What would a meaningful life look like for you? According to Death Doula Alua Arthur, conversations about death can be the most enriching conversations we have. It’s not about accepting death, or avoiding grief - it’s about building a relationship with yourself and others that doesn’t hold anything back. Why should you listen? Yeah, because you’re mortal and one day you'll die, but more importantly: because one day, hopefully in the far off future, you’ll look back at this life you’ve lived. Conversations about death can make that life so much better.    7 things you’ll learn in this episode:    What’s a Death Doula?  Does being honest about death give you access to joy? Should you tell someone that they’re dying, or does that remove hope?  Why living each day like it’s your last is unrealistic (and what to do instead)  Should you reach for a “meaningful life”? Why hope sets you up for disappointment - and why hope is dangerous at end of life The linking of death and grief: Death and grief are married, but grief definitely dates around.  Related episodes:  Trauma Surgeon Dr. Red Hoffman on the surprisingly broad umbrella of palliative care   The co-founders of the New York Zen Center for Contemplative Care on supporting burnout & stress among healthcare professionals & caregivers   Notable quotes:  “I'm the only one who's going to have to contend with all the choices I made at my deathbed. Nobody else.” - Alua Arthur   About our guest: Alua Arthur is a Death Doula, recovering attorney, and the founder of Going with Grace, a Death Doula training and end-of-life planning organization that exists to support people as they answer the question, “What must I do to be at peace with myself so that I may live presently and die gracefully?” She’s been featured in the LA Times, Vogue, Refinery29, The Doctors, and alongside Chris Hemsworth on the docuseries, Limitless.    Find her at goingwithgrace.com and on Instagram @going_with_grace    About Megan:  Psychotherapist and bestselling author Megan Devine is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don’t call grief. She helms a consulting practice in Los Angeles and serves as an organizational consultant for the healthcare and human resources industries.  The best-selling book on grief in over a decade, Megan’s It’s Ok that You’re Not OK, is a global phenomenon that has been translated into more than 25 languages. Her celebrated animations and explainers have garnered over 75 million views and are used in training programs around the world.   Additional resources: The Going with Grace website Megan mentions this book -  Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia   Want to talk with Megan directly? Two options: apply for a 1:1 consultation through the contact form, OR Join our patreon community for live monthly Q&A sessions: either way… it’s your questions, answered.   Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s OK That You're Not OK and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed    Books and resources may contain affiliate links. Get in touch: Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of It’s OK that You’re Not OK. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, tag us on social with your thoughts, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right.    Follow the show on TikTok @itsokpod and use the hashtag #ItsOkPod on all social platforms   For grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok, and follow Megan on LinkedIn   For more information, including clinical training and consulting and to share your thoughts, visit us at megandevine.coSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Midlife has a lot of messy stuff in it: divorce, the death of your parents, menopause, health scares, empty nests, career changes, feeling increasingly irrelevant - “midlife” has terrible branding, according to author, modern elder, hospitality expert, and CEO and co-founder of Modern Elder Academy Chip Conley.    What if midlife (and beyond) could include an ever deepening sense of self and more satisfying connections - right alongside all that cascading loss?    Chip and Megan start out talking about midlife, and wind their way to the power of telling the truth about your own life. In the middle, there’s grief: scary diagnoses, the deaths of friends, a near death experience, and some personal wake up calls to the meaning of life.    It’s Ok that You’re Not Ok in the mixed bag of midlife.    6 things you’ll learn in this episode: How “hospitality” manifests itself inside grief (and life) How suicide deaths in your friend group impact the rest of your life What it’s like facing a cancer recurrence *just* as you’re feeling yourself come back to life Why community is crucial to our survival Coming out as a gay man in the 1980’s, and what coming out to yourself might mean now Why you want multigenerational relationships, no matter how old you are now Content note: this episode contains mention of suicide, along with brief mention of the method.    Related episodes: Baratunde Thurston on the power of community Notable quotes:  “One of the challenges with grief is the feeling like it will never end. If you can actually understand what it means to be in that messy middle, you can actually move through the grief more in a more natural, humane, and accelerated fashion.” - Chip Conley   “It is not required that you change the world because of what you've experienced in your life.” - Megan Devine   About our guest: Chip Conley is a strategic advisor for hospitality and leadership at Airbnb, founder of the Modern Elder Academy, which helps people in their ‘third age’ find a new path forward, and author of Wisdom @ Work: The Making of a Modern Elder. He was a founder board member for Burning Man. Find him on social @ChipConley About Megan:  Psychotherapist and bestselling author Megan Devine is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don’t call grief. She helms a consulting practice in Los Angeles and serves as an organizational consultant for the healthcare and human resources industries.  The best-selling book on grief in over a decade, Megan’s It’s Ok that You’re Not OK, is a global phenomenon that has been translated into more than 25 languages. Her celebrated animations and explainers have garnered over 75 million views and are used in training programs around the world.   Additional resources: Want to talk with Megan directly? Join our patreon community for live monthly Q&A sessions: your questions, answered. Chip’s book - Wisdom @ Work: The Making of a Modern Elder Modern Elder Academy Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl The Rumi Collection: An Anthology of Translations of Mevlana Jalaluddin Rumi   Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s OK That You're Not OK and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed    Books and resources may contain affiliate links. Get in touch: Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of It’s OK that You’re Not OK. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, tag us on social with your thoughts, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right.    Follow the show on TikTok @itsokpod and use the hashtag #ItsOkPod on all social platforms   For grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok, and follow Megan on LinkedIn   For more information, including clinical training and consulting and to share your thoughts, visit us at megandevine.coSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Look, there are some things in life - a LOT of things in life - that just can’t be fixed or made better, you have to figure out how you’re going to live with them. If you’ve ever felt othered and invisible because of an illness or disability - this episode is for you. If you’ve ever loved someone with a chronic illness, or you’re a medical provider in any capacity, this episode is 3000% for you. And if you’re grieving some other loss or hardship, you’ll recognize so much of yourself in this conversation: that human desire to be seen, loved, and supported, exactly as you are.    Sarah Ramey spent DECADES trying to find answers for why her body was falling apart. Her book, The Lady’s Handbook for Her Mysterious Illness, describes the complex, convoluted path through conventional and alternative medicines, her frustrations with being deemed a liar and hypochondriac, and the overlapping issues of misogyny, ableism, and well meaning but unhelpful support.    5 things you’ll learn in this episode:  What it’s really like having a chronic, invisible illness (and if you have one, you’ll feel seen!) How truly messed up the medical system is: Sarah’s years’ long efforts to be believed by doctors, and at a minimum: not be overtly harmed while seeking care How does being in a female body shift your odds of being believed - for ANYTHING, but especially mysterious, chronic illnesses?  Sarah’s music was featured in the hit show “Wednesday,” on Netflix. Can you be a successful musician and have a disability?  Why hope is a complex concept when your life is constrained by illness or disability (and why hope is still REALLY important) To join the next embodied writing course mentioned in the show, sign up at roottherapymaine.com Notable quotes:  So much of the experience of having one of these illnesses is sort of having to turn yourself inside to make everybody else be able to see what you can feel, but they can't see. - Sarah Ramey   There's just this incredible dehumanization that has sort of taken over medicine. If you have a problem that is disbelieved by medicine, it often feels like, why did I come at all? Why am I paying even a single dollar to be made to feel like I am a worthless, bad person, who's a liar and a malingerer? - Sarah Ramey   You have to start with believing what the people living it are telling you. Nothing else can happen unless you listen, and you believe. - Megan Devine  About our guest: Sarah Ramey is a writer and musician (known as Wolf Larsen). Her work has been featured in The Paris Review, NPR, The Atlantic, The Washington Post, Ms. Magazine, and the Netflix show, Wednesday. Her book, The Lady’s Handbook for Her Mysterious Illness was a starred selection for Publisher’s Weekly, Kirkus Reviews, and Booklist. Learn more at sarahmarieramey.com and wolflarsenmusic.com. Sarah has been living with serious chronic pain and illness for seventeen years.    About Megan:  Psychotherapist and bestselling author Megan Devine is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don’t call grief. She helms a consulting practice in Los Angeles and serves as an organizational consultant for the healthcare and human resources industries.    The best-selling book on grief in over a decade, Megan’s It’s Ok that You’re Not OK, is a global phenomenon that has been translated into more than 25 languages. Her celebrated animations and explainers have garnered over 75 million views and are used in training programs around the world.   Additional resources: To join the next embodied writing course mentioned in the show, sign up at roottherapymaine.com   Read Sarah’s memoir: The Lady’s Handbook for Her Mysterious Illness    Listen to Sarah’s solo album: Quiet at the Kitchen Door    Want to talk with Megan directly? Join our patreon community for live monthly Q&A sessions: your questions, answered.   Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s OK that You're Not OK and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed    Books and resources may contain affiliate links. Get in touch: Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of It’s OK that You’re Not OK. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, tag us on social with your thoughts, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right.    Follow the show on TikTok @itsokpod and use the hashtag #ItsOkPod on all social platforms   For grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok, and follow Megan on LinkedIn   For more information, including clinical training and consulting and to share your thoughts, visit us at megandevine.coSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Can you heal pain by focusing on joy?    Baratunde Thurston gave what’s been called “the greatest TED talk of all time.” He’s written about being Black in America, he’s got a podcast about community involvement called How to Citizen, and he’s got a television show that explores the beauty and diversity of America.    There’s a duality running through all of this work, and in Baratunde’s personal life: mourning and celebration. From the early death of a parent, to men’s emotional health, to violence against Black men and boys, to the healing power of play and community, this week’s episode is a fascinating discussion of both grief and celebration - and why you don’t get one without the other.    In this episode we cover:    Baratunde says he’s “wired for optimism” - which makes identifying his own grief… complicated Transactional emotions - for example, feeling your grief so you can “get beyond it” The need for Black male role models How you can lose a parent at a young age and not recognize the impact until you’re an adult Why seeing other people be good parents can bring up grief What it’s like to see violence against people who look like you - over and over and over Black joy and mens’ community (plus the hashtag #BlackMenFrolicking) Why is it hard to play as an adult - and find other adults to play with?  How to use your powerpoint slides to keep emotions in check (and why Baratunde isn’t using slides in his talks anymore)  The nature of our interconnectedness as a species and a planet  Notable quotes:  “I'm looking at other joyful, hopeful ways of being that don't require waiting for someone to (change), or accepting suffering as the main narrative. Those don’t fit me anymore. And so I acknowledge parallel paths to freedom - things like joy and silliness.” - Baratunde Thurston   “We're about men's business which is stoicism and pain and suppressed human experiences. That's what it is to be a man.” - Baratunde Thurston   “My hope is grounded in our creative possibility, in our own creativity. We can be destructively creative, but I also think we can be beautifully, you know - hopefully, creative.” - Baratunde Thurston About our guest: Baratunde Thurston is an Emmy-nominated, multi-platform storyteller and producer operating at the intersection of race, tech, democracy, and climate. He is the host of the PBS television series America Outdoors with Baratunde Thurston, creator and host of How To Citizen with Baratunde, and a founding partner of the new media startup Puck. His comedic memoir, How To Be Black, is a New York Times best-seller. In 2019, he delivered what MSNBC’s Brian Williams called “one of the greatest TED talks of all time.”    Baratunde serves on the boards of BUILD.org and the Brooklyn Public Library and lives in Los Angeles, California. Find more at baratunde.com About Megan:  Psychotherapist and bestselling author Megan Devine is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don’t call grief. She helms a consulting practice in Los Angeles and serves as an organizational consultant for the healthcare and human resources industries.  The best-selling book on grief in over a decade, Megan’s It’s Ok that You’re Not OK, is a global phenomenon that has been translated into more than 25 languages. Her celebrated animations and explainers have garnered over 75 million views and are used in training programs around the world.   Additional resources: Baratunde’s book - How to be Black  Baratunde’s TED talk How to Deconstruct Racism, One Headline at a Time  ‘America is addicted to watching me die…’ - Article in Puck  Black Men Frolicking Baratunde’s Podcast - How To Citizen PBS America Outdoors Baratunde’s website Baratunde’s media outlet, Puck.news Baratunde mentioned Valarie Kaur - get her book, See No Stranger, and tune in to her episode on It’s OK that You’re Not OK later this season   Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s OK that You're Not OK and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed    Books and resources may contain affiliate links. Get in touch: Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of It’s OK that You’re Not OK. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, tag us on social with your thoughts, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right.    Follow the show on TikTok @itsokpod and use the hashtag #ItsOkPod on all social platforms   For grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok, and follow Megan on LinkedIn   For more information, including clinical training and consulting and to share your thoughts, visit us at megandevine.co  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In a thought-provoking conversation, Dr. Gabor Maté, a renowned expert in trauma and author of "The Myth of Normal," explores the surprising connections between grief and politics. He discusses how personal trauma influences political behavior, using figures like Trump and Clinton as examples. The chat emphasizes the importance of acknowledging emotional distress in leaders and society, urging listeners to recognize the impact of systemic issues like racism on collective grief. This captivating dialogue invites a deeper understanding of our emotional landscape in political contexts.

Dive into a conversation with Dr. Gabor Maté about the importance of understanding grief for personal health. Explore how losing personal agency can lead to disease and why calling grief a disorder has broader implications. Discover the extraordinary ways elephants grieve and how their emotions mirror our own. The discussion highlights women's roles as emotional support and the need for society to embrace pain rather than ignore it. Can confronting suffering lead to genuine healing? Tune in for insights that challenge traditional views on resilience.

Season three begins Monday May 8th, with all new shows and amazing guests. Follow now so you don’t miss an episode!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What would be different if we could all just tell the truth about our lives?   Welcome to SEASON THREE of It’s OK that You’re Not OK: the podcast (formerly known as Here After with Megan Devine).    I started this show to talk about grief, and it’s grown to be so much more than that - it’s become a place for real conversations about life, and love, and loss, and even… hope.   In season three, episode zero, we cover the name change (FKA: Here After with Megan Devine), explore the worlds we create when we decide to talk about difficult things, and get a little preview of this season’s guests.    This season is FULL of deeply fascinating conversations with wonderful people. Guests include:   Baratunde Thurston on the twin arcs of grief and celebration that weave through his work as an author, speaker, and TV host.  Musician Sarah Ramey shares the joy of having her song featured in an episode of the hit series Wednesday, and the grief of being a person with a chronic illness in an industry that doesn’t care if you’re too sick to create more music.  Creative Live founder Chase Jarvis talks about whether a financially successful, able bodied white male is really allowed to feel grief or exhaustion.  Trauma expert Dr. Gabor Maté describes how disallowing grief creates a disconnected, often violent world - and of course, what we can do about it.  And so many more conversations with kind, thoughtful people, like Rachel Cargle, Maggie Smith, Valarie Kaur, Pooja Lakshmin, Bill McKibben… the list is long, and I can’t wait for you to meet them all.    About your host:   Psychotherapist and bestselling author Megan Devine is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on grief, from life-altering losses to the everyday grief that we don’t call grief. She helms a consulting practice in Los Angeles and serves as an organizational consultant for the healthcare and human resources industries.  The best-selling book on grief in over a decade, Megan’s It’s Ok that You’re Not OK, is a global phenomenon that has been translated into more than 25 languages. Her celebrated animations and explainers have garnered over 75 million views and are used in training programs around the world.   Additional resources:   Want to talk with Megan directly? Join our patreon community for live monthly Q&A sessions: your questions, answered.   Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s OK That You're Not OK and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed  Get in touch:   Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of It’s OK that You’re Not OK. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, tag us on social with your thoughts, and share the show with everyone you know. It’s OK that You’re Not OK - you’re in good company.    Follow the show on TikTok @itsokpod and use the hashtag #ItsOkPod on all social platforms   For grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok, and follow Megan on LinkedIn   For more information, including clinical training and consulting and to share your thoughts, visit us at megandevine.co  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Reflecting on the past season and looking forward to the future, the speaker explores the meaning of hope and its importance in their life. The chapter also includes information on how to engage with the podcast hosts through their Patreon community and previews the upcoming season.

We’re on break, creating all new episodes for season 3. In the meantime, here’s one of our favorite episodes from the past year. See you soon.   Nobody likes to talk about pet loss… but everybody wants to talk about pet loss. What a difficult scenario that is! Veterinary oncologist Dr. Renee Alsarraf joins us to talk about grief, professionalism, and the importance of being human - on the job and off.    In this episode we cover:    The whole truth about loving - and losing - your pets The terrible advice Dr. Renee Alsarraf’s grad school teacher gave her (and why she refused to listen)  Why veterinarians and other professionals should really NOT check their human emotions at the door When it’s time to welcome a new love into your life (human or otherwise) How Dr. Alsarraf’s experience with veterinary oncology did (and didn’t) prepare her for her own cancer diagnosis Click here for the episode webpage. Notable quotes:    “I think we tend to see our pets - especially when they're ailing - more like our little babies, and so we want to protect them. That's our innate role. And yet we can't protect them from the inevitable. That's really hard.” - Dr. Renee Alsarraf   “You can't push emotions down and expect them to not pop back up in other places.” - Megan Devine   About our guest:  Dr. Renee Alsarraf is a veterinary oncologist, lecturer, and philanthropist. Her new book Sit Stay Heal is a moving and uplifting memoir of an esteemed veterinary oncologist fighting to save her four-legged patients while making sense of her own unexpected cancer diagnosis.   Find Dr. Alsarraf on IG @reneealsarraf  and read more about her book at sitstayhealbook.com Get in touch: Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of Here After with Megan Devine. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, send in your questions, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right.    Have a question, comment, or a topic you’d like us to cover? Visit megandevine.co   For more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at www.megandevine.co   For grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok   Want to talk with Megan directly? Join our patreon community for live monthly Q&A sessions. All the info at this link.    Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s OK That You’re Not OK and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.