Finding You: by Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy talks about boundaries, shame, going home after wilderness therapy, and other topics as parents, extended family, and friends of Evoke participants ask live questions.

Dr. Reedy explains intensive programming at Evoke Therapy Programs. He talks about psychodrama and how these experiences are for the novice or the experienced therapy goer. He suggest that there is no better thing you can do to support a loved one struggling with mental health or addiction issues, than to attend your own intensive.

Dr. Reedy talks about Autism Spectrum Disorder and how wilderness therapy works with individuals with ASD. He offers practical take-home ideas for parents and emphasizes the need for continued support. He suggests that we shift to see things through their eyes.

Dr. Reedy talks about the need for children to explore their anger and grievances towards their parents and the benefits when parents are able to hear them. He debunks the myth that giving your child a stage to complain about how you hurt them doesn't mean you can't hold them accountable--it doesn't cause them to be a victim. Listening allows them to move through their feelings.

Dr, Reedy talks about codependency and attachment. He talks about what it means to be human and contrasts it with being raised to be good or right. He talks about what to look for in an adequate therapist.

Dr. Brad Reedy talks about outcomes. He explains quantitative vs qualitative outcomes and their advantages and disadvantages. He shares some of the outcomes at Evoke, compared to other programs and approaches. He also talks about what it means to let go of outcomes and how this practice, ironically, leads to better outcomes!

Dr. Reedy talks about the nature of accountability and what we can do to encourage accountability in others, including our children. He also talks about modeling accountability and how guilt and shame are barriers to accountability and prevent awareness. He talks about our right to feel hurt and take our time to trust again.

Dr. Brad Reedy discusses the impact of our family of origin (the family we grew up in) on our current day challenges and difficulties. He also talks about how the pathway out of our children’s struggles runs through looking at the ways we, as parents, hurt them and came up short. He talks about “emotional proximity” and how this is passed on in families. He talks about the need to balance our ability to hold our children psychologically (containing) and having a secure self with clear boundaries.

This book is a must read. Dr. Reedy reviews what he calls "the most important book on the subject of child development and parenting." He talks about the dynamic where a child is able to perceive what a parent needs and then gives it to the parent at the cost of the real self. He explains how many of our challenges are related to our childhood wounds and how it is only by discovering those early wounds that we are able to move past many of the pitfalls in our lives today.

Dr. Reedy talks about codependency and healthy detachment. He offers a definition of healthy detachment and describes the art of boundaries. He suggest healthy detachment is synonymous with healthy connection, attachment, and intimacy.