Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy takes questions from siblings, family, and friends of Evoke Therapy Programs participants. He talks about how to support a loved one in treatment. He talks about honoring siblings struggle to reconnect to their sibling in treatment.

Dr. Brad Reedy talks about how we communicate with our children reveals qualities of our relationship with them. He provides guidance for writing letters to your child and connecting those to the underlying ideas of intimacy, connection, and differentiation.

Dr. Brad Reedy, Clinical Director of Evoke Therapy Programs, discusses the concept of our inner-child: the lost parts of ourselves, the authentic or real self. He talks about how it is lost through messages of shame and how to regain and integrate those parts of ourselves. Brad talks about doing you own work and shares some stories about his own inner-child work.

Dr. Reedy discusses self-care and creating a life where people respect and honor you and your boundaries.

Dr. Reedy talks about how being right is the opposite of being a Self. He talks about how children and parents can get stuck in the battle over who is right and who is wrong. He talks about how trying to be good and right is the enemy of personal growth.

Dr. Brad Reedy talks about entitlement in children and offers a unique perspective. He explains how terms like "spoiled," "selfish," and even "entitled" are used by adults to shame children so that the adult doesn't have to own and deal with boundary setting. He explains barriers to setting boundaries and encourages parents to do their own work to improve in this area. He also talks about how parents are shamed through labels like "helicopter-parent," "enmeshed," or even "codependent."

Dr. Reedy discusses the dynamics of trust and forgiveness as it relates to parenting a struggling child. He talks about how trust is something we own and decide to give away on our own time schedule. He talks about how healing and forgiving are at the discretion of the hurt part, not the one doing the hurting. He empowers parents to own their feelings a not be responsible for how others interpret them.

Dr. Reedy talks to parents about various types of resistance in therapy and how best to engage their children without making it worse.

Dr. Reedy talks about the 8 Tools he has seen made the biggest impact on the children and families he has worked with for the last 23 years: I statements, listening, clarifying intent, avoiding imperatives and polarizing language, developing a practice of compassion, and taking time-outs. He shares stories and examples of each of the tools as well as how they help foster differentiation in relationships.

Dr. Reedy discusses the shift from the identified patient model to treating the family system. He talks about seeing beneath the symptoms to the underlying wound that is being expressed. He also invites parents of struggling children to model vulnerability and openness in the therapeutic process.