, and those whose futures are as yet unclear. Kate's book Do You Have Kids? Life When the Answer is No has been published in North America, the United Kingdom, Taiwan, Brazil, and Korea, with a Chinese edition forthcoming. __ Get the details on both of my upcoming group programs – Kids or Childfree, as well as Confidently Childfree — here: kidsorchildfree.com/group-coaching And don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review The Kids or Childfree Podcast if you love what you're hearing! You can leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, or a rating on Spotify. Find us online at www.kidsorchildfree.com. Instagram: www.instagram.com/kidsorchildfree TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@kidsorchildfree

Join Keltie and her mom, Jan Maguire, for a heartfelt mother-daughter conversation about Jan's choice to become a mom, Keltie's decision not to, and Jan's reflections and wisdom about the Kids or Childfree decision. You'll hear about: The experiences and decisions that shaped Jan's path to becoming a mom. Jan's biggest challenges in motherhood — and her greatest joys. Motherhood as a creative experience, and the beauty in watching and nurturing your children to become the unique individuals they are. How Jan feels about Keltie's choice to be childfree. The importance of listening to your gut — and resisting external pressures and expectations. __ Get the details on the April session of our Kids or Childfree Group Coaching Program: www.kidsorchildfree.com/kids-or-childfree-program Find out how I can help you with your Kids or Childfree decision at: www.kidsorchildfree.com. And don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review The Kids or Childfree Podcast if you love what you're hearing! You can leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, or a rating on Spotify. Find us online at www.kidsorchildfree.com. Instagram: www.instagram.com/kidsorchildfree TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@kidsorchildfree

In this episode, Keltie and sex educator, Erica Smith, discuss how conservative religious values influence and enforce broader societal ideas about gender, sexuality, and the importance of having children. We also talk about Erica's choice to be childfree and the joyful life she has built without kids. You'll hear about: The concept of purity culture and its influence on gender and sexuality. Erica's decision to be childfree, plus guidance for those considering parenthood. Why Erica feels so content and grateful for not having had children, and where she finds joy and fulfillment in her life. How to respond to comments about one's childfree choice. The importance of trusting your gut and seeking support with this decision. As mentioned in the show: Find out more about Erica and her work at www.purityculturedropout.com. Get Erica's Sexual Values Workbook here. Find Erica on: Instagram: instagram.com/ericasmith.sex.ed Twitter: twitter.com/ericasmithsexed About Erica: Erica Smith is an award-winning sexuality educator and consultant with over 20 years of experience. Throughout her career, she has provided comprehensive sex education and advocacy to young women and LGBTQ+ youth in Philadelphia's juvenile justice system, worked in abortion care, and supported HIV+ and transgender adolescents and their families. In 2019, she developed the Purity Culture Dropout™️ Program to help people learn all of the sex education that they missed growing up in purity culture- sex ed that is accurate, queer-inclusive, trauma-informed, compassionate, and comprehensive. She has since worked with hundreds of people to help them learn about healthy sexuality after high control religion. Erica lives in Philadelphia with her partner and house full of rescue animals. __ Find out how I can help you with your Kids or Childfree decision at: www.kidsorchildfree.com. And don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review The Kids or Childfree Podcast if you love what you're hearing! You can leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, or a rating on Spotify. Find us online at www.kidsorchildfree.com. Instagram: www.instagram.com/kidsorchildfree TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@kidsorchildfree

Listen in as expat and small business owner, Eleanor Mayrhofer shares her experience of becoming a first- and only-time mom at age 44 and the emotional journey of ambivalence, decision-making, and fertility treatments that preceded motherhood. You'll hear her and Keltie discuss: The importance of understanding the practicalities and challenges of pursuing parenthood. Why fertility treatments are a roller coaster of hope and disappointment, and the importance of considering its emotional, financial, and logistical implications. How our life decisions impact our choices and Kids or Childfree path. How ambivalence and flip-flopping between choices can still exist, even once you decide to have a child. Managing business and motherhood, as well as the challenges and benefits of raising a child in a foreign country. The joy of finally having a child and advice for others considering fertility treatments. Why the decision to become a parent is a deeply personal and emotional one and may not always have a rational explanation. As mentioned in the show: Find out more about Eleanor and her work at www.eleanormayrhofer.com. Listen to Eleanor's The Germany Expat Business Show podcast here: https://www.eleanormayrhofer.com/podcast Find Eleanor on: Instagram: instagram.com/eleanormayrhofer LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/eleanormayrhofer/ About Eleanor: Eleanor Mayrhofer was born and raised in Los Angeles, California. She moved to Munich, Germany on a whim when she was 27 and ended up staying. She married in her late 30s and had her first and only child at 44 after a long fertility journey. Eleanor runs an agency of one providing online marketing, strategy, and websites to expat business owners in Germany. __ Find out how I can help you with your Kids or Childfree decision at: www.kidsorchildfree.com. And don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review The Kids or Childfree Podcast if you love what you're hearing! You can leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, or a rating on Spotify. Find us online at www.kidsorchildfree.com. Instagram: www.instagram.com/kidsorchildfree TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@kidsorchildfree

This conversation with Ruby Warrington not only delves into the author's latest book, Women Without Kids, but Ruby's own decision not to have children. Listen in as she and Keltie discuss: The immense societal pressure surrounding motherhood. The normalization of questioning the desire to have children. An exploration of Ruby's personal journey and the impact of family dynamics on her childfree decision. Why women without kids should be seen as torchbearers of an alternative vision for womankind. The myth of regretting not having children and the need for new solutions in an ever-changing world. The notion of "fear-driven" decisions and the role of fear as a motivating force. The challenges and pain associated with being child-free, including feelings of envy and loneliness. As mentioned in the show: Find Ruby's latest book, Women Without Kids, here: https://a.co/d/6ox3DLG Find out more about Ruby and her events, services, and work at www.rubywarrington.com. Find Ruby on: Instagram: instagram.com/rubywarrington Or join Ruby's private Facebook group for Women Without Kids, here. About Ruby Warrington: Ruby Warrington is a British-born author, editor, and publishing consultant. Recognized as having the unique ability to identify issues that are destined to become part of the cultural narrative, she is perhaps best known as the creator of the term "Sober Curious"—her 2018 book and million-download podcast of the same title having helped to spearhead a global movement to reevaluate our relationship with alcohol. Ruby's other works include Material Girl, Mystical World, The Sober Curious Reset, and Women Without Kids: The Revolutionary Rise of an Unsung Sisterhood, and her work has been featured by countless media outlets globally, including the New York Times, The Guardian, and Good Morning America. She lives in Brooklyn. __ Join an upcoming Kids or Childfree Workshop and also get access to our free resources at: www.kidsorchildfree.com. And don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review The Kids or Childfree Podcast if you love what you're hearing! Find us online at www.kidsorchildfree.com. Instagram: www.instagram.com/kidsorchildfree TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@kidsorchildfree