Date Your Wife

Get ready for a spicy conversation in this week’s brand new episode of the Date Your Wife Podcast with married co-hosts, Garrett J and Danielle K White, who are preparing to enter a new chapter of their life with the arrival of baby Isla in eight weeks. Join them as they candidly discuss the challenges that come with pregnancy and the seasons & chapters the births of each of their children have opened up for them. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: Pregnancy Desert The White’s are in full-on pregnancy mode as they enter the eight-week countdown for the arrival of baby Isla who is due to arrive mid-July 2019. Danielle has reached the mega uncomfortable stage where some mornings she struggles to roll out of bed, while Garrett admits they’re in the pregnancy desert when it comes to sex. “The last eight weeks, I literally transform into some kind of cartoon character. My body starts to retain water and it just gets super ugly. It’s rough. QUESTION Describe what life has been like in the home stretch phase of your pregnancies. Point #2: His & Her Sacrifices When a woman is pregnant, the physical sacrifices she makes to carry and birth that baby are both substantial and obvious. The sacrifice men make, not so obvious. But Garrett says the sacrifices are nonetheless all too real and mostly go unnoticed and are not taken seriously. “As a guy, being in the homestretch is a very interesting game. How do I not be a dick and show up in a selfish way, and at the same time, how do I maintain and manage what I’m up to and what I’m about? When our wives are pregnant, we have no leg to stand on. And inside of that, there’s some serious stuff that goes on for us.” QUESTION What is the “unspoken” shit you go through as a man when your wife is pregnant? Point #3: Roll Me Over Danielle has good days and bad days. Sometimes she barely notices she’s pregnant until she goes to get out of bed and feels like a potato bug stuck on its back. “It takes a lot of energy to be pregnant, and I feel like every ounce of energy I give has to be more focused. Even though I’m operating at fifty percent, that fifty percent is pretty damn good because I make sure whatever energy I put out is worth my time.” QUESTION Ladies, how is your energy when you’re pregnant? How does it affect your everyday routine? Point #4: Suck It Up Phase As a man watching his wife go through pregnancy, Garrett feels super-protective and super supportive, yet he almost feels like they are in a holding pattern …even though they’re not. “I feel like, at some point, you and I lose connection through the pregnancy phase… but not in a bad way.” “It’s almost like we’re in a season of war where there are war rules and peace rules. During war, there’s a different set of principles. As a husband, I’m trying to stay active in the game and at the same time, support Danielle in whatever ways she needs. We’re in the homestretch of the ’suck it up’ phase.” QUESTION What does your ‘suck it up” phase look like?   Point #5: Why Do You Stay? Each child’s arrival into the White home has brought new life and a new chapter into their lives, and they feel baby Isla will do the same. “Every child has come at a different season in our life – Parker with my first wife, then Bailee right before things were about to fall apart, and then Ruby. Without the birth of Ruby, I don’t think we make it.” Danielle: I feel like a lot of times, women stay in relationships because of the children, or they use that as their excuse. Really, they just crave security, and that’s why they stay. And that’s kind of how it was with Ruby. She kept us together. Women want safety and security, no matter what form that comes in. QUESTION When things got tough in your marriage, what part did the children play in keeping you together and weathering the storms? Communication Challenge: Do you think men make sacrifices when their wives are pregnant? Why or why not? Date Night Topic: Have a conversation about the different seasons and chapters you entered after the births of each of your children. Quote of the Week: “Marriage itself is a game of seasons, and each season demands a different set of skillsets. But the one thing that has to always be there are two people who are showing up and offering as much as they can.” —Garrett J White “When you’re making a decision, don’t come up with excuses. Literally, look where you’re at and decide to make a decision that’s going to best support you. In supporting yourself, you support others. Not supporting yourself is actually selfish.” —Danielle K White

In today’s episode, Garrett and Danielle tackle the topic of parenting after just returning from an epic family vacation in Maui. As much as they love spending time together as a family, there’s still guilt that comes as they juggle creating & building their business empires with raising and spending quality time with their children.  *This is a previously aired episode from February 27, 2018. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Mommy and Daddy Guilt Garrett: I was stuck inside the story that everything I was doing was fucking up my kids and messing with their future.  As a businessman this is a real killer because we are so busy with our businesses, how do we deal with the guilt and shame of not showing up as a father in a way that is actually connected or makes you feel good? Danielle felt guilty as a mom, especially when she was a younger mom micromanaging everything and always feeling like she always had to be there for her kids. Many women have a really hard time spending money or time on themselves, which can make going out on dates with their husbands extremely stressful, especially when you have really young kids. QUESTION How has playing the guilt card suffocated your relationship? What are some ways you can begin letting go and freeing yourself of guilt and shame? Point #2: Out of the Mouths of Babes During the podcast, their 11-year-old daughter makes a surprise appearance via telephone, candidly answering questions posed by her parents. When asked about vacations as a family: “I think it’s important because you get time off from work and get to spend time with us for a whole week instead of just seeing us after school, after your Date Nights, or in the morning.”  Danielle has fought hard for the vacations. She sees them as a time to reconnect as a family, create memorable experiences for everyone, and as a way to establish family traditions. QUESTION What are some of your favorite memories of family trips or vacations you have taken? Point #3: Fulfillment Comes From Purpose Garrett and Danielle both have a Purpose beyond each other and a Purpose beyond their parenting. That Purpose fulfills both of them individually, then that individual connection with themselves connects with each other as a couple, and that ‘couple love’ spreads down into their children. As they are more often on the same page, and more ok with the idea of who they are as individuals, this has opened up the possibility for their children to see a new path for living. At the end of the day, parenting is about role modeling how to live. The one skillset that you should give your children?  How to powerfully live the truth of who they are. QUESTION What Purpose have you found for yourselves individually beyond your relationship or children? How can you support each other in living that more fully? Point #4: Make Time For Each Other We have this faulty belief system that says my marriage must come secondary to the raising of my children. We think that somehow the raising of our children will happen with more power from a couple that’s disconnected, doesn’t love each other, aren’t having sex, and are not communicating. While in Maui, about 90% of the couples staying at the Four Seasons were in their late 50s and 60s, completely bored with and disconnected from each other, and questioning if they even wanted to stay together. They had lost themselves inside of the focus on their children. QUESTION What can you begin doing in your marriage to prevent yourselves from becoming a statistic when the kids are grown?  Point #5: Date Night is Non-negotiable Danielle wasn’t always a passionate advocate of Date Night. Garrett had to fight for what has now become normal inside of their relationship: weekly Date Nights. He cautions men that it’s not going to be easy at first – you’re going to have a wife that is dealing with all of the guilt and emotions surrounding the stress of leaving the kids with a babysitter, not to mention reconciling the cost of the entire evening. Gentlemen, take charge and make this shit happen! Don’t make Date Nights negotiable. Put your crown on, pick up your shield & your sword, and fight for the shit required to put your relationship back on track. A couple of resources to help you with that: care.com and warriorbook.com QUESTION When was your last Date Night? Communication Challenge: Discuss the actions you feel inspired to take after listening to today’s podcast. Date Night Topic: 1 – Go on a Date Night to schedule Date Nights. 2 – Have a conversation about the guilt that you may be experiencing individually and as a couple. Quote of the Week: “I would have you consider that the greatest parenting you could offer your children is to demonstrate a great relationship with your partner. You want to be a better father? Then date their mother. You want to be a better father? Then make love to their mother. You want to be a better father? Then show them the example of what it is to be a man fighting for a relationship and for a marriage.” —Garrett J White “You chose to get married. You chose to have a family. There’s connection with  your spouse and there’s connection with each of your children. You will always be their mom, but you’re not always going to be their parent. As you find some Purpose and Passion in your life, it’s not going to take away from anything that you will give your kids. In fact, it will give more to your kids. Allow yourself permission to let go of that guilt and find something for yourself.” —Danielle K White

Garrett and Danielle have a conversation about the three components necessary in order to create favorable conditions for communication inside your marriage. *This is an encore presentation of a previously aired episode from 2018. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: The Mirror in the Closet Danielle has a mirror and bench inside her closet which comes in handy for the “get it done” sex. “It’s a good view for us both: He’s got his mirror and I’ve got my shoes,” says Danielle. Garrett: It’s awesome. Not only is it great sex, but it’s also visual content and stimulus for my mind for days. QUESTION How can you spice up your “get it done” sex? Point #2: Date Your Wife Podcast  Garrett came to Danielle last year at this time and told her they were going to be doing a weekly podcast called Date Your Wife. At the time of this recording, they are ready to hit their 50th episode which represents at least 25 hours of communication. Garrett: The podcast was a favorable condition that we created with time, energy, and money, and has proven to be the best therapy of all time for us. QUESTION What favorable conditions have you created in order to have better communication with your spouse? Point #3: Lacking Sex? If you’re a guy and sex is not happening, it’s a guarantee that what is also not happening is communication – direct, intimate communication which is the ability to communicate and connect. If you have not invested time, energy, or money to create those conditions, then you also cannot be entitled to the results that come through sex and connection. QUESTION Where in your relationship are you investing money and energy, but not time? Point #4: Date Night You must create favorable conditions for communication on your dates. If you are always going out with friends and family for your Date Nights, that is not an environment where the two of you are able to have deep, intimate conversation. Garrett enjoys getting together with other couples about once a month, but anything more than is too much, even if they’re good friends because it turns into Team Girls and Team Guys instead of the one-on-one time together that they are desiring on their dates. QUESTION What has been your Date Night pattern? Point #5: Time, Energy, and Money If you’re going to create communication, you must be willing to create favorable conditions for communication. You’re going to have to invest time, energy, and money at some level, whatever it is. Many men will not invest the time and energy, but will invest the money, or will invest the time and energy, but not invest any money. All three components of the Trifecta must be present. QUESTION What portion of the Trifecta are you missing? Communication Challenge: Figure out how you’re going to create favorable conditions for communication inside your marriage. Date Night Topic: What can you add to your sex life to spice up those times when you have the “let’s get it done” sex? Quote of the Week: “You must be willing to invest to create favorable conditions for communication to exist.” —Garrett J White “Women look to men for safety and security. In reaching for that safety and security you have to look inward and realize that you are part of creating your own safety and security inside of that relationship.” —Danielle K White

In This Week’s Podcast…MONEY Point #1: Saving & Investing As Danielle steps back and looks at their amazing businesses and lifestyle, she is curious if there is a way to start putting more money into other areas, like savings, in addition to life insurance. She wonders if she is ignoring signs from their past mistakes, knowing that their current lifestyle is more abundant than ever before. Garrett: My wife has pushed for our life to rise over and over again. At this point, we save more money than we’ve ever saved in our whole lives. I’ve also gone from the only place where I would invest is in the business, and have moved into the place of investing in the family. Ask Yourself:  How are you doing in the area of savings? Point #2: Obsession The challenge inside of marriage when it comes to the topic of money is this: making money, growing money, keeping money, and leveraging money. Seventeen years ago, after reading the book ‘Rich Dad, Poor Dad,’ Garrett realized for the first time that he could make money and became obsessed with it. He went back and forth between the hustle mode of making money and the phase of growing money as he built teams and processes which led him to the game of keeping money. Over the past several years he has invested and put strategies into place which have benefited them in massive ways inside their bank accounts and savings vaults. Ask Yourself: Where are you as a couple when it comes to making & keeping money? Point #3: Building a Legacy Danielle: We live an amazing lifestyle. I’m at the point where I want to be able to build a legacy; an empire. If we stopped working ten years from now, I want to know that we could still live our amazing lifestyle for years to come plus help our children if we needed to. My parents live well but they can’t stop working. My dad is 69 and is still building custom homes because they have to continue working to maintain their lifestyle. I look at both of our parents and don’t want to live like either of them. Ask Yourself: What do you ultimately desire? Point #4: A Team Effort Danielle: Ladies, money is a tough conversation. Whether you’re a woman who can take care of herself, or you’re the Mom CEO of the family, it’s nice to have a guy that takes care of you. I also want to be a part of this team effort and part of the decisions. I don’t want to sit on the sidelines and be naive about what’s going on. Ask Yourself: How do you handle money decisions in your relationship? Point #5: Maintain Or Increase? Garrett to Danielle: Would you be willing to maintain our current lifestyle even though our businesses are increasing in revenue? We would maintain our current game, and everything else would go pure cash with no expense increase whatsoever in our personal lifestyle over the next five years. We would not change homes or cars and we would just keep the same game. We would put all the money away that you want to put away without having to up the standard, meaning… two bags, not nine. Ask Yourself: What are you willing to do in order to be able to put money away? Communication Challenge: Have some conversations with your spouse about the game of money: making, growing, keeping, and leveraging money. Date Night Topic: If the money were to suddenly stop coming in, how long would you be able to live your current lifestyle without changing anything? Quote of the Week: “This podcast isn’t about having all the answers for you but rather a conversation where we’re in a place of figuring shit out as we go.” -Garrett J. White “When I’m seventy years old, I want us to be working because we’re passionate about it and we are choosing to – we have a purpose behind it – not to just pay the fucking bills.” -Danielle K. White

In this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, co-hosts Garrett J and Danielle K White are coming to you from the 38th-floor inside a corner suite of the Four Seasons in Las Vegas where they are celebrating Danielle’s 36th birthday. This week’s conversation is about how the unification of your standards with your spouse builds the ultimate standard, and how you can’t pull that off unless you have actually connected with your own standard. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…COMMUNICATION Point #1: Standards One of the gifts of being married is that we each come into it with radically different standards for life. We have standards about sexuality, parenting, making money, how we spend our time, etc., based upon our past, how we were raised, and our mindsets. Danielle: I do have a high standard based upon how I was raised but what I also notice is that I’m an extremely experience-based, detailed person which makes me hold things to a different level or standard than most people. QUESTION What are some standards you hold yourself to? Point #2: Tolerance We tolerate what our standards are. Where this ends up in collision is inside of marriage due to the different standards of each spouse. Garrett has a standard of emotional connection, which is leaving people better than when you first meet them, something that comes very natural for him. Danielle, on the other hand, will tolerate almost no communication with other people. QUESTION What are some of the differing standards inside your marriage which have been a source for collision? Point #3: It Takes Two to Tango Garrett: Without my standards for communication, Danielle would have limited her communication. She never would have launched a podcast in the hair industry, nor would have launched her own salon or training company. Danielle: I hold the standard of where we live and what we wear. When I push to get nicer things in life, we push more in business. And when we push more in business, it not only affects our family but it also creates multiple job opportunities for multiple families. QUESTION What have your differing standards created inside of your world? Point #4: Own Your Standards Garrett: We take a stand for each individual to own their identity, where neither one is a doormat or a steamroller but where we both come to terms with who we are. My standards say we do one thing and Danielle’s standards say we do another. As you come to own your standards, it allows you to actually embrace the standards of other people. Together, you create this ultimate standard as a couple. You begin to be more committed to each other, and out of that is birthed something deeper than love, which is respect. QUESTION How has owning your individual standards created the ultimate standard inside your marriage? Point #5: Co-creation Garrett: The standards across both sides of co-creation have allowed for Danielle and I to build our brands, our businesses, and our family. The unique side about all of this is there are very few powerful couples taking a stand for marriage that works, which requires you to be clear in your standards. Danielle: I’m realizing that in managing our own empires and managing a marriage – and managing it well – it’s kind of unheard of. We each have huge visions for our brands and we’re proving that it can be done; that we can have those individual standards but also come together to create more as a couple. QUESTION What have you been able to co-create as a couple that you most likely never would have on your own? Communication Challenge: Where can you push in your relationship to become more together, to grow together, and unite as a couple? Date Night Topic: What can you create as a couple by uniting your individual standards? Quote of the Week: “The mix of standards between a married couple blend together to create the ultimate cocktail of creation.” —Garrett J White “I think we push each other in all the right ways. I think that’s what a relationship is supposed to be: pushing one another to a healthy place.” —Danielle K White

In this week’s topic of Money, Garrett and Danielle explore the idea that the best return on investment you can make is that of time and experiences with your spouse and children. They share stories and tips on how to pull this off successfully, no matter what circumstances you may currently find yourself in. *This is an encore presentation of a previously aired episode. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…MONEY Point #1: Feeling Like An ATM or Piece of Ass? Inside the game of Relationship, money itself is a controlling tool for most men. Men use money to control women, and women use sex to control men. At the end of the day, this seduction loop leaves many men feeling that the only validation they get is when they make the money, leaving them feeling like an ATM machine. The wife can be feeling like she’s ‘just a piece of ass’ and an unpaid slave. Taking care of the home and the children is a full-time job in and of itself, worth a lot more money than many men are giving their wives permission to spend. QUESTION What actions tend to follow when you feel like an ATM or a piece of Ass inside your marriage? Point #2: Unplug and Let Go Women understand that men have worked all day yet want them to unplug from work and just be present with the family when they are home. Men feel like their day never ends. They come home from a long day of work and then are expected to be fully present with their wife and children. Garrett: I want to spend time with you, not the stressed-out version of you that’s worrying about cleaning the fucking house right now. I don’t want a fucking checklist of things to clean. I want to be with you. QUESTION What do you do that helps you transition from work to home in becoming present with your spouse and children? Point #3: What’s Your Story? Garrett: There are going to be guys with stay-at-home wives up in arms about this, saying, "What?! Let me get this shit straight. I’m going to go pay somebody to come into my home to clean and do the laundry? That’s the woman’s job. She has to do that. That’s why she’s home!" What if you questioned the story that ‘my wife’s the one that’s supposed to clean and make dinner, and it’s the guy’s job to mow the lawn.’ Who made up these rules anyway? QUESTION What stories are you hanging onto about the different roles of men and women that are hindering your ability to grow together? Point #4: Spend Money to Buy Time Garrett: One of the ways you can use money as a man inside your home and inside of being together as a couple is to use your money in a way that buys the thing for the family that gives them what actually matters: time.  There’s this transition that comes with being willing to spend money to buy time. Danielle: People get emotionally bogged down over the stupidest shit. No matter what role you play in your family (working mom, stay at home mom, community mom) there are all of these little things that could lift the weight off our shoulders, relieving tension and guilt, and freeing up more time to spend with the family…which is so worth it to me. QUESTION Where in your life could you make some little adjustments that would free up more time to spend together as a couple or as a family? Point #5: Your Family Is An Investment Garrett: Gentlemen, I’m going to have you consider that the greatest rate of return is to make sure that you stay together as a family. One of the ways to pull this off is to create conditions for your wife to actually have more opportunities. Garrett started looking at their marriage like a business where Danielle became an asset inside of this business. He was willing to hire people to come into their home to free up time so that the family could do more things together. QUESTION How are you investing in our family in terms of  dollars, time and experiences? Communication Challenge: At the end of the day, if your money doesn’t serve you and your marriage and family, then what is the point in having it? Date Night Topic: What are some of the investments you can make regardless of the amount of money you have? How are you going to take some dollars this week to buy some more time for you and your family so that you can have the time and experiences that matter? Quote of the Week: “You tell me where you’re going to get a higher rate of return: money in your 401k plan, or money in a babysitter to watch your children while you take your wife out on a date?” —Garrett J White “Guilt is the #1 destructive thing. It’s the enemy; it does not serve you. If you find yourself feeling guilty, ask yourself: How can I let go of this guilt? How can I change this story? Find your balance, find out how to let go of the guilt, and more importantly, learn how to create a story that serves you best.” —Danielle K White

Amidst the recent announcement from the White’s twelve-year-old daughter that she is through with school and no longer wants to attend – with viable and compelling evidence to back up her stance & position – Garrett & Danielle jump into a conversation that explores the idea of schooling vs education as they compare today’s world of accessible technology to the period in which they grew up. Also, be sure to listen to find out how you can become part of next week’s show. ______________________________________________________________ Every week, married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…PARENTING Point #1: PROCRASTINATION As a procrastinator in High School, Danielle was someone who never turned in her homework and was on the verge of not graduating until she was able to pull off some eleventh-hour shenanigans. “I didn’t care about doing homework. I didn’t see the point of doing it.” Now, as an adult, Danielle regrets that “I didn’t learn how to learn and instead always found a way around doing the work.” She sees herself as very intuitive but sees Garrett as 100% more book-smart than she is. “He likes to read, he can quote all sorts of things, and he is really smart. I’ve kind of envied that about him.” QUESTION What habits and patterns did you have when you were going to school? Did they help or hinder you? Point #2: AT THEIR FINGERTIPS The landscape of today’s learning has shifted completely from when Danielle and Garrett attended school. With technology at their fingertips, kids today can learn just about anything, anytime. Garrett: “At their age, our kids are way fucking smarter than we were. They have more data in their brains; more points of reference. And they have access to shit that we didn’t. From the time Ruby was four or five years old, she has been asking Siri questions about everything!" QUESTION What do you see as the pros and cons of how you learned in the past compared to how your kids are learning today? Point #3: GENIUS DROP-OUTS Many successful entrepreneurs and creators either dropped out of school or didn’t finish school in the traditional sense. These include the creators of IKEA, APPLE, and Facebook. “Pretty much every major tool you use right now was built by a school dropout.” Garrett: As I look at what kids study in school, my thought is they might be better off studying Facebook ads, direct-response marketing, and persuasion & influence. When you look inside our families alone, the people with the least amount of education have made the most amount of money. QUESTION What has been your experience with this?   Point #4: AN ABUNDANCE OF POSSIBILITIES Garrett: Imagine if, in the next six years, we spent three hours a day focused on turning our daughter into a weaponized speaker, marketer, and salesperson. And on top of that, she had the traditional reading, writing, and math, with the rest of the day filled with singing, art, playing the piano, and participating in team sports. Danielle says she doesn’t have any real answers right now but that she does have a lot of questions. “This is a frustrating topic that came up for us on Date Night. I feel like Garrett and I are on both sides of the spectrum. We value learning and we value work, but do we value the traditional ways of school?” QUESTION What are your feelings regarding the abundance of possibilities in education available to your child in today’s world?   Point #5: OPENING DOORS Danielle: As a parent, we wonder if we’re leading our children in the right direction. Does the Universe manifest a path that they should take? Or, are we supposed to assist and open doors for them along the way? Garrett: Part of our job is to open the doors and let them explore different rooms. While there are plenty of doors they’re going to open themselves, as a parent, you open the door and watch what your child does. QUESTION What doors are you opening up for your children? What doors were opened up for you? What have been the results? Communication Challenge: Next week’s topic is, “Babies: When do you know it’s time to have a baby? When do you know it’s time to stop having babies?” If you would like to be part of that conversation or have a question/ comment on this, please send an audio clip to garrett@wakeupwarrior.com. We’ll throw you in the mix and play your audios on the air. Men, we want to hear from you! Date Night Topic: On your date this week, have a conversation around the different ways you learn. Are you more of an incessant reader and highlighter, or are prone to listening to podcasts and watching videos? Are you a little bit of each? Quote of the Week: “Parker does a great job, not because he’s my son but because of who he is. Did I open the door? Sure!” –Garrett J White “Is it personality or path? Is it circumstance or timing? Are we put on this earth and literally ordained to have a certain path? Does everyone have an equal opportunity? I think at some level, everyone is given the opportunity to find it within themselves and that that’s the point of life.” –Danielle K White

Garrett and Danielle have a conversation about momentum in this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. It has taken many years for the White’s to get to a place where they are experiencing momentum in all areas of their life and share with their listening audience through stories and experiences what has brought them to the place where, only a few short years ago, they wondered if they would even make it. *This is an encore presentation of a previously aired episode. ______________________________________________________________ Every week, married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week’s Podcast…MONEY Point #1: Tipping Point Danielle feels like her business has hit a tipping point, leading her to the conclusion that it’s the small things in life that push people forward. She questions why so many people are not consistent with those small things that create momentum, knowing they would ultimately lead them to the outcomes they desire. QUESTION Where in your world have you experienced the momentum of the tipping point? Point #2: Marriage Is a Lifestyle Anything great takes a fucking long time to build. When people see the White’s and their success, they begin wanting that in their marriage and become frustrated when it doesn’t happen on their timetable. Garrett: The number of years that you were a dumb-ass and caused a lack of momentum or momentum in the wrong or weak direction, is not going to be turned around in two days. The fundamental disciplined habits must be changed and maintained over time. QUESTION How can you demonstrate more patience in your marriage? Point #3: Merry-Go-Round Marriage is like a Merry-Go-Round: It takes great effort to get it moving at first as you grab on with both hands and push hard. Pretty soon you can give it a little push and it keeps going because momentum has kicked in. Inside of marriage, many people kill the momentum by quitting before they hit the tipping point. Others experience momentum but take their eyes off the prize, losing the edge and the momentum they have gained. QUESTION Where is your relationship within this conversation of the Merry-Go-Round? Point #4: Gaining Momentum The fastest way to gain momentum is to start going on dates every single week. Start taking your wife on Date Nights and each day send her notes of love, honor, and appreciation. She’s got to know that these are not going to stop. Momentum is built inside of your marriage and business when you build up momentum inside of yourself. Garrett and Danielle are at a point where, when they collide, there is so much momentum, certainty, and power within each of them that neither one of them can stop the other. QUESTION What can you do to start gaining or increasing momentum in your relationship?   Point #5: Character and Contrast During sticky phases, you’re doing the work yet are becoming more bitter and angry towards one another. These are the times you must shift your energy. Once you have that momentum, do the little things to maintain that momentum. Garrett loves the different characters and looks of Danielle from her formal look in Louis Vuitton’s to her ponytail and Lulu pants. Danielle loves Garrett in a suit but finds him especially sexy when he wears a t-shirt and jeans. QUESTION What are the different looks of your partner that take your breath away? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation about the Flywheel Effect. Date Night Topic: What are some things you can do for each other to gain or maintain momentum within your relationship? Quote of the Week: “Business and marriage fall apart for the same reason: people let go of momentum OR they don’t have the courage to keep pushing to even get to the point where momentum can begin.” –Garrett J White “Sometimes we want to look at our business and marriage separately, but taking some of those business tactics and applying them to marriage isn’t that far off.” –Danielle K White

What starts out with fireworks and plenty of sparks between co-hosts and elite dual producers, Garrett J and Danielle K White, segues beautifully into the topic of Gratitude which has the power to change everything.  Every week married couple Danielle K and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…COMMUNICATION Point #1: WHAT IS A STACK? A Stack is a series of questions with five variations (Mega, Angry, Happy, Gratitude, Production) that Garrett originally created three years ago to deal with “my fucking rage.” These questions alter the way you are experiencing different relationships, events, and triggers in your life. One of the challenges men have is the inability to express emotion and end up suppressing them, which is the way society has taught, trained and educated men to do over the past 100 years. The whole point of the Stack is to allow you to release the energy that you’re feeling, whether you’re fucking raging, angry, triggered, or happy and get someone to their truth. QUESTION As a man, what has been your experience with sharing your emotions and feelings?   Point #2: IMPACT There are five different Stacks which serve different purposes. You’ve got the Mega and Angry Stack which allow you to release your rage & emotions, followed by the Happy and Gratitude Stacks, and then finally the Production Stack. The Gratitude Stack requires you to deliberately pause and look back and serves as a powerful tool of connection with your spouse and children. As Garrett has shared these with his children as part of the Core 4 game, he has witnessed first-hand the immense impact it has had on them individually and upon their relationship. QUESTION How has expressing gratitude for your spouse and children affected your relationship with them?   Point #3:  THE GIFT OF GRATITUDE Danielle shares how expressing gratitude gives you a different perspective: “There are going to be times in your life when you feel like you are in a dark place and it’s hard to snap out of that. You start to see the world through a negative lens.” “If you take a step back and begin appreciating the good moments, it gives you this sense of gratitude and everything begins to change. It puts life in a different perspective.” QUESTION What do you notice when you step back and begin seeing life through the lens of gratitude?   Point #4: INSPIRED From his Gratitude Stack about Danielle, Garrett received these insights and revelations about their marriage and how he feels about her: “Marital and mutual respect is something that takes a long time to uncover, and once it’s found, it’s priceless and profound.” “I sit and look at my wife while five months pregnant and am just inspired. I’m inspired by what it is to be pregnant and have your body do what it does with a little person inside of you who is growing. But of all the things that hits home the most is that she can make the baby AND also smash the shit out of life.” QUESTION What about your spouse inspires you?   Point #5: FROM THEN TO NOW Garrett: What makes this pregnancy different from the others is I am grateful for what we’ve become as a couple. In the past, I isolated myself and didn’t know how to deal with the whole pregnancy thing. Danielle: When you look back to how it was eight years ago with our last pregnancy during scary and uncertain times, things are so different this time. We know we’re in a good place right now with life and with marriage, and we’re excited about the next chapter. QUESTION As you step back and look where you’ve been compared to where you are now, what has changed? Communication Challenge: Discuss the art of collision and the ability to hold space for your spouse during intense & direct conversations. Date Night Topic: Make Gratitude the topic of your next Date Night. Share examples and stories of gratitude with each other. If you have access to the Gratitude Stack, do a Stack on each other and then share it during your date. *Keep an eye out for the summer release of the Attack With the Stack Series. Quote of the Week: “Gratitude is the ability to look back: here’s where we are, here’s where we were, and let’s be grateful for what is.” —Garrett J White “When you’re in a space of gratitude, nothing can get you down. Use it as a protective shield for yourself and your family, and to ultimately feel more powerful in life. When I’m in that space, I feel unstoppable.” —Danielle K White

Welcome to the Date Your Wife podcast. This episode is dedicated to all the men who feel like they don’t have a voice when their wife is pregnant and who don’t know what to do with all of their sexual energy.  Every week married couple Danielle K and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…SEX Point #1: Stay In Your Corner Garrett: There’s a phase inside of this where you’re super pumped because you’re having a lot of sex but you know the intention is to make a baby. Guys are then thrown into this corner and are put into this little shoebox during pregnancy and during the recovery after pregnancy. “For basically a year, the woman goes to a place of sacrifice,” Garrett explains, “but a guy goes to a place of sacrifice, too.” (Cue Danielle’s emerging laughing in the background) “This is exactly why guys don’t get a voice on this because the level of mockery is so intense.” QUESTION As a guy, how do you deal with this?   Point #2: What to Expect When You’re Expecting…Penis Edition There are a lot of guys who cheat during pregnancy because they don’t know what to do with all of their sexual energy. There’s no shortage of books and information for women, but practically nothing in place to prepare men for what they’ve just signed up for. Guys want to have sex but generally don’t approach this topic with their wives. And there’s no blog post, book or podcast addressing this – there’s nothing in place to guide a man through the emotional hurricane of pregnancy. QUESTION Guys, what is your experience with this? Point #3:  The Dichotomy Garrett: When your wife gets pregnant, all of a sudden there’s a rising emotion that comes from the Gods. It’s protecting and nurturing. It’s a feeling of “I will fuck anyone up who comes close to this. Everyone is now a second-class citizen to the spouse with the baby in the belly.” It completely suppresses the sexual drive between the man and the wife that he is curating and protecting. The challenge is, the sexual energy wants away from that environment and is immediately triggered by just about any female that walks the planet that is not pregnant. QUESTION How has this shown up in your marriage during pregnancy? Point #4: The Penis Power Is a Decision Many men stop instigating sex during pregnancy because they’re not sure how to deal with the rise of the protecting guardian, the decline of the sexual drive toward their wife, and the triggers outside of their relationship. And some men simply think it’s weird to have sex after their wife is six months pregnant. Garrett: I’ve chosen to channel my sexual energy, although triggered all over the place, towards my beautiful, gorgeous pregnant wife. It’s a decision, even though you’re under suppression. QUESTION As a man, what are your thoughts about this? Point #5: Society’s Advice Garrett understands how bitchy and whiny men can come across on this topic, especially when “we’re not the ones who are going to have to push a pumpkin out of our penis after nine months!” Society tells men, “Listen, asshole, you have no leg to stand on. You’re not the one whose body’s getting jacked and is going to spend twelve to eighteen months in recovery. Shut up pussy and just deal with it.” QUESTION What do you think about this? Communication Challenge: Have an open conversation around the challenges and the joys that both women and men face during pregnancy. What can you create together to bring more support and understanding to each other? Date Night Topic: During Date Night, engage in flirtatious banter you know will lead to a window of opportunity of sexual connection when you arrive home. Quote of the Week: “As I look at the ultrasound, I sit back in complete fascination in all of this. It’s so crazy that in a mass effort of about three minutes of participation, this thing happens.” —Garrett J White “I want the pregnancy perks but I still want to be treated like me. If you know there’s a window, make a move on me. Pretend like I’m notpregnant.” —Danielle K White