Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy talks about the value and limitations of skill-based work and therapy. He talks about how the development of the self is the foundation for deeper change and how that can be accomplished. He posits that the outcome of therapy is that we become who we are.

Dr. Reedy discusses the importance of setting boundaries and dealing with guilt in relationships. He explores the challenges of managing a dysregulated adult child and highlights the significance of learning from both success and failure. The podcast also emphasizes the effectiveness of outdoor psychotherapy and the need to validate young people's experiences.

Dr. Reedy discusses Al-anon, Codependency, and how the 12-Steps apply to the non-identified patient. He defines codependency and talks about its connection to attachment and the attachment wound we suffered. He goes through each of the 12 Steps and ties them back to the principles they address. He debunks the excuses people have when resisting attending meetings for themselves.

Dr. Reedy discuss the shadow and how the repressed energy of our unconscious impacts our behaviors and relationships. He talks about how to recognize the shadow and how to unpack and heal so that we don’t ask our children and our partners to carry our unconscious, undone work.

Dr. Reedy takes live questions from the audience on dealing with children who fight, co-parenting, and learning how to love. He explains that before we try to eradicate behaviors in our children, we learn to listen to them to hear the untold story of the child’s dilemma.

Dr. Reedy discusses repairing relationships in the context of attachment. He emphasizes that repair, forgiveness and reconciliation come on the terms and the timeline of the person who was hurt. He talks about the ego and how we need to let it die to mature and grow.

Dr. Reedy takes live questions from the audience on parenting older children: what is different and what is the same. He talks about what boundaries sound like and how the measure of a good boundary is not in how the child or other person responds.

Dr. Reedy explores the problems with setting goals and measuring our progress. He explains that goals often need to be altered, surrendered, and discarded. He gives a list of goals that relate to being and growing in contrast to goals which point towards arriving.

Dr. Reedy takes live questions from audience members who have tried everything, and they are still not able to reach their child. He talks about the goals of healthy parenting: peace, confidence, clarity…he also explains how the goal in therapy is not to become “better,” but to become yourself.

Dr. Reedy explains various models of human development and how they lead to a more compassionate understanding of mental illness in our children. He explains how parents are often going through a parallel process with their children of individuation and identity development.