The Kids or Childfree Podcast

In this conversation, Keltie Maguire speaks with Kristina Chilian — teacher, coach, and mom to two 20-somethings —  about her journey into and experience of motherhood. You'll hear about... Kristina's initial reluctance to have kids, and how her perspectives evolved over time (4:06) Kristina's transition from being a stay-at-home mom to discovering a new career in teaching (21:44) Her experience parenting a child who is neurodiverse (37:38) Why humor is her and her partner's secret to maintaining a great relationship while parenting (51:08) The joys and difficulties of watching her children transition into adulthood, and why parents must adapt their roles as their children grow (54:45) ...plus many more unique and candid perspectives from over 20 years as a parent. As mentioned in the show: Find Kristina online at www.kristinachilian.com. Kristina's Instagram is @kristinachilian. About Kristina: Kristina Chilian is a licensed teacher and time management coach for college students. As a high school English teacher, she witnessed many of her former students struggle as they tried to transition to college. After her own sons struggled with anxiety and overwhelm as freshmen, she felt called to start a business helping students thrive in college by teaching them how to organize their schedule, manage their workload, and reduce stress. She lives outside of Richmond, Virginia with her husband, two sons, three cats and a dog. _ Join one of our May Support Series sessions: Kids or Childfree Support Series: kidsorchildfree.com/kids-or-childfree-support-series Confidently Childfree Support Series: kidsorchildfree.com/confidently-childfree-support-series Check out our free resources here, or at kidsorchildfree.com/free-resources And don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review The Kids or Childfree Podcast if you love what you’re hearing! You can leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, or a rating on Spotify. Find us online at www.kidsorchildfree.com. Instagram: www.instagram.com/kidsorchildfree

We're kicking off Season 5 of the podcast, with a conversation with Anne Wennhold — a 90-year-old childfree by choice woman who supports elders interested in continuing to grow as human and spiritual beings. Hear Keltie and Anne discuss: How Anne's upbringing and early life experiences culminated in her choice not to have kids. How Anne contends with being an "outsider" among parents and grandparents. Anne's experience navigating difficult emotions as a childfree person — and how you can manage painful emotions that arise around this decision.  Loneliness in old age – and why having kids won't make you immune to it. Whether Anne regrets her decision not to have kids.  Anne's advice to anyone on the fence about kids.  ...and so much more! As mentioned in the show: If you want to email Anne, just drop me a DM at @kidsorchildfree and I'll connect you.  About Anne: Here's Anne in her words: "I live alone in northern New Jersey. I was widowed at an early age, have no children by choice. My chosen family is scattered about the USA and available by phone and Zoom. At 90 years old, I am focused on working with elders who are interested in continuing to grow as human and spiritual beings, and sharing with them all aspects of living to an older age including having children or not." __ Join our upcoming Confidently Childfree Coaching Intensive: kidsorchildfree.com/confidently-childfree-support-series Check out our free resources here, or at kidsorchildfree.com/free-resources And don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review The Kids or Childfree Podcast if you love what you’re hearing! You can leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, or a rating on Spotify. Find us online at www.kidsorchildfree.com. Instagram: www.instagram.com/kidsorchildfree

In this episode, Keltie Maguire discusses some of the key themes and insights that have come up in her private and group coaching sessions during Season 4 of The Kids or Childfree Podcast, as well as episodes from Season 4 that address these topics. You'll hear her discuss: Why it's tough to allow yourself to want something that you secretly judge. The importance of separating the version of motherhood or childfree living that you want, from those you're accustomed to seeing. Why it's essential to discuss your ideas and expectations of parenthood with your partner.   How fears and insecurities are amplified when we face the Kids or Childfree choice. How the way we perceive and think about our choices affects our decision-making process. __ Join our Confidently Childfree Coaching Intensive that kicks off May 12th: kidsorchildfree.com/confidently-childfree-group-intensive Check out our free resources here, or at kidsorchildfree.com/free-resources And don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review The Kids or Childfree Podcast if you love what you’re hearing! You can leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, or a rating on Spotify. Find us online at www.kidsorchildfree.com. Instagram: www.instagram.com/kidsorchildfree

In this conversation, Keltie speaks with Gabrielle Salamone, a licensed clinical social worker specializing in OCD and anxiety. The two of them discuss... Tokophobia, a severe fear of childbirth, and its implications on women's mental health and parenting decisions. The importance of addressing fears surrounding childbirth, and therapeutic approaches to overcoming these fears. The importance of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and ERP (exposure response prevention) techniques and how "worry stories" can help alleviate and manage anxiety.  Gabrielle's personal journey with being on the fence, and navigating infertility. As mentioned in the show: Find Gabrielle — and US-based therapy — online at therapyforwomencenter.com. Gabrielle's Instagram is @livewellwithgabrielle. About Gabrielle: Gabrielle Salomone, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, who is from outside of Philadelphia PA. She received her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and then a few years later her Masters in Social Work, both from Widener University. She currently is the clinical director at Therapy for Women Center which is based in Philadelphia. The practice has 3 offices in the Philadelphia area, one opening soon in New Jersey and they have therapists available virtually in 42 states including DC! Besides being a part of the day-to-day running of the group practice Gabrielle is also a therapist and continues to work with clients. Gabrielle has experience working in just about every area of mental health treatment, at every level of treatment, and with clients across all ages. She specializes in working with clients struggling with life transitions, eating disorders, anxiety, and OCD. Gabrielle has received training through working at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, The Renfrew Center and Roger's Behavioral Health. As a therapist, Gabrielle believes that therapy is not one size fits all, which is why she uses a person-centered approach. She practices from the theoretical orientation of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, focusing on how thoughts and feelings impact our behaviors and incorporating exposure therapy to change behaviors and working with clients on incorporating back into one’s life enjoyable activities, routines and value-based goals that have decreased or are being avoided due to the eating disorder/anxiety/OCD. Gabrielle provides a safe and comfortable atmosphere and she believes in building trusting therapeutic relationships with all her clients. __ Join one of our April Support Series sessions: Kids or Childfree Support Series: kidsorchildfree.com/kids-or-childfree-support-series Confidently Childfree Support Series: kidsorchildfree.com/confidently-childfree-support-series Check out our free resources here, or at kidsorchildfree.com/free-resources And don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review The Kids or Childfree Podcast if you love what you’re hearing! You can leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, or a rating on Spotify. Find us online at www.kidsorchildfree.com. Instagram: www.instagram.com/kidsorchildfree

Your questions, answered! In this very first episode of my new Dear Former Fence-Sitter series, I sit down with former guest — mom, therapist, and former fence-sitter, Amanda E. White — to answer questions that include... How do I decide if I don't feel strongly about having kids one way or the other? If I'm scared of pregnancy and childbirth, what advice do you have for me? I'm a step-mom and struggling to figure out if I want kids of my own — what to do? How do I navigate my relationships with my mom friends as a childfree woman? What was beneficial in preparing yourself for parenthood, and that made you realize you could do it? As mentioned in the show: Listen to my original conversation with Amanda, where she shares her personal Kids or Childfree journey, here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4ir3CeSSRRLLh2PbVwQn1h Tune into my Between Friends conversation with Lauren Grant, here: www.kidsorchildfree.com/between-friends-event Find Amanda on Instagram: instagram.com/therapyforwomen Read Amanda's Fence Sitter Substack: amandaewhite.substack.com Listen to Amanda's Nuance Needed Podcast here: https://open.spotify.com/show/73G84FVO6k5lIAaRWhzlUi?si=39f1a6ffbd444408 Learning about Amanda's therapy practice, Therapy for Women Center: www.therapyforwomencenter.com About Amanda: Amanda E. White is a licensed therapist and the creator of the popular Instagram account @therapyforwomen. She writes a substack called Fence Sitter. She is the author of the book “Not Drinking Tonight” and its corresponding workbook. She is the founder of the group therapy practice, Therapy for Women Center, based in Philadelphia serving clients across the country. She has been featured in notable publications such as Forbes, Washington Post, Shape, Women’s Health Magazine, and more.  To learn more visit amandaewhite.com __ Get the details and attend one of our Kids or Childfree workshops here: www.kidsorchildfree.com/workshop Check out our free resources here, or at kidsorchildfree.com/free-resources And don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review The Kids or Childfree Podcast if you love what you’re hearing! You can leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, or a rating on Spotify. Find us online at www.kidsorchildfree.com. Instagram: www.instagram.com/kidsorchildfree TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@kidsorchildfree

In this episode, Keltie speaks with colleague, Sina Scheithauer, about her experience being on the fence about kids; how she made her childfree decision; and her work as a coach helping women with the "kid question" in Germany, and beyond. The two of them discuss: The complexities of the Kids or Childfree decision, including societal expectations surrounding motherhood. How Sina's personal experience grappling with this choice led her to support others in similar situations. The idealization of motherhood and the pressures women feel to conform to traditional roles, plus, the undervaluation of motherhood in society. The implications of freezing eggs as a means to buy time. Why living a life aligned with personal values is crucial. Ethical dilemmas related to climate change and the Kids or Childfree choice. About Sina Sina Scheithauer is a Podcaster & Coach for the „Kinderfrage“ decision, living in Germany.  As mentioned in the show Tune into Sina's Childfree Coffee Club Podcast (in German) here.  Find Sina on Instagram at: www.instagram.com/sinascheithauer/ And on LinkedIn at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sina-scheithauer-2635a42aa/ Check out Sina's free „Kinderfrage Entscheidungs Quiz“ here: www.sina-scheithauer.de/quiz/ __ Details on my Clarity Booster offer, here: www.kidsorchildfree.com/claritybooster Check out our free resources here, or at kidsorchildfree.com/free-resources And don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review The Kids or Childfree Podcast if you love what you’re hearing! You can leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, or a rating on Spotify. Find us online at www.kidsorchildfree.com. Instagram: www.instagram.com/kidsorchildfree

In this episode, Keltie Maguire speaks with one of her long-time friends, Carly Church, about life as a new mom, and how Carly made her decision to have a child.  Keltie and Carly chat about: Carly's journey from single to meeting her partner, Mike; the experience of becoming a step-mom to Mike's two daughters — and how this relationship influenced Carly's own Kids or Childfree choice; and Carly's decision to become a mom. Carly's decision to freeze her eggs in her mid-30s — and why she's so happy she did.  Her experiences as a step-parent and a first-time mom, including the importance of partner support, and the challenges of navigating relationships with stepkids.  How Carly went from ambivalent about motherhood, to deciding to have a child — including the natural unfolding of her family life. The joys and challenges of motherhood and the impact on her identity and independence, thus far in her journey.  About Carly: Carly Church has a habit of choosing to swim against the tide. Trained as a Professional Engineer and then moving on to work across the globe in the mining industry she has often found herself blazing a trail for women in the industry. A love for travel, both recreational and as part of long-term rotations on mining projects from Botswana to the rather more chilly, Northern Ontario, defined Carly’s life in her 20s and 30s. Now a mother to James (0) and step-mother to Martha (11) and Edith (9), Carly is navigating how to balance the needs of her new family with the professional and personal pursuits which have always driven her. As mentioned in the show: Find Carly on Instagram: @cjcharlys __ Join the next round of our Kids or Childfree Group Program: www.kidsorchildfree.com/kids-or-childfree-program Check out our free resources here, or at kidsorchildfree.com/free-resources And don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review The Kids or Childfree Podcast if you love what you’re hearing! You can leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, or a rating on Spotify. Find us online at www.kidsorchildfree.com. Instagram: www.instagram.com/kidsorchildfree

In this conversation, Keltie Maguire and philosopher, Ruth Chang, explore the complexities of hard choices, and in particular, the decision to have kids or remain childfree. They discuss... The idea of drifting into decisions — and why it's a valid decision tactic. That hard choices aren't about finding the right answer, but about understanding one's values and making a commitment to a chosen path.  The nature of commitment and decision-making, and that commitment is not merely a rational choice based on pros and cons but an active agency that transforms our values and perspectives. Why commitment involves understanding who you can become, not just who you want to be. Plus, the importance of self-reflection in understanding who we can commit to becoming. The necessity of embracing uncertainty in the decision-making process. ...and lots more! About Ruth: Ruth Chang holds the Chair of Jurisprudence at the University of Oxford. Her expertise concerns philosophical questions relating to the nature of value, value conflict, decision-making, rationality, love, and human agency. She has shared her research in public venues including radio, television, and newspaper outlets such as National Public Radio, the BBC, National Geographic, and The New York Times. The institutions she lectured at or consulted for include Google, the CIA, the World Bank, the US Navy, the Bhutan government, Big Pharma, and many businesses and financial institutions. Her TED talk on hard choices has over nine million views. She is a member of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences. As mentioned in the show: Find Ruth online at ruthchang.net. Watch Ruth's TedTalk on hard choices: www.ted.com/talks/ruth_chang_how_to_make_hard_choices __ Join one of our upcoming Support Series sessions: Kids or Childfree Support Series: kidsorchildfree.com/kids-or-childfree-support-series Confidently Childfree Support Series: kidsorchildfree.com/confidently-childfree-support-series Check out our free resources here, or at kidsorchildfree.com/free-resources And don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review The Kids or Childfree Podcast if you love what you’re hearing! You can leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, or a rating on Spotify. Find us online at www.kidsorchildfree.com. Instagram: www.instagram.com/kidsorchildfree

In this episode, Keltie speaks with artist and dad, Tyler Pentland, who shares his journey of becoming a father through surrogacy. Hear the two of them discuss: Why Tyler never considered kids or fatherhood until he met his husband, Jeff, in his late 30s. The decision to have a child via surrogacy, including both the emotional and logistical aspects of growing a family in this way. The importance of establishing a foundation of communication and trust in the relationship with one's surrogate. The joy of becoming a parent, plus the surprises and challenges along the way. About Tyler: In Tyler's words: "I'm Tyler, an art kid who grew up in the Okanagan and went to Art & Design school. I worked in corporate design & marketing for 17 years while maintaining a strong connection to my painting practice, showcasing my artwork on social media and gallery spaces. Fell in love in 2019, married my husband & now partner in parenting the miracle that is our incredible sunshine of a daughter, Emerald." As mentioned in the show: Find Tyler online at www.artbytylerpentland.com. And on Instagram: instagram.com/artbytylerpentland __ Join one of our upcoming Support Series sessions: Kids or Childfree Support Series: kidsorchildfree.com/kids-or-childfree-support-series Confidently Childfree Support Series: kidsorchildfree.com/confidently-childfree-support-series Check out our free resources here, or at kidsorchildfree.com/free-resources And don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review The Kids or Childfree Podcast if you love what you’re hearing! You can leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, or a rating on Spotify. Find us online at www.kidsorchildfree.com. Instagram: www.instagram.com/kidsorchildfree

In this episode, Keltie Maguire speaks with Florence Wlodarski about Florence's Kids or Childfree journey — from ambivalence to IVF to embracing life without kids — plus, the inspiration behind PARALLEL, the social club Florence recently co-founded for those without kids.  Keltie and Florence discuss:  The societal expectations regarding motherhood and the pressures Florence faced to become a mom. Florence's decision to pursue IVF and the emotional complexities involved in that process. The experience of trying for a child, while still being on the fence about having one. Florence's reflections on identity and career that arose from her experiences. How Florence ultimately found peace and freedom in the decision not to have kids. The importance of community and connection, and how Florence and her husband co-founded Parallel Social Club, to support others in similar situations.  About Florence: Florence Chung Wlodarski is the Co-Founder of PARALLEL, a new social club and community based out of Los Angeles, designed for those doing life without kids. In her professional life, she spent more than 20 years building community engagement strategies and partnerships between Fortune 500 corporations, nonprofit organizations and government agencies (with a speciality working with law enforcement) in the U.S. Now she’s taking her experience and applying them to building a community for DINKs and SINKs. As mentioned in the show: Find Florence and Parallel Social Club online at parallelsocialclub.com. On Instagram: @parallelsocialclub __ Join the next round of our Kids or Childfree Group Program: www.kidsorchildfree.com/kids-or-childfree-program Check out our free resources here, or at kidsorchildfree.com/free-resources And don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review The Kids or Childfree Podcast if you love what you’re hearing! You can leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, or a rating on Spotify. Find us online at www.kidsorchildfree.com. Instagram: www.instagram.com/kidsorchildfree