
Gender: A Wider Lens
In this podcast, now in its fourth year, therapists Stella O'Malley and Sasha Ayad take a deep dive into the psychological and cultural forces impacting the social changes around "gender." Through interviews with researchers, doctors, therapists, parents, detransitioners, and others, Sasha and Stella's podcast is a "must listen" for anyone trying to navigate the current gender landscape. With their sharp analytical minds and deep compassionate hearts, Stella and Sasha have also become known throughout many parent networks as lighthouses in the midst of some very stormy seas. Previous guests include Helen Joyce, Jesse Singal, Leor Sapir, Kathleen Stock, Jamie Reed, Peter Boghossian and more. www.widerlenspod.com
Latest episodes

Sep 6, 2024 • 1h 11min
182 - What Exactly is a "Transcendent Sense of Gender"? with Alex Byrne
In this thought-provoking conversation, philosopher Alex Byrne, author of Trouble with Gender, delves into the evolving concept of gender. He dissects the historical myths surrounding gender and its implications for modern discourse. Byrne reflects on critical figures like Jack Turban, exploring the complexities of gender identity and its ties to dysphoria. The discussion also highlights the importance of understanding diverse gender experiences and the nuanced language that shapes societal perspectives today.

Aug 31, 2024 • 3min
Premium: When the Ideology Wanes, But the Dysphoria Remains
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.widerlenspod.comSome individuals experience gender dysphoria as a deep-seated issue that predates any ideological framework, profoundly affecting their self-perception, sexuality, and overall satisfaction in life. Contrary to the more superficial aspects of the popular gender-affirming model of care, it is crucial to reconcile the persistent and often distressing nature of gender dysphoria with a more holistic, self-accepting approach—one that avoids the trap of over-identifying with the problem. Healing should be approached with a focus on self-understanding and acceptance rather than rumination.However, can acceptance mask repression? There is value in moving beyond merely “normalizing” (or accepting) the discomfort to actively pursuing healing and repair from the distress caused by the body dysmorphia. This must be done with caution to avoid hyper-fixation. Navigating these feelings presents delicate challenges, as overemphasis can lead to further psychological distress. A balanced approach is needed to address the underlying discomforts effectively.In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Tali emphasizes the complexities surrounding gender dysphoria, particularly in the context of someone who has disengaged from a trans identity but continues to struggle with gender-related discomfort. She highlights the potential danger of repressing feelings related to gender dysphoria. And argues that while it's crucial not to over-identify with these feelings, simply repressing them can lead to deeper psychological issues. The underlying discomfort needs to be acknowledged and understood rather than dismissed or pushed aside, as repression could exacerbate the emotional and psychological distress associated with gender dysphoria.The Navel GaysWatch our full length episode with Tali at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-181For instructions on setting up a private feed to listen to our premium content in your favorite podcast app, visit https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/how-to-listen-to-our-full-premium.

Aug 30, 2024 • 1h 30min
181 - From Activist to Apostate–A Twisty-Turny "Gender Journey," with Tali
Tali shares her journey from an ardent activist deeply immersed in gender and identity politics to someone questioning and ultimately walking away from the dogmatic beliefs she once held. Her story is a roller coaster of conviction, self-discovery, and transformation, particularly as she navigates the complexities of having encouraged her wife towards a trans identity of her own.Listeners will gain insight into the mindset of passionate activists, the impact of societal pressures on personal identity, and the challenges of disentangling oneself from groupthink. This episode offers a glimpse into the delicate process of questioning deeply held beliefs and the reflection and critical thought essential to shifting perspectives.For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-181 Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/ Join Our Listener Community to Access Exclusive Content at https://www.widerlenspod.com/ Support the Show at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/support-the-show Join the conversation on YouTube at www.youtube.com/@widerlenspod For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups, visit:Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching To learn more about our sponsors, visit:Therapy First at https://www.therapyfirst.org/ Genspect at https://genspect.org/ This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

Aug 28, 2024 • 11min
Premium: Parenting A Son with AGP Traits
There remains a lingering stigma surrounding AGP specifically, but there’s a complexity to the breadth of proclivities, fixations and traits compelling certain behaviors and beliefs around sexuality and gender identity. And like discussed in The Many Roots and Presentations of Gender Dysphoria in Males, what might have otherwise remained latent in some males, has perhaps only been amplified by today’s internet-driven world. This is a special free release of one of our bonus episodes for premium subscribers! We hope you enjoy our conversation considering what it’s like for parents who are fearful, feeling isolated from their son’s experience gender dysphoria, and feeling trapped by the sensitive nature of the topic, specifically where AGP traits are involved. The discussion highlights the emotional challenges and societal stigmas faced by families navigating this sensitive topic.Watch our full length episode complimenting this bonus conversation: https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-180 For instructions on setting up a private feed to listen to our premium content in your favorite podcast app, visit https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/how-to-listen-to-our-full-premium. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

Aug 28, 2024 • 1h 10min
180 - The Many Roots and Presentations of Gender Dysphoria in Males
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT FROM OUR SPONSOR: Therapy First is hosting a live webinar August 29th at 7pm EDT. “Moral Injury and the Call to Recovery” with therapist, author and social scientist, Amber Ault, PhD. CLICK HERE TO REGISTER. *Therapy First has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider,ACEP No. 7505. This webinar provides 1.5 hours of CE credits.This episode is a special mid-week release! No special guest for this conversation, just an important and thoughtful exchange between hosts, Sasha and Stella, exploring some of the common and yet intensely complex manifestations of gender dysphoria in males. This discussion offers a careful examination of the broad psychological, developmental, and sexual dynamics shaping male identity, the effects of testosterone, and perceptions around gender roles.Stella and Sasha guide listeners through several frameworks for understanding different experiences of gender dysphoria in males, including autogynephilia (AGP), homosexual transsexual (HSTS), and rapid onset gender dysphoria (ROGD). It’s crucial to recognize that while diagnostic frameworks offer insight, they can oversimplify the complexities of human identity and behavior. Traits associated with AGP, HSTS, ROGD, or even neurodiversity, like autism, may overlap and interact in ways that are not fully understood, underscoring the need for a more integrated understanding that avoids overly simplistic categorizations and fosters more nuanced and optimized support.For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-180 Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/ Join Our Listener Community to Access Exclusive Content at https://www.widerlenspod.com/ Support the Show at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/support-the-show Join the conversation on YouTube at www.youtube.com/@widerlenspod For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups, visit:Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching To learn more about our sponsors, visit:Therapy First at https://www.therapyfirst.org/ Genspect at https://genspect.org/ This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

Aug 24, 2024 • 3min
Premium: Boys Need to be Taught About Sacred Masculinity
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.widerlenspod.comIn the wake of the feminist movement's significant progress, perceptions of masculinity have evolved profoundly. This shift brings to light crucial issues related to the natural growth and developmental experiences of young men and boys coming of age in contemporary culture. The impact of perceptions and expectations surrounding modern masculinity is intricately linked to mental health and personal wellness, presenting both significant challenges and opportunities for young men and boys as they navigate their evolving sense of identity. The pervasive influence of digital media, particularly pornography, underscores the pressing need for mindful approaches to sexuality and the development of a healthy masculine identity.In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Shane Cole emphasizes the importance of mindful sexual practices. He explores the concept of ‘sacred masculinity’ — how men can channel their inherent energy for positive societal contributions rather than ego-driven pursuits. He touches on the significance of reconnecting with nature as a means of grounding and healing, advocating for outdoor experiences as a powerful remedy for modern disconnection. Shane shares profound insights into fostering healthier relationships not just with oneself, but the broader community as well.For instructions on setting up a private feed to listen to our premium content in your favorite podcast app, visit https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/how-to-listen-to-our-full-premium.

Aug 23, 2024 • 1h 30min
179 - Healing From Sissy Porn and Gender Dysphoria with Shane Cole
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT FROM OUR SPONSOR: Therapy First is hosting a live webinar August 29th at 7pm EDT. “Moral Injury and the Call to Recovery” with therapist, author and social scientist, Amber Ault, PhD. CLICK HERE TO REGISTER (or visit therapyfirst.org/webinars for more information). *Therapy First has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider,ACEP No. 7505. This webinar provides 1.5 hours of CE credits.---Sasha and Stella welcome Shane Cole to the show for a riveting exploration of the intricate layers of male gender dysphoria. Shane's journey offers a powerful narrative of recovery, highlighting the unpredictable pathways of healing and the integration of both masculine and feminine aspects of identity. This important conversation uncovers the intricate and often misunderstood dimensions of gender dysphoria in males and the complex psychological impact of porn addiction.For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-179 Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/ Join Our Listener Community to Access Exclusive Content at https://www.widerlenspod.com/ Support the Show at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/support-the-show Join the conversation on YouTube at www.youtube.com/@widerlenspod For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups, visit:Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching To learn more about our sponsors, visit:Therapy First at https://www.therapyfirst.org/ Genspect at https://genspect.org/ This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe

Aug 17, 2024 • 4min
Premium: Standing Up for Women in Sports Again and Again, with Jennifer Sey
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.widerlenspod.comExplore themes of power dynamics in sports, the psychological toll of abusive coaching, and the cultural shift in how these issues are addressed today. In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Jennifer Sey shares about her experience as a gymnast and the broader culture of abuse and silence within the sport. Her journey from athlete to whistleblower, to author, and filmmaker is compelling and highlights the complexities of elite sports. She stands up and stands tall, carrying messages of resilience, the courage to speak out, and the importance of exposing toxic environments for the sake of future generations.Watch our full length episode with Jennifer Sey: https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-178For instructions on setting up a private feed to listen to our premium content in your favorite podcast app, visit https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/how-to-listen-to-our-full-premium.

Aug 16, 2024 • 1h 19min
178 - How Brands Influence Culture (For Better or Worse) with Jennifer Sey
Jennifer Sey, a former big brand marketing powerhouse and national gymnastics champion, engages in a thought-provoking conversation about the influence of woke capitalism on corporate messaging. She discusses the evolution of advertising, corporate HR's role in shaping culture, and the impact of Title IX adjustments on women in sports. Sey addresses body positivity and gender identity, critiquing how mainstream brands navigate these sensitive topics. Her insights challenge conventional narratives and promote deeper understanding of the complexities surrounding identity and marketing.

Aug 10, 2024 • 4min
Premium: How the Danish Rainbow Council Influenced Politics
Jesper Rasmussen, a strategic influencer in public policy, discusses his impactful work with the Danish Rainbow Council. He highlights the importance of balancing direct political action with efforts to shift public opinion and media narratives. Key topics include the hidden truths of gender-affirming care for minors and the potential iatrogenic effects of early interventions. Jesper shares his experiences in fostering dialogue and alliances that have significantly shaped the debate in Denmark's Parliament, emphasizing how public perception drives political action.
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