back from the borderline

Why does love feel most real when it hurts? When the tension, the pull, the rupture are the only things that makes you feel alive? If you’ve ever found yourself confusing emotional chaos for connection, this one’s for you.In this episode, we’re diving beneath the surface of your craving for intensity. The kind of love that leaves you anxious, off-center, and chasing closeness like a fix. This isn’t love. It’s a nervous system wired for unpredictability. It’s the echo of past wounds that made love feel unsafe, volatile, or earned through over-functioning. We’ll unravel the deeper patterns. The ones that don’t just keep you tied to toxic dynamics, but make the stillness of real intimacy feel foreign. We’ll talk about why safe love can feel boring, why peace can feel threatening, and how to start seeing these cravings for what they really are: old survival scripts dressed up as romance.This isn’t a self-help pep talk. It’s an invitation to see your pain clearly. To stop making a home in heartbreak. And to remember: stability isn’t the absence of passion. iIt’s the soil where real love finally has the chance to take root.Unlock my FULL ARCHIVE of members-only content + Patreon exclusives:PATHWORK → Weekly self-inquiry prompts to turn insight into transformation.THE CONSCIOUSNESS STREAM → Raw, unfiltered deep dives.THE DEEP CUT → Structured breakdowns of esoteric + psychological themes.BONUS EPISODES + RESOURCES → Hundreds of hours of hidden gems.Start exploring right now for FREE and see everything waiting for you at backfromtheborderline.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The same problems keep showing up in your life, don’t they? The same struggles, the same emotional triggers, the same conflicts that feel like they’re stalking you no matter where you go. What if they weren’t random? What if they weren’t about other people, or the situation, or even bad luck? What if they were the mirror of something deeper? Something unresolved within you, constantly showing up in the world until you face it?In this episode, we’re diving into the demonic forces that don’t just exist outside of you, but within. We’ll explore how unresolved psychic forces project outward, manifesting in your relationships, your career, your sense of self. These forces, often experienced as externalized “problems,” are really the unacknowledged shadows of your own psyche trying to get your attention.We’ll unravel the nature of these inner forces, and how they show up in our lives not as punishments, but as opportunities for transformation. But transformation doesn’t come from avoiding these forces, it comes from facing them. When we stop resisting the chaos, when we stop fighting the shadow, we begin to transmute it.So what if your struggles aren’t things to fear? What if they’re invitations to integrate and reclaim your own power? What if you could finally see the forces behind your recurring struggles, and choose to transform them? Sit with that. Press play. Let the transformation begin.🔓 UNLOCK THE FULL EPISODE + BONUS CONTENT: Want to keep listening? Get full access to this episode, ad-free listening, and my entire archive — plus exclusive Patreon-exclusive podcasts like The Consciousness Stream and The Deep Cut and access to Pathwork, my digital mystery school. Pro Tip: iPhone users should sign up through a browser (Safari or Chrome) to avoid Apple’s extra fees.🔗 CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODEMy full archive is available at patreon.com/backfromtheborderline Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You think you’re moving through life as yourself, but something is running beneath the surface. A frequency, a pattern, a program that shapes everything around you. It’s invisible to the naked eye - and even your conscious awareness - but it’s there, shaping your world, your relationships, your opportunities.But you’ve been blind to it. You’ve been living inside it, mistaking it for reality itself. Until now.In this episode, I’m not here to comfort you. I’m here to wake you up. To reveal the energetic archetypes that have been shaping how the world meets you without your knowledge. These archetypes - the Armored One, the Eternal Girl, the Unseen One - they aren’t who you are, but they’ve become how you move, how you interact, how you exist in the world.These patterns don’t define you. They never did. And the moment you see them for what they are, you can start to step outside of them. No more surviving on autopilot. It’s time to reclaim your sovereignty. Because the moment you see the program, you’re no longer just a character in it. You’re the one writing the story.Something is already shifting as you read this. The real work begins now. Press play. Unlock my FULL ARCHIVE of members-only content + Patreon exclusives:PATHWORK → Weekly self-inquiry prompts to turn insight into transformation.THE CONSCIOUSNESS STREAM → Raw, unfiltered deep dives.THE DEEP CUT → Structured breakdowns of esoteric + psychological themes.BONUS EPISODES + RESOURCES → Hundreds of hours of hidden gems.Start exploring right now for FREE and see everything waiting for you at backfromtheborderline.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You tell yourself you’ve grown. That you’ve done the work. That you’ve broken the cycle. So why does everything still feel the same? Why do the same frustrations, the same dynamics, the same patterns keep showing up, wearing different faces but delivering the same lesson you swear you already learned?In this episode, we’re cracking open the 'as if reality': the hidden belief shaping your life without your consent. The unconscious pattern that’s been scripting your choices, your relationships, your limitations. Not because you consciously believe it, but because it’s been running the show from below. We’ll unravel the illusions of control, the survival pacts you never realized you made, and the archetypal roles you’ve been unconsciously playing — The Wounded King, The Solitary Sovereign, the version of you that mistakes isolation for protection. And then, we’ll step into something new. The moment of rupture. The shift that happens not when you fight the pattern, but when you finally see it.So here’s the real question: If you woke up tomorrow and the belief was gone — if you were no longer living as if something false were true — what would be different?Sit with that. Press play. And let it land.🔓 UNLOCK THE FULL EPISODE + BONUS CONTENT: Want to keep listening? Get full access to this episode, ad-free listening, and my entire archive — plus exclusive Patreon-exclusive podcasts like The Consciousness Stream and The Deep Cut and access to Pathwork, my digital mystery school. Pro Tip: iPhone users should sign up through a browser (Safari or Chrome) to avoid Apple’s extra fees.🔗 CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODEMy full archive is available at patreon.com/backfromtheborderline Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

They taught you to fear your scars. To see them as proof of failure. To believe that if you could just erase the marks, you could go back. Back to before, back to whole, back to some untouched version of yourself. But purity is a myth. A story designed to keep you chasing something that never existed.This episode dismantles the obsession with being unmarked, untouched, unscarred. It traces how purity culture seeps into our relationships, our bodies, our self-worth - how we are sold the idea that healing means erasing the very things that shaped us. But you were never meant to stay the same. Your scars are not the weight you carry. They are proof that you are still here.Unlock my FULL ARCHIVE of members-only content + Patreon exclusives:PATHWORK → Weekly self-inquiry prompts to turn insight into transformation.THE CONSCIOUSNESS STREAM → Raw, unfiltered deep dives.THE DEEP CUT → Structured breakdowns of esoteric + psychological themes.BONUS EPISODES + RESOURCES → Hundreds of hours of hidden gems.Start exploring right now for FREE and see everything waiting for you at backfromtheborderline.com.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You’ve been taught that vulnerability is the path to intimacy. That the more you reveal, the closer you become. But does sharing everything really bring you closer? Or does it just leave you more exposed, more drained, more empty?In this episode, we’re pulling apart the myth of oversharing and exposing the unconscious drive behind it. The need to be seen, to be validated, to offload your pain onto someone else in the hope that they will carry it for you.We’ll dive into the Wounded Oracle, the part of you that mistakes your pain for your identity, that believes being vulnerable is the only way to prove you’re real. We’ll explore the Shadow’s Bargain — how oversharing becomes a transaction, where you exchange your secrets for the illusion of connection. And we’ll unpack the hidden cost of being so open, so raw, too soon. The way it creates unspoken power imbalances, how it can distance us instead of drawing us closer, and how sometimes the most vulnerable parts of us are meant to be kept sacred.So, what happens when we start sharing consciously? Not because we need someone to heal us, but because we trust ourselves enough to know what belongs to others and what doesn’t? Press play, and let the truth sink in.🔓 UNLOCK THE FULL EPISODE + BONUS CONTENT: Want to keep listening? Get full access to this episode, ad-free listening, and my entire archive — plus exclusive Patreon-exclusive podcasts like The Consciousness Stream and The Deep Cut and access to Pathwork, my digital mystery school. Pro Tip: iPhone users should sign up through a browser (Safari or Chrome) to avoid Apple’s extra fees.🔗 CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODEMy full archive is available at patreon.com/backfromtheborderline  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you caught in a cycle of longing and emotional chaos? Discover how limerence often masquerades as love, distracting you from inner healing. The discussion reveals that the obsession isn’t really about the other person, but rather unfulfilled emotional needs within yourself. Learn to break free from dependency and reclaim your emotional independence. With practical exercises and insights, this journey encourages self-acceptance and fosters authentic love, guiding you to fulfill your needs from within.

AI isn’t coming for your job. It’s coming for your mind.Psychiatry and artificial intelligence are merging faster than anyone is paying attention to. Not to help people, not to bring depth or insight into the human experience, but to categorize, control, and optimize. Mental health isn’t being reimagined. It’s being automated.What happens when AI decides your diagnosis before you ever step into a doctor’s office? When machine learning models scan your text messages, search history, and medical records and quietly assign you a psychiatric risk score that determines what access you have to therapy, medication, or even basic life opportunities? This is where we’re headed. The algorithms are being trained right now, absorbing decades of psychiatric frameworks that were never built for healing. Only classification.But this episode isn't just about exposing the dystopian path we’re on. It’s about choosing another one. There is a way AI could be used to help people wake up instead of shutting them down. It could be built as a tool for individuation, for shadow work, for shining a light into the blind spots of the unconscious. It could be the initiation modern psychiatry has denied people for decades.The inflection point is here. Do we let AI become the ultimate psychiatric gatekeeper? Or do we reclaim it before the machine starts rewriting our stories for us? Press play.GO DEEPER WITH HUNDREDS OF BONUS EPISODES + WEEKLY PATHWORK PROMPTS. Unlock my FULL ARCHIVE of members-only content + Patreon exclusives:PATHWORK → Weekly self-inquiry prompts to turn insight into transformation.THE CONSCIOUSNESS STREAM → Raw, unfiltered deep dives.THE DEEP CUT → Structured breakdowns of esoteric + psychological themes.BONUS EPISODES + RESOURCES → Hundreds of hours of hidden gems.Start exploring right now for FREE and see everything waiting for you at backfromtheborderline.com.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s time to get real about the stories you tell yourself and how they shape your emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. If you've ever felt trapped in an endless loop of self-help content, desperately searching for the magic fix to heal your inner wounds, this episode is for you. I've been there too, and I've learned that there's no magical algorithm that can fix us. In this episode, I'm going to share my own journey through the overwhelming sea of content and the core truths I've discovered. We'll explore how the narratives you create about your past can either imprison you in cycles of suffering or empower you to become resilient and whole. Whether you silently endure your pain or express your distress outwardly, this episode will offer you insights into reclaiming the power to write a new chapter in your life, free from the shackles of your past. Join me as we transform trauma-worlds into narratives of resilience and redemption. Let's embark on this journey together and start crafting the next compelling chapter of your life.Click here to read the full piece on my Substack.  Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back to our deep dive into the heart of dysfunctional family dynamics. This is the final episode of our series where each segment builds upon the last, further unraveling the complex roles that shape not just family life but our individual paths. If this is your first time joining us, consider starting with Episode 1, "Dysfunctional Family Roles – Part 1: Decoding the Dynamics of Dysfunction," to catch the full scope of our exploration. In this episode, we're capping off our series by examining two pivotal roles in the dance of family dynamics: The Peacemaker/Mediator and those with Narcissistic Traits. In this episode, we delve deep into these roles and their intricate interrelations—exploring how peacemakers often find themselves entangled with narcissistic behaviors, both overt and covert, and the profound impact these dynamics have on family systems. Why do some individuals take on the role of the peacekeeper, and how might this well-intentioned behavior enable narcissistic manipulation? How does covert narcissism mask itself as peacemaking, complicating the detection and understanding of these traits within familial relationships? We'll dissect these roles to understand the toll they take on those who bear them and the broader implications for the family. Drawing from real-life narratives, including personal accounts from Reddit, we explore the challenges and coping mechanisms of those enmeshed in these roles. From the overt displays of narcissism to the hidden agendas of the covert narcissist, we unpack how these dynamics play out in real-world settings, shaping everything from personal development to family equilibrium. Join me as we conclude our exploration, aiming not only to unveil the complex layers of these roles but also to provide insights and strategies for recognizing and breaking free from the dysfunctional patterns they often sustain. Let's peel back the final layers of family myths to reveal the stark realities that lie beneath, offering pathways to understanding and healing. TIME STAMPS: 04:34.69 – 41:32.16: PART 1 (Introducing the Peacemaker/Mediator role, its characteristics, impact on family dynamics, emotional and psychological toll, and common signs to identify peacemakers. Disclaimer on diagnosing personality disorders, understanding narcissistic traits, and discussion on overt narcissism.) 41:32.16 – 01:21:40.41: PART 2 (Exploration of covert and malignant narcissism, their characteristics, impact on relationships, covert narcissism deception, distinguishing between true peacemakers and covert narcissists, interaction dynamics, real-world implications, strategies for recognition and adaptation, cultural variations, and the impact on family dynamics. Concluding with a segment on healing and breaking free from dysfunctional family roles.) Enjoyed this episode? Explore more as a Premium Submarine. Dive deep into hundreds of hours of ad-free exclusive content and full-length episodes on Patreon, including my original BPD recovery series, guided meditations, and much more. Click here to preview the premium collections you’ll unlock access to for as little as a couple of cups of coffee a month. Learn more and join at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.